The "Yep. I'm definitely going to Hell" moment.

[[.redacted]]

I think the problem here is that I don't get the whole shame thing. I think "now I've lost the opportunity to do/get something" instead, which is incredibly selfish.

The sad thing is, I don't feel shame about that either.

Though I must say, I'm rather defeated on the topic of why I'm posting this up...

 

[conzan]

I don't know really a lot of the jokes I make are not PC but there not hurting anyone, so does it count, I pretty much ruin every horror movie i got to just laughing so loud so people can hear what happening
and naming my Indian friend at collage san-jay instead of his real name bappy (like I said he laughed about it and uses it as a nick name now)
and the best moment ever playing dead space 2 with my mate got to that bit with there child in the washing machine thing, i just walked up to it and said "fucking pussy" kept us laughing for a while

 

[AngloDoom]

A girl was flirting with me who lived near me. She was irritating, controlling over her friends, and overall an aggressive person who I didn't particularly like. When she hinted that she liked me I tried to say something to put her off, and did all too well:

"Hearing that you fancy me is like hearing I have a terminal disease. I'm going to feel lifeless and sad for a long time."

Instant regret. A lot of tears. Me awkwardly shuffling away.

 

[Tharwen]

Whenever I listen to the Westboro Baptist Church, I learn dozens of new ways in which I'll be going to hell

. . . cheese pizza threads. . .

Someone had to say it.

...not really.

 

[Kazzak]

Me and my friends are going to hell.

We made a sex joke regarding BDSM and Hitlers Secret Service (the SS)

BDSSM. We are totally screwed

 

[LimitedPunctuation]

Me and my friends are going to hell.

We made a sex joke regarding BDSM and Hitlers Secret Service (the SS)

BDSSM. We are totally screwed

thats the schutzstaffel

 

[MBergman]

Can't really remember any of my own, a friend of mine had something of the sort however.

He had got his then current girlfriend to agree to trying out the bum sex. Upon commencing however she tells him to "Stop, it hurts!" To which he replied: "Yeah? So does a bullet in the head!"

Needless to say he didn't get to put his wiener anywhere close to her for a while.

 

[Shadesong]

I pretty much just wake up and say, "Howdy, Satan" as a preemptive measure.

The one that springs to mind was from a couple of years ago. A friend and I were talking about some woman who had received a face transplant after being shot (I'll give you three guesses as to where), I commented on how far medical science has come along, and then she showed me the woman. I believe my exact words were, "Kill it with fire."

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Stealing 15 gospels from my schools RE class. Then burning them in the forest.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

The reason I bring it up? I had one yesterday. Recently, a friend of mine passed away, and it was quite tragic. A friend and myself were in line for the wake yesterday, and the line went all the way out the building, down the driveway, and down the sidewalk for another 200 or so ft. So my friend and I were killing time in between the morbid silence.

Nah seriously I've cracked jokes at every funeral I've been to often to the grieving immediate family. My philosophy is that anyone who wants you to be actually sad at their funeral is a douche. Respectful of the dead? Yes. Sad? No. Therefore I try to cheer everyone up with humourous tales from the deceased life, gallows humour and anything witty I can think of.

Such as tales of how when my grandad was young and back in Ireland him and his friends pushed a goat down their family's chimney during a wake. The soot covered goat came out the fireplace and everyone thought it was the devil come to claim the deceased's soul.

Or back when my great grandad's brother passed away they were all gathered round the bed. The deceased had died with his knees bent so the mortician had tied them to the bedposts so they were flat to the bed to make it seem like he passed peacefully. While they were paying their respects someone found the rope and cut one of the corners so the knees jerked and the body sprang out of bed.

Guess it runs in my family...

 

[Zachary Unkle]

My friends and I were playing some XBL on Christmas Eve and we told a little kid santa didn't exist....

 

[Owlslayer]

That would be when I watched that Shell shock video with Bird is the word running in the background.

Oh, i remember that again...now i feel like shit.
Seriously, i couldn't stop laughing, but at the same time felt so incredibly... bad? I dunno, wasn't that pleasant.
The only thing that made me feel better was when i sent it to a friend of mine and saw how he felt shitty cause he laughed hard, too.

 

[Ninjat_126]

I hesitated, and said "Too bad their aren't any druid around here, then we wouldn't have this problem". My friend grinned, and hesitated himself "Fuck. He should have rolled shaman". We both felt like awful people for the rest of the day, either for the poor taste, or blatant nerdiness, I am not sure.

You're not going to hell. Or rather, if you do, it's only to get your friend out of there, in some sort of epic "Bill & Ted" type of adventure. Your words are your own way of wishing him back. It was not tasteless; it was a shared understanding. Out of all the formal words spoken at his funeral, yours are probably what reached him the most.

Here's to the Final Respawn, my friends.

I salute you. (This is the first time I've been nice to a WoW player.)

Also, Paksenarrion, thanks for making a Bill&Ted reference. The world needs more of them.






For me? I'm not sure. I think it's my imagination. My lack of empathy, my hypocritical hatred of everyone else, my insecurity/superiority problems... The list goes on. I'm going there just to keep me away from everyone else.

 

[Beat14]

The moment I decided not to bow down to god

Seriously though I can't think of anything obvious I have done, but I do have a certain knack for laughing at people at inappropriate times, like if someone has had some sort of accident. My laughter is normally slightly louder than other people or just that bit to long :/

 

[MindBullets]

Well, we've got the time I suggested the concept of "Super-AIDS", the two occasions I cut a pizza into a satanic pentagram instead of the usual slice arrangement and the various occasions I have yelled "fuckin' Jews!" after messing up a shot on Wii Sports...

There's probably one or two more but you get the idea.

 

[Penguinness]

Can't remember much but there was one time when we were in halls of residence, sometimes we'd just end up watching a movie or something in someones room, so there were 4 of us watching Groundhog Day. If you don't know what it's about - It's Bill Murray having to live through groundhog day over and over again, and he decides to spend all this time trying to get this woman to love him, or something along those lines.

Anyway we were about halfway through watching in silence at about 4am, when I had a sudden realisation, I blurt out "Why doesn't he just rape her?".

Good times, I think most agreed, but it's still a going to hell thing.

 

[Creator002]

the time I remarked that the zombie from the opening vid of Nocht Der Untoten runs like someone from the special olympics. XD

You too? Ha ha ha.

I tease people of their physical ailments all the time. Not because I'm a heartless bastard, but because I don't think. For example, one of my closest friends wears glasses, as he has to. I often call him blind without thinking. It doesn't bother him though... anymore.