The Zombie Apocalypse Forum-Writ Survival Guide!

[Melty Blood]

It would also be wise to learn of the location of other survivor settlements (If at all).

Very very useful advice. Find 'em, then join 'em. If the zombies can get together in hordes, then so can you! Remember: Safety in numbers.

And no intarwebs. Most likely the ISPs will be knocked out, and computers take up a lot of space and electricity.

Look, I'm pretty sure zombies aren't smart enough to know what an ISP is, let alone take one out. I'd say, find the internet where you can and then find people there. Post a thread on every forum you know and can find, then put cookies on the comp to alert you if anyone posts. However, this is only applicable if you're in a group and if you're on your own then do not follow this advice. Alone, the time this would take would be way too long. This time could be used for finding supplies, raiding shops, etc.

point one: Where did I say join up? I meant keep in contact. Sorry if it was ambiguous.

Point two: I might be retarded, but doesn't the internet need people maintaining it?

 

[ABY57]

you add much needed hilarity to the seriousness everyone else posses, almightyjoe. For that, i commend you.

 

[Calobi]

if you see your mother or father, shoot them on sight, they are infected, by default

Best advice ever? I think so. Thank you Almightyjoe, for this brilliant gem of advice.

 

[ABY57]

If all else fails, try smashing them with an electric guitar. This is so very asesome that nothing can actually kill you, especially if, after you beat one into a bloody pile, you make the headbangers salute with your head bowed and your eyes closed.

Even more epic, is if you can get the same result of an electric guitar with an air guitar. You do that, and you will automatically be so awesome, every zombie's head will explode the second they notice you.

 

[ZenMonkey47]

also, If you walk past a doorwy and hear something, do not say 'what was that?' IT. IS. A. ZOMBIE.

During the onset of the zombie apocalypse if someone ever asks "What's happened to them?!" backhand them. The zombie movie genre has been around long enough for there to be no excuses.

If the phrase "They've been hurt! They need to be taken to a doctor!" is ever uttered in your presence during the onset of the zombie apocalypse, put two bullets in the head of "they".

 

[ABY57]

also, If you walk past a doorwy and hear something, do not say 'what was that?' IT. IS. A. ZOMBIE.

During the onset of the zombie apocalypse if someone ever asks "What's happened to them?!" backhand them. The zombie movie genre has been around long enough for there to be no excuses.

If the phrase "They've been hurt! They need to be taken to a doctor!" is ever uttered in your presence during the zombie apocalypse, put two bullets in the head of "they".

Don't waist the bullets. Choke 'em with their own hand. When they turn into a zombie, i'm sure they'll enjoy the little treat.

 

[ABY57]

Don't you mean ''a really good start is to NOT live in Australia?

 

[ABY57]

well, from everything he listed, it sounded like Australia would be a worse place to be in, with all them zombie kangaroos and all...no offense to Australians. I plan on shaking up in Super target/Walmart...

 

[The_Toe_Bighter98]

Well it seems that the zombie threat is ALWAYS in America. There is no exception, the threat is ALWAYS in America so I think that you would want to live anywere but there.

Just remember that zombies love pie, and you will be fine.

 

[ABY57]

convenient, seeing as pie is, typically, American. I am American, but I'm not too patriotic, so please don't throw me into the pile of typical, ''we're better than you because we just plain are'' Americans. And that's not true. Shawn of the Dead took place in Britain...I think...and there's bound to be one in japan...

 

[ZenMonkey47]

The absolute worst place to have a zombie threat is Japan.
1) super condensed population
2) guns strictly controlled
3) maze-like streets
4) population that tends to look the other way when it comes to weird stuff

I swear, if there was a zombie eating someone alive on a train over here, the other occupants would pretend to look disinterested because staring would be "rude".

 

[ABY57]

The absolute worst place to have a zombie threat is Japan.
1) super condensed population
2) guns strictly controlled
3) maze-like streets
4) population that tends to look the other way when it comes to weird stuff

I swear, if there was a zombie eating someone alive on a train over here, the other occupants would pretend to look disinterested because staring would be "rude".

That would make a hilarious movie though, huh?

 

[ZenMonkey47]

The absolute worst place to have a zombie threat is Japan.
1) super condensed population
2) guns strictly controlled
3) maze-like streets
4) population that tends to look the other way when it comes to weird stuff

I swear, if there was a zombie eating someone alive on a train over here, the other occupants would pretend to look disinterested because staring would be "rude".

That would make a hilarious movie though, huh?

and how! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy7l5w0t4W4

 

[ABY57]

The absolute worst place to have a zombie threat is Japan.
1) super condensed population
2) guns strictly controlled
3) maze-like streets
4) population that tends to look the other way when it comes to weird stuff

I swear, if there was a zombie eating someone alive on a train over here, the other occupants would pretend to look disinterested because staring would be "rude".

That would make a hilarious movie though, huh?

and how! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy7l5w0t4W4

Awesome find! Now we know that Karate( or whatever is used in that video ( I can't tell, so sue me ) ) is useless against the undead!

 

[ABY57]

The absolute worst place to have a zombie threat is Japan.
1) super condensed population
2) guns strictly controlled
3) maze-like streets
4) population that tends to look the other way when it comes to weird stuff

I swear, if there was a zombie eating someone alive on a train over here, the other occupants would pretend to look disinterested because staring would be "rude".

Same thing with train molestation, which is one of the problems I have with Japanese society.

I think theres a site for that...of coarse there's a a site for everything...The Japaneses are weird, but they give us good video games, so they're excused.

EDIT- oh, and anime, anime is good too.