Things to say upon arriving in hell.

[ViolentlyHappy91]

"You call this hot? I lived in Australia!"

 

[Robin_Lyon]

"Well, good thing I brought my handy dandy guide book." *Pulls out 'How To Escape From Hell, For Dummies'*

 

[HT_Black]

Captain Kangaroo? That's weird."

Not really. He always seemed like the juvenile defiler type to me. As for another line:

Wait, hang on... you want to use my leg for a cookout?
Oh, hey Dick [Cheney]...what? Get naked?

 

[teknoarcanist]

"I KNEW I should have taken the left turn at Albuquerque!"

alternately:

" 'Welcome to Albuquerque?!' "

 

[Wolvaroo]

"Guess I'm not the only one who took the super happy fun slide"

 

[TaborMallory]

"...That's it?? "

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

"my heavy metal album covers didnt lie"

 

[Lekonua]

"So...Where are all the other nice and decent people who earned their places here by virtue of worshiping the wrong god?"

 

[gbemery]

"Uh, yes I believe I have a reservation"

 

[BladeOfAkriloth]

Boiling rivers of tar? check
Severely underdressed succubus with a burning whip? check
A bigger liar than me? check
Poker with Stalin? check check check

Dangit ! why did they tell me hell was damnation? the only thing that can make this place better is a stream of vodka and a shooting range!

 

[WrathOfAchilles]

Chuck Norris sends a message "Pay up beelzebitch or I'll come down there again..." End Message.

 

[VitalSigns]

Boiling rivers of tar? check
Severely underdressed succubus with a burning whip? check
A bigger liar than me? check
Poker with Stalin? check check check

Dangit ! why did they tell me hell was damnation? the only thing that can make this place better is a stream of vodka and a shooting range!

This is precisely when a ghoulish figure walks over and says "In that case, come over here"

Honestly if I got to hell my first words would probably be "Really?"

 

[Demarcronus]

"See dude, I'm fine. Huh?"

 

[hungoverbear]

ok im gonna need marshmellows, some chocolate, and graham crackers.....

i take it this is a direct result of all the masturbating i did in high school?

Oh i am sooo gonna hang out with Al Capone.

 

[Phlaren1]

"Soooo.... where's the crapper?"

"So, where's Nicky? I wanna listen to some Van Halen."

 

[asinann]

Guess I was wrong and there really IS a god.

 

[Metric Monkey]

"Aw crap I new I should have listened to my wife and taken directions."
[Insert joke about being cold here]
"I've been in casinos hundreds of times and never learned how to play poker. Just when I needed it most."
"Junior high? I thought I left this place..."
"The ride getting here was better than this. I'm leaving."
"Did I just put out that fire? I smell a loophole out of hell."

 

[vickyyfar]

"Mmm... barbecue."