Those one liners that cause you to *facepalm*.

[linkin10362]

There was a time when my class had to make a fable for a project and the smartest girl in the class asked what a fable was. I laughed and then facepalmed.

Also, "I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with LLLLLIIIIGGGGGHHHHHTTTTT!!!!" - Dante, DMC 1

 

[Rayansaki]

Final Fantasy 13:

This isn't a game.
I wish it were.

seriously, most overused quote on a video game and always makes me /facepalm. Same with "This isn't a movie" on a... movie.

 

[natural_fighter64]

Pretty much anything I say while playing Modern Warfare 2. Someone has to lighten the mood, man. Some such examples are.

Killed a guy crouching beside a garbage can. "Looks like I just took out the trash."

Killed a guy while he was in the restroom of the Estate level. "Looks like your shit out of luck."

Killed another guy in the Estate level when he was running thought the greenhouse. "Looks like your pushing up daisies now!"

I've got plenty more but I can feel everyones blood lust from here.

 

[wastedyouth89]

"I'm pregnant"

*FACEPALM*

 

[Shaoken]

Got some comic book examples.

Superboy Prime, basically a superman from another universe where he's a whinny *****, has so many of these that it might as well be one of his powers;

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you to Death!"

*as he's killing a bunch of teen superheroes* "You're ruining me!"

I'm sorry, I can't put my mind through any more of his suckiness.

From Comando;

Arnie: *shoves a steam pipe into a guy's chest* Let off some steam.

 

[AWAR]

My classroom's level of vocabulary.. They dont even know how to speak in their own language!

I would agree, but I'd have to know your class, because if you're talking about words like Frugal, I mean seriously, I only know one person other than I who knows what it means and I wouldn't expect a lot of people to know what it means.

Well it's in my language (Greek) so you wouldnt understand, but they are fairly common words like "approachable" to cite one example.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

On a roleplaying forum one of the staff posted an announcement citing the staff would not be able to preform work on a consistent basis due to playing Final Fantasy XIII. Good professionalism there...

Half of what a "friend" of my mother's does is facepalm worthy. This is a man who owned a company worth over a million dollars, well over and lost it all, only to reacquire a second business and subsequently lose it all again. Yes... twice he lost a million dollars and before you inquiry, this was well preceding the recession.

 

[thenoticeableshadow]

"is passion fruit a fruit or a vegetable?"

you non-Australians might not get this one

"is Queensland overseas?"

 

[Brad Shepard]

Well, for all those who have played it so far, Sazh from FF13 is just facepalm incarnet.

 

[Dogstile]

My friend used this pick up line on a girl he liked:

"Baby, I'm a real estate agent, and I've got some property for you on 'Boner Way'!"

Yes.. He did get the girl. However, in his defense for actually using that line, he is a very charming and charismatic fellow with the ladies. Not that I'm jealous or anything.. [small]Lucky bastard![/small]

He actually said that and it it worked??. Excuse me, I have to go kill myself now.....

I've used far worse pickup lines that have worked. The trick is not to actually use a pickup line seriously. Kills it completely.

"I'm no food taster but I could eat you out"

"Are you in Greece because you are hot"

"I'm trying to catch them all, can I catch you too?"

All have worked for me. Hilarious stuff. I was expecting a slap for each of them

 

[richasr]

Oooh, oooh. I have two. They go together though. Does it still count as a one-liner?

English-class sheet of university essay screw-ups: "Pythagasaurus was the father of the triangle."
Student: Congratulations, it's a triangle!

Also, I watched one intro to CSI: Miami and never again.

Cop: Looks like she was a hooker. Working in the streets.
That Guy: (removes glasses) :/ Not anymore.

Edit: Oh, oh, and: "It's eating her! And then it's going to eat me! Oh my goooooooo-oooooood!"
->incidentally, did you know that God is just Guard with an English accent? Er, for those of you who don't already have English accents?

Eh? Guard is still... Guard when spoken with an English accent, should this confuse me?

 

[Ranorak]

"You know what happens when X gets struck by lightning? *pauze* The same thing that happens to everything else!"

Seriously... they put that in X-men as well.
It's just full of Blargh!

 

[richasr]

Alan Partridge is the source of a lot of mine, sadly a lot of them aren't one-liners:

"The temperature of this apple pie is a thousand degrees centigrade and if I press it, a jet of hot molten bramley apple will shoot out... could go your way, could go mine but either way one of us is going down!"

or

"smell my cheese you mother!"

and countless others from that hilarious idiot, and of course Arnie:

"Who said you could eat MY cookies?!"

 

[richasr]

Oh, and Metal Gear 4 when you get to THAT area of Shadow Moses and Otacon reminds you to change the disk, hilarity ensues when he remembers they're on Blu-Ray...

 

[Elexia]

I can't remember where I heard this from but I'm fairly sure it was in 'Shutter Island':

"I want you to kill him to death!"

Good movie but shit dialogue moments at times.

 

[S.R.S.]

Behold! The Cheesiest movie quotes of ALL time:

 

[Crystal Cuckoo]

"Do the Socceroos play rugby?"