To: Anybody. I'm looking for honest advice..please.

[sky14kemea]

Pfft, you think you're better then me?
You fit your stereotype well.

My stereotype? As someone that is better than you?
Well... yeah. I am. Though I do not derive too much pleasure from that fact as you are obviously not very bright.

Riiight, so because you can type a few more sentences then me, it makes you better and smarter? I don't see how that actually works.
Besides, I'd rather be dumb and have friends then be "smart" and be a jerk like you.

 

[Sonofadiddly]

Third: Depressed is something in your head. No, you probably aren't lying, (or you're the best troll I've seen in all my internet days of 4Chan) but if you want to be happy, you'll find something worth smiling about.

Depression is a medical problem caused by a lack of serotonin in the brain. So I guess it is "something in your head," but it is not something that can be changed by finding something worth smiling about. Depression needs to be treated by medication and/or therapy, and the belief that it's nothing more than a phase that someone needs to snap out of or something that isn't a real, physical problem is what leads to long-term untreated depression that can often lead to suicide. Do some god damn research before giving someone with a serious problem advice, okay? As for the people being assholes, I'm sure you're perfect and have never had a problem, but if you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you take your self-righteousness outside of this thread.

 

[Daveman]

plentymorefish in the sea buddy, you'll find somebody. Try speed dating, I did. I didn't find anyone but it was a right laugh. best of luck, and remember... "Don't stop... believin'...."

 

[JIst00]

One foot in front of the other.

Its that simple. Ive been to the brink too, best thing is to spit off the edge and keep putting ne foot in front of the other.

 

[KurtzGallahad]

Suggestion 1; Over-relationship yourself, sleep around and party hard 'till you are numb to rejection then search for true love

Suggestion 2; shut yourself away and look for a nerd girl as emotionally fucked up as you,

Either one works

 

[KurtzGallahad]

Pfft, you think you're better then me?
You fit your stereotype well.

My stereotype? As someone that is better than you?
Well... yeah. I am. Though I do not derive too much pleasure from that fact as you are obviously not very bright.

Riiight, so because you can type a few more sentences then me, it makes you better and smarter? I don't see how that actually works.
Besides, I'd rather be dumb and have friends then be "smart" and be a jerk like you.

MEOW!
Ladies could you take it outside so the adults can talk

 

[RN7]

Embrace the loliness. Learn to think highly of yourself, and the pain goes away, eventually, it won't matter at all if you find love or not.

As for the father thing, adoption is always an option.

 

[sky14kemea]

snip

Bwaa D:

*puts away cat claws*

 

[Always_Remain]

Stop trying so hard. If relationships don't work for you fuck em! I mean you spend your whole life with someone, trying to be successful, making money, getting somewhere in life when you're really just headed for a hole in the ground. Then what? Heaven? Hell? Oblivion? A land filled with ice cream and unicorns? Who cares! Live in the moment, don't let the past or future bother you. Everybody seems so focused on life that they stop living and just simply float around existing. Earth is just the stepping stone my man. Or so I'd like to believe. Hoped this helped a little.

 

[Zaksav91]

Dude. My five year relationship that ended with disaster. You know what I did? I raged for a while, ruined the last year of her college running career. And made sure that everyone she knew and loved knew that she was a whore and the exact extent. I went biblical on her ass, and then when justice was righteously served. I got on with my life. When a girl breaks your heart you break your foot off in her smoldering twat, and realize that you're better than she is, and then the search is back on for a woman of your calibur. The two things that brought me back to my senses were runs accompanied with the kind of music you kill people to, and heavy drinking. Both have eased back into lesser amounts, and I now remember who I am and should always be, someone seperate in definition to anyone I might be romantically attached to for life or for the moment.

This guy gets all my brownie points!

But seriously man take your life one step at a time. I know what it's like to be alone to be depressed you feel helpless and unwanted. Hell I still struggle with depression after I found out my dad is a a felon and was sent to prison. But hey I got by, I just wore a smile and even though it was fake it still brought many people to me. Over time that smile became more and more genuine and I really started to feel better about things. If you wear a smile at first then people will approach you more being nice to them and being there friend (without being an ass kisser and or clingy). These people will eventually see the true beauty in the person that you are. You will soon have, maybe not alot of friends, but a few close ones. Who knows just having them might lead up to romance possibilities, whether it be by reference or if they were already your friend. Besides your only 20 and many people that are around that age don't necessarily search for "the one". Gah sorry what i'm saying might sound like complete nonsense but it just pains me to see other people in that state of mind. I hope for the best and hope you can work on that depression. If you want you could even add my Hotmail so we can chat or something.

 

[Cyberjester]

snipped for space

the trouble i find is to keep smiling and staying happy for more than 9 hours. 9 hours is a HUGE jump for me, considering what it's been before. ((thank the gods for music, huh?)) but music also brings up bad moments, which is when i skip the songs and try to move on.

and with choices i've made, and things i've done, it's hard to live with myself most of the time. only 2 things usually keep me going, but i wont bother you or the flame war starters with what those are. ((no reason to put fuel on a dying ember, right?))

Heh, 9 hours is pretty good. I usually make 5 minutes, tops. =P I developed a slightly darker sense of humor to make up for it. Nightmare Before Christmas, Invader Zim, Black Books, Death at a Funeral, Portal... An appreciation of the finer points of irony will do wonders in making something miserable look hilariously funny. Although actually laughing out loud at something like that just looks bad and should be avoided. =P

Nothing wrong with flame wars either. =P Blissfully pointless. Till the mods step in and ban everyone anyway.. Always spoiling the fun.

Besides, gaming forum full of guys who have never even kissed a girl before. Is that really the type of place you should be asking for relationship advice?

... So I take it you fit the stereotypical gamer crap then? Just reading the comments on this site, quite a few members are married, and most have a gf/bf. The stereotypical gamer is realllllllllllly old dude.

 

[Cyberjester]

Third: Depressed is something in your head. No, you probably aren't lying, (or you're the best troll I've seen in all my internet days of 4Chan) but if you want to be happy, you'll find something worth smiling about.

Depression is a medical problem caused by a lack of serotonin in the brain. So I guess it is "something in your head," but it is not something that can be changed by finding something worth smiling about. Depression needs to be treated by medication and/or therapy, and the belief that it's nothing more than a phase that someone needs to snap out of or something that isn't a real, physical problem is what leads to long-term untreated depression that can often lead to suicide. Do some god damn research before giving someone with a serious problem advice, okay? As for the people being assholes, I'm sure you're perfect and have never had a problem, but if you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you take your self-righteousness outside of this thread.

Heh.. Research like having it done yourself? Therapy.. Define therapy? Paying a shrink a fairly large fortune for them to say "you're lying to yourself", "there's really nothing wrong with you", etc isn't actually that helpful. Drugs are worse, most anti-depression drugs are considered highly addictive with massive side effects. And I find them useless anyway.

Advice was based on personal experience.

Note: Suicide is when you think there's a way out, there's still hope. Which more often is an impromptu thing or when someone's got way too high an opinion of themselves. If you fall far enough, you miss the ground and keep going. Then it loses it's attraction as an option and ceases to be a problem.

Observation: Depression is an emotional problem leading to imbalances in the brain, correct? If so, then you are fully capable of fixing the imbalance by changing the predominant emotion. Cause or effect? If depression really is just a chemical imbalance with no relation to life, then a traumatic or extremely sad experience shouldn't cause it. It would be genetic with people predisposed to becoming depressed, in which case you could predict it from birth and fix it with.. Medical knowledge is lacking.. But drugs would work in that case. If that isn't the case, then drugs are simply treating a symptom, which is probably why most of them fail.



I didn't say people are "assholes" (which is kinda weird from a linguistic p.o.v., but we'll go with it), I noted that this is the internet. Trolls exist. I also noted that he didn't appear to be one. Compared to related posts in other forums, he sounded less "troll-like". Given that, the assumption is that he's telling the truth, so he wasn't lying, which is what he was told earlier.

Take a moment to read the post before you comment again, kay?

Or we'll just agree we're operating on different levels and not comment on the others posts making assumptions. Mine being perfection of course. =P

 

[Sonofadiddly]

Third: Depressed is something in your head. No, you probably aren't lying, (or you're the best troll I've seen in all my internet days of 4Chan) but if you want to be happy, you'll find something worth smiling about.

Depression is a medical problem caused by a lack of serotonin in the brain. So I guess it is "something in your head," but it is not something that can be changed by finding something worth smiling about. Depression needs to be treated by medication and/or therapy, and the belief that it's nothing more than a phase that someone needs to snap out of or something that isn't a real, physical problem is what leads to long-term untreated depression that can often lead to suicide. Do some god damn research before giving someone with a serious problem advice, okay? As for the people being assholes, I'm sure you're perfect and have never had a problem, but if you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you take your self-righteousness outside of this thread.

Heh.. Research like having it done yourself? Therapy.. Define therapy? Paying a shrink a fairly large fortune for them to say "you're lying to yourself", "there's really nothing wrong with you", etc isn't actually that helpful. Drugs are worse, most anti-depression drugs are considered highly addictive with massive side effects. And I find them useless anyway.

Advice was based on personal experience.

Note: Suicide is when you think there's a way out, there's still hope. Which more often is an impromptu thing or when someone's got way too high an opinion of themselves. If you fall far enough, you miss the ground and keep going. Then it loses it's attraction as an option and ceases to be a problem.

Observation: Depression is an emotional problem leading to imbalances in the brain, correct? If so, then you are fully capable of fixing the imbalance by changing the predominant emotion. Cause or effect? If depression really is just a chemical imbalance with no relation to life, then a traumatic or extremely sad experience shouldn't cause it. It would be genetic with people predisposed to becoming depressed, in which case you could predict it from birth and fix it with.. Medical knowledge is lacking.. But drugs would work in that case. If that isn't the case, then drugs are simply treating a symptom, which is probably why most of them fail.



I didn't say people are "assholes" (which is kinda weird from a linguistic p.o.v., but we'll go with it), I noted that this is the internet. Trolls exist. I also noted that he didn't appear to be one. Compared to related posts in other forums, he sounded less "troll-like". Given that, the assumption is that he's telling the truth, so he wasn't lying, which is what he was told earlier.

Take a moment to read the post before you comment again, kay?

Or we'll just agree we're operating on different levels and not comment on the others posts making assumptions. Mine being perfection of course. =P

The assholes comment wasn't directed at you, but toward the assholes.

You could say that my two and a half years in therapy was a kind of research. My "shrink" was very helpful and never told me that I didn't have a problem. Therapy also didn't cost me a fortune. I don't know why people think it's more expensive than Jesus. It's not. I'm sorry if you had a bad experience, but you must remember that your experiences are not the same as everyone else's.

I was also on antidepressants for a time. Zoloft, a highly popular drug, is not addictive. It can cause bad side effects in a small percentage of the population, in which case the patient would need to be put on something else. Not every drug works for everyone, but antidepressants have come a long way in the past year. Maybe you found them useless at some point, but that doesn't mean that they're useless for everyone. You are not the only person on the planet, after all.

Depression can be caused by a genetic defect, in which case drugs are the solution. In other cases, like you said, a traumatic experience or a pattern of trauma during childhood can cause the brain to produce less serotonin than it should, which causes depression. I'm not sure what you mean by "changing the dominant emotion." Depression is not a mere emotion. A person's thought pattern can be changed by replacing negative thoughts with more positive ones once the origin of the negative thought is discovered, but this is a long and difficult process that often requires the help of a professional. Changing these thoughts will boost serotonin production in the brain. It all comes down to chemicals in the brain, which is why depression is considered a serious and complex medical problem that should not be reduced to something so simple as "it's in your head." This kind of minimizing is what causes people to not seek help. This is the issue I took with your original post. I would advise a lot of people who posted to educate themselves about depression before posting a response to a depressed individual.

 

[Cyberjester]

Third: Depressed is something in your head. No, you probably aren't lying, (or you're the best troll I've seen in all my internet days of 4Chan) but if you want to be happy, you'll find something worth smiling about.

Depression is a medical problem caused by a lack of serotonin in the brain. So I guess it is "something in your head," but it is not something that can be changed by finding something worth smiling about. Depression needs to be treated by medication and/or therapy, and the belief that it's nothing more than a phase that someone needs to snap out of or something that isn't a real, physical problem is what leads to long-term untreated depression that can often lead to suicide. Do some god damn research before giving someone with a serious problem advice, okay? As for the people being assholes, I'm sure you're perfect and have never had a problem, but if you don't have anything helpful to say, why don't you take your self-righteousness outside of this thread.

Heh.. Research like having it done yourself? Therapy.. Define therapy? Paying a shrink a fairly large fortune for them to say "you're lying to yourself", "there's really nothing wrong with you", etc isn't actually that helpful. Drugs are worse, most anti-depression drugs are considered highly addictive with massive side effects. And I find them useless anyway.

Advice was based on personal experience.

Note: Suicide is when you think there's a way out, there's still hope. Which more often is an impromptu thing or when someone's got way too high an opinion of themselves. If you fall far enough, you miss the ground and keep going. Then it loses it's attraction as an option and ceases to be a problem.

Observation: Depression is an emotional problem leading to imbalances in the brain, correct? If so, then you are fully capable of fixing the imbalance by changing the predominant emotion. Cause or effect? If depression really is just a chemical imbalance with no relation to life, then a traumatic or extremely sad experience shouldn't cause it. It would be genetic with people predisposed to becoming depressed, in which case you could predict it from birth and fix it with.. Medical knowledge is lacking.. But drugs would work in that case. If that isn't the case, then drugs are simply treating a symptom, which is probably why most of them fail.



I didn't say people are "assholes" (which is kinda weird from a linguistic p.o.v., but we'll go with it), I noted that this is the internet. Trolls exist. I also noted that he didn't appear to be one. Compared to related posts in other forums, he sounded less "troll-like". Given that, the assumption is that he's telling the truth, so he wasn't lying, which is what he was told earlier.

Take a moment to read the post before you comment again, kay?

Or we'll just agree we're operating on different levels and not comment on the others posts making assumptions. Mine being perfection of course. =P

The assholes comment wasn't directed at you, but toward the assholes.

You could say that my two and a half years in therapy was a kind of research. My "shrink" was very helpful and never told me that I didn't have a problem. Therapy also didn't cost me a fortune. I don't know why people think it's more expensive than Jesus. It's not. I'm sorry if you had a bad experience, but you must remember that your experiences are not the same as everyone else's.

I was also on antidepressants for a time. Zoloft, a highly popular drug, is not addictive. It can cause bad side effects in a small percentage of the population, in which case the patient would need to be put on something else. Not every drug works for everyone, but antidepressants have come a long way in the past year. Maybe you found them useless at some point, but that doesn't mean that they're useless for everyone. You are not the only person on the planet, after all.

Depression can be caused by a genetic defect, in which case drugs are the solution. In other cases, like you said, a traumatic experience or a pattern of trauma during childhood can cause the brain to produce less serotonin than it should, which causes depression. I'm not sure what you mean by "changing the dominant emotion." Depression is not a mere emotion. A person's thought pattern can be changed by replacing negative thoughts with more positive ones once the origin of the negative thought is discovered, but this is a long and difficult process that often requires the help of a professional. Changing these thoughts will boost serotonin production in the brain. It all comes down to chemicals in the brain, which is why depression is considered a serious and complex medical problem that should not be reduced to something so simple as "it's in your head." This kind of minimizing is what causes people to not seek help. This is the issue I took with your original post. I would advise a lot of people who posted to educate themselves about depression before posting a response to a depressed individual.

Fair enough then. I have quite a few friends and family members who also have/had depression, so the issue with drugs and professionals so it's more of a compilation of experiences. Which generally involve large amounts of sucking.. *shrugs* Here's hoping everyone else gets much better results.

My point with the "dominant emotion" part is, if it's caused by a traumatic or sad experience, then.. Wait.. How about, if you're sad for months on end, odds are you'll stay sad as it becomes the norm. Doing that would result in a chemical change as the body adjusts to that.

That's the theory anyway.

 

[BonsaiK]

this is kind of a long one, so please just bear with it.

i'm an optomistic pessamist. i try to find good things out of bad, but that bad usually prevails. now admittedly it's partially my fault, but still.

ANYways, on to the point of this. i am 20 years old. when i go for a relationship, i go because i can see myself with that person for a long time. usually i fall in love, and i fall hard. when things don't work out, i'm devastated. this has happened twice to me. one was with somebody i was with for 4 years. the other more recently. we weren't together very long, not even a full year, but still. it happened.

the most recent was she was moving away for college and wouldn't be home very much if at all. i later found out it was a lie. that was last year. her senior year. she's still here. hasn't moved away. as far as i've heard doesn't plan to, but i can't be sure of her future plans.

the 4 year one was the hardest, obviously. she was also the first person i truly loved. we had plans on getting married. i was even going so far as looking at rings. now it was long-distance, but that didn't stop us. Ohio and Idaho. long ways apart. i dont care what you guys make of that, it was hard but we made it work. 2 months before i was going to fly up there to see her, i found out she cheated on me. stupidly, i forgave her and gave her another chance. well she did it again. we had a huge fight and i went to bed in tears for the next 2 or 3 weeks.

since her i've never really been the same. that relationship changed me a lot in who i am and how i look at things. i've been starting ot think to myself that i'm no good for anybody, and will end up alone. well this thought doesn't sit well with me because i want to be a father someday, but i'm no good with meeting new people. ((so you see my problem)) to me it seems either, end up alone, or try to be social and end up uncomfortable for days on end. i dont talk to new people very well. i feel awkward and hate that feeling.

i hate being single. sure i used to love it, but after awhile and thinking about past experiences. i never want to be single again. i want to find somebody and stay with said somebody. i've been depressed for a long time, but for appearances and for other people, i present a happier and strong image. there's actually a part ppl might hate me for, but in Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park. "I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through" is honestly how i am. i look and act strong for others because most of them need it. but i can't stand another heartbreak.

with everything i've been through in life so far, just emotionally, another heartbreak would make me never get out of bed again, and just stop caring all together. there's no fixing this, and nobody shout have to try and deal with that in a relationship, so i've been staying away from people, but it makes me more depressed. i'm in a rut with no way out. to me, being single fuckin' sucks, but i dont have a choice until my life gets into a better place, but i have no clue on how to get there

now for those of you who say "anti-depressants" or "therapy" keep in mind, my last therapist told me i was lieing and didn't know what i was talking about, and i was 2 or 3 years old with my parents going through a divorce. and for anti-depressants, when i was on them last i almost killed myself, and only reason i didn't, was because my mom held me down to keep me from doing it, and i ended up in a group home. this was all before i was even 12 years old.

so i'm looking for honest advice here. i haven't done this advice asking publicly before, only person i ever ask is one of my friends who is going through a bad time as well, so i've kept to myself these past few weeks. and for added depression, i'm taking a 15% paycut at work next month, and i'm not making enough to make ends meet now, and there are litterally no jobs here.

anybody? i could REALLY use some help here. even just ways to be more social, or how to talk to people. a way to keep from being depressed all the time.

please. anybody. just..please don't be an ass. i get enough of that as it is.

sorry for it being so long, but uber brownie points if you stuck with it all the way through and still offer honest advice without being a dick.

Gosh. Okay, your problem has been answered in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is at the following link: ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=18#4196012

 

[sneakypenguin]

People who ask for help in such a public forum don't want help they want attention. If one seriously wanted help for depression/relationships, there are far better resources for such things.

Like where? Do enlighten us.

You do realize how many relationship, and self help, .edu .gov .org sites are all over the place that focus on depression, relationships, and mental health. Or there's the escapist with 16 year old wannabe Psych's.

People sicken me with how weak minded/thin skinned (for lack of a better word) they are.

And people sicken me with how cocky, and beg-headed they are.

We're all human beings, and in this day and age, men don't have to be ticking time-bombs of internal emotion.

But we also don't have to let every relationship, and bout of depression make us turn to an internet forum just to boost our esteem. I mean whats this guy gonna do when life actually gets difficult beyond some self made relationship problems?

 

[evilartist]

snip

Not that this directly helps your problem, but maybe this will help you think: be thankful for the experiences you've had, and learn and grow from them. I'm 26, and I've never had the luxury of having a relationship. There's a huge, empty void inside me, derivative from a lifetime of social isolation and countless complexes and insecurities. It shows all the time, no matter how hard I try to speak to the ladies. I've never been given a shot; and I would kill to be in your position.

My point is: suck it up. At least you actually got women to like you.

 

[1-800 NOOB OWNED]

I think there is already a "Broeken Haert coarner" somewhere.

Or get a blog. What made you think Escapist is seriously the best forum to post this thing?

Thats cold man thats realy cold

As for advice I would say talk to a priest or something Divine Interention is always a possibility. Because when you have lost it all is when you finally relize that life is beautiful. And que hate mail either cause I'me Christian or can't spell.

 

[Kriptonite]

No way im gonna read all that shit

What made you think Escapist is seriously the best forum to post this thing?
I skipped through most of it, because I'm not interested in your life story.

You both are both quite mean. I've got some other words but I'd prefer to not also accrue punishment. Deathsane, if you have nothing at all to add, especially in the way of intelligent contribution, instead of posting just hit your head on your computer and stay off these forums! You too Abedeus, if you can't even read the whole post, shut up and post somewhere else. Also, it's just plain unacceptable to be such a total jerk. Now I know exactly what people are talking about when they talk about the degeneration of the forums. It's because of people like you!