Virgin want virgin confliction

[Mr.Pandah]

Thats why I said most likely. I know its fun...I'm just trying to tell him that its not what the entire "relationship" that he is looking for should be based on. It just doesn't make sense to me to want these things of someone meanwhile you should just be looking for someone you actually...Oh I don't know...LOVE.

Oh, he's going to wait for someone he loves. He just can't love someone who isn't a virgin, or tall enough, or .

Clarification: "srs bsns" means "serious business".

I...what. I don't even. Alright, I give up.

Because it's totally more special because you two were virgins and your first time was (most likely) miserable. Congrats.

My first time with another virgin was far from terrible, but it wasn't "special" either. Sex is fun. It's even more fun if you don't treat it like srs bsns.

Thats why I said most likely. I know its fun...I'm just trying to tell him that its not what the entire "relationship" that he is looking for should be based on. It just doesn't make sense to me to want these things of someone meanwhile you should just be looking for someone you actually...Oh I don't know...LOVE.

but i said i do want to love that person.

Precisely my point.

I saw your next post about wanting to get over it. Well, this is the collectiveness of the Internet telling you to get over it.

 

[CODE-D]

I'm 23, virgin, female, and zero experience. In short, what you're looking does exist. Just be patient and try to meet people. And I do believe that there are dating sites online that cater specifically to virgins so you might could try that. I've tried meeting some guys on nerdpassions.com which is a good site and completely free so you could possibly try going to places like that and simply making it clear you're a virgin and you're looking for a fellow virgin and see how that works out.

thats also good, who knows maybe ill give it a go.
odd name though...

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

I'm trying to imply the OP sees it as a sort of idealistic romantic "let's go through this together" kind of thing with his would-be lover. I honestly don't see how that's creepy.

We're coming from two completely different directions, then.

I do agree there is an element of romance. I just think it's completely fucking overpowered by the focus on the sex.

 

[Innegativeion]

I suppose we are. I didn't really think of it like that, focusing on losing one's own virginity to another virgin, simply for the sake of deflowering someone.

 

[CODE-D]

I'm trying to imply the OP sees it as a sort of idealistic romantic "let's go through this together" kind of thing with his would-be lover. I honestly don't see how that's creepy.

We're coming from two completely different directions, then.

I do agree there is an element of romance. I just think it's completely fucking overpowered by the focus on the sex.

I assure you i have the best intentions in mind and i know how it sounds. its fuckin creepy and it be twice as creepy if i were older.
i know its selfish too and thats why i try to get over it but it just keeps coming back in time.

 

[Innegativeion]

I assure you i have the best intentions in mind and i know how it sounds. its fuckin creepy and it be twice as creepy if i were older.
i know its selfish too and thats why i try to get over it but it just keeps coming back in time.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Sure, it'd be nice to share the experience with someone, but honestly just look for someone you like above all else.

 

[liquidangry]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

Yup, you're definitely a virgin to think all this holds any water under even mild scrutiny.

Seriously though, I lost my virginity at about the same time that you're making this post. You're 19, haven't been with a girl yet. I've been there. Really, after it happens, the first thing you think of is, "wow, I totally blew that up into something bigger than what it was." I slept with a girl with a lot more experience than me, and it lasted for years afterward...sadly, it's ended later, but don't focus on that! My point is it lasted a much longer time afterwards and that had nothing to do with sex... and honestly, you saying that you want a long lasting relationship that can only happen with a virgin sounds like you're almost want to dupe her because she has no experience, therefore, she doesn't know any better. Creepy, bro, really creepy.

Really, your experience is not a requirement. Good sex can and does come about from good communication. Try and figure out what she likes and does not like through practice Everybody is a noob at some point. Luckily, sex is pretty simple. Trust me, you won't do that badly, unless she's really kinky, in which case you're going to be confused >_< Don't worry about that situation though. It's called kinky because it's not common. Even if she does have some weird quirks about her sexuality, hopefully she'll voice them to you instead of expecting you to just know. If she doesn't and has a bad time, it's her fault, not yours.

 

[Blair Bennett]

No no no...

Virgin + Virgin = The worst sex. Ever.

This, even though this is not an absolute. I know plenty of people who have enjoyed (God, what the hell do you call this) introductory?...sex? What the hell ever. As a virgin myself, I can definitely understand the desire to have the same significance attached to your participation as well as the other, as well as the level of experience. You probably think it will be decidedly less awkward if the two of you are of similar experience.

However, and I may be tragically and unforgivably mistaken here, but it is my understanding that this significance is not necessarily lost when your partner is more experienced than yourself. Also, it might be a good idea if at least one of you know what you're doing.

Also, as Dags mentioned, virgins aren't the only ones capable of engaging in long-lasting, meaningful relationships.

Also, trust me, I may not have the experience myself, but I think enough people have told me (and you, right here on this thread) that your virginal status means nothing...and yeah, I said this just so I could work "virginal status" into a sentence.

 

[bpm195]

I found this bit the strangest. Is the implication supposed to be that non-virgins aren't apt for long lasting relationships?

for the people i grew up with, yeah. say for one couple but he was older and she was younger both in high school and it just worked.
its kinda what i wanted(envy)

...It doesn't work out because their not virgins. It just doesn't work out because they don't want to be with eachother. Are you kidding me?

I know but it makes it more special.

It's not virginity that makes it special, it's the relationship that makes it special. Having a girl look you in the eye and say "I want you inside me" is what makes it special. Learning the unique things that work for her makes it special. Having her want to do things for you is what makes it special. Breaking the hymen is just icky.

Thinking of the most special sex that I've ever had, my first time doesn't rank. That was just an exercise in awkwardness and unrealistic expectations. Sure it was memorable, but really as more of an inside joke.

 

[The Gnome King]

No no no...

Virgin + Virgin = The worst sex. Ever.

I'm not saying you should go trolling for people with experience, but to actually aim for such a catastrophe...

Oh, the humanity.

Actually, I didn't find it that bad. Of course I was 14 and lost it to my 15 year old girlfriend at the time; it was nice to be able to 'learn everything together' - then again, we were the adventurous types to begin with.

I turned out to be quite the freak in life, but there was something kind of innocent and sweet about the whole situation.

 

[Feralcentaur]

Don't try losing your virginity just for the sake of losing your virginity. You should probably just let it come naturally, it will come in time...if you're lucky.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

I assure you i have the best intentions in mind and i know how it sounds. its fuckin creepy and it be twice as creepy if i were older.
i know its selfish too and thats why i try to get over it but it just keeps coming back in time.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Sure, it'd be nice to share the experience with someone, but honestly just look for someone you like above all else.

Exactly.
That was the basic message I was trying to get through, I just can't do anything without being an ornery fuckass.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

This is what we have Craigslist for.

 

[bpm195]

No no no...

Virgin + Virgin = The worst sex. Ever.

This, even though this is not an absolute. I know plenty of people who have enjoyed (God, what the hell do you call this) introductory?...sex? What the hell ever. As a virgin myself, I can definitely understand the desire to have the same significance attached to your participation as well as the other, as well as the level of experience. You probably think it will be decidedly less awkward if the two of you are of similar experience.

However, and I may be tragically and unforgivably mistaken here, but it is my understanding that this significance is not necessarily lost when your partner is more experienced than yourself. Also, it might be a good idea if at least one of you know what you're doing.

Also, as Dags mentioned, virgins are entirely capable of engaging in long-lasting, meaningful relationships.

I think everybody (well, at least every guy) enjoys their first time. However, once you've gotten even just a little bit of experience under you're belt it will be so much better. If nothing else, you'll be capable of anticipating it realistically which is a pretty important part of it.

 

[Kris015]

whats up escapos
I am 19 male and a virgin. Now i have no problem with the fact that i am a virgin, the conflict comes from elsewhere. Its that I believe I want another virgin but its not just cause for their virginity, well kind of. its like this
1-I want to be someone elses first too(be that selfish as it may sound)
and knowing that somebody else was their first just sends my mind erratic wondering how they felt about that person or if they look at in regret(which would also worry me)
2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.
3-now the problem comes from my age(19) most girls by now have already done it at least once so I feel as if their is a time clock. What worries me is that ill find the right girl but she'll already have experienced it all and make me feel like an innocent lamb(which is what i dont want)
so any thoughts/advice? besides dont think about or dont let it bother you(that doesnt work or help, i know ive tried several times)

I had it EXACTLY like you. I was beginning to think I was the only one who wondered about stuff like that.
Can't really give you any real advice though. If you find someone you really love, it doesn't matter anyway.

 

[Thundero13]

Yeah I feel that way too, luckily if I get laid soon to someone near my age then I doubt they'll have had sex, I mean how many gay 14 year-old males have lost their virginity, then again it is illegal... but the chances of that happening are very slim, I wouldn't mind too much if they weren't a virgin though, as long as they knew that I am so sex was probably gonna suck for them (no pun intended).

 

[Android2137]

2-I want somebody with the same exp(which is zero) that way we can explore together and I also want a great long lasting relationship.

...Pardon me if I am mistaken, but it sounds like you want marriage.

...Also are 19 year old virgins really rare? I mean I knew on some level, but are they really THAT rare?

 

[MrHero17]

My view is this, putting conditions on your first time isn't going to help make it happen, so don't . Just realize that the desires you have, while natural, aren't realistic and wouldn't amount to anything anyway. The sooner you can get past the idea of what your first relationship with a girl is "supposed" to be like the closer you'll be to actually starting a relationship.

 

[gbemery]

No no no...

Virgin + Virgin = The worst sex. Ever.

I'm not saying you should go trolling for people with experience, but to actually aim for such a catastrophe...

Oh, the humanity.

Pretty much this. You are both going to be completely nervous, it isn't going to be that pleasurable for her (since for a lot of girls i know their first time was painful), and to top it off you are probably going to fall way short of any length of time you think you will last.

So pretty much her summary of the session will most likely go as thus, he was nervous and awkward, it hurt like hell and I was sore for a while afterwards and it lasted all but of 2 minutes.

Plus two nervous virgins worried about if they are going to make the right moves and what the other person is going to think about them is just a recipe for increasing the odds of unintended pregnancy.

Just don't over think it as you are. The less you worry about it the better it will be for you and whomever you have sex with, virgin or not.