What to do if you ever come to.....

[Anarchy In Detroit]

oh boy. the comedic potential here for me is endless... *sigh*

Well if you come to Detroit...

- Go to a Coney Island restaurant and get two coney dogs. Stick with American (the original one in downtown detroit) or a chain one called National that is spread out all over. Beware: Eating the Coney will make you crap your brains out and/or fart a lot. Lock the car windows on your friends for maximum enjoyment.

- Do not disrespect hockey or the Red Wings if you value your health/life.

- Avoid driving Japanese cars. We will key them and maybe hurt you.

- Do not run your mouth about Detroit. As odd as it may seem to be proud of being from Detroit, that is exactly what we are. You took our jobs but you will not take our dignity (we can handle that on our own hardy har har).

- Stay out of the neighborhoods until you're North of 9 Mile or so. Stick to Downtown and you're safe. Wander around neighborhoods you're not familiar with and things can go south fast.

- Make fun of Kwame Kilpatrick and/or the City Council. You'll fit right in. Make fun of the Lions, you'll fit right in.

- Go to Buddy's Pizza.

- Hit up the Old Shillelagh and drink

- go to Canada to drink if you're under 18 *wink wink*

- Be prepared for any kind of weather at any time. Seasons don't matter as much as they should here. It'll be 70 one day and 40 the next. Lately it's hot and humid like the back of Satan's balls.

- No mass transportation. Plan accordingly.

- Go to Greek Town in Downtown.

- Explore our many and varied Car Swallowing Potholes.

- See our vast and sprawling Post-Industrial wasteland! Thanks free trade! I'm glad we're more American/less Communist for impovershing and crippling our own country. Good to know. I think the rest of the Rust Belt concurs.

If you're in Michigan...

- Shoot stuff.

- Drink.

- Drink more.

- Go fishing! go hunting! Go for boat/jet ski ride! Go 4 wheeling!

- Get drunk and go fishing! go hunting! Go for boat/jet ski ride! Go 4 wheeling!

 

[skcseth]

If you ever come to North Carolina, reconsider your vacation plans... Charlotte's alright though.

 

[Mstrswrd]

If you ever come to New York, get some Pizza. Specifically, go to "New Park Pizza," though I can't remember the exact address (It's on Long Island).

Also, be prepared to, if you go into Manhatten, hear the largest volume of cursing you have ever heard, coming at you from all sides, but not necessarily directed at you.

 

[JediMooCow]

If you ever come to New Zealand you have gone too far. Australia is up a little more.

So true.


If you ever come to Melbourne, Australia, bring an umbrella. And shorts. And thermal underwear. And sunscreen. And take it all with you when you go anywhere.

And if you're in Melbourne, and you happen to mention that Rugby isn't really so bad, and maybe AFL Football is a bit overrated... I hope you're a fast runner.

If you ever come to Australia in general, ask about drop bears. No, really.

If you're in Australia, and you're American, and you make the mistake of calling an Australian British... DON'T!

If you ever come to Australia, make sure you can use a shovel. Eight of the world's ten most deadly snakes live here.

 

[Ben Jamin]

If you ever come to Australia dont compare AFL to any other sport. Ever.

 

[New Troll]

If you ever come to Oklahoma, reevaluate your life decisions.

If you ever come to Oklahoma, never expect the weather to remain predictable. Just doesn't happen. Ever.

If you ever come to Oklahoma, just keep on driving through. Unless you're heading north in which case stear clear of Kansas. That place is fucking boring as hell! Go north-east into Missouri instead. You won't regret it.

If you ever come to Oklahoma, don't be surprised to hit a deer and a bat with your vehicle. Happens all the time.

If you ever come to Oklahoma, don't ever mention Texas unless you started with the words "I hate..."

 

[bodyklok]

If you ever come to Suffolk, don't tern around or I'll kill you where you stand.

If you ever come to Suffolk, I hope you have a great time.

If you ever come to Suffolk, look me up I'll find you a cheap room.

If you ever come to Suffolk, I hope you like epic amounts of fields and nothing.

 

[coldwarkid]

If you ever come to Glasgow, you should on no accounts drive through be in Pollock.

If you ever come to Glasgow, try the fish.

 

[Sinator23]

If you ever come to queensland, prepare to hear endlessly about how fuckin great queensland is, not from me but from every idiot and his dog thats never left the state.

 

[konkwastaken]

If you ever come to Australia

You can assume that every guys name is Steve and every girls name is Sheila.
That everyone has pet kangaroos in which they ride to work.
that every meal you will eat is cooked on a barbecue, rain or shine.
that the only greeting to expect ever used is g'day mate.
that everyone owns a cowboy hat with corks on strings hanging from it.
That nobody has seen a building over 2 stories.
Boomerangs are our weapon of choice for both hunting and military purposes.

 

[Kyoufuu]

If you ever come to Australia in general, ask about drop bears. No, really.

If you're in Australia, and you're American, and you make the mistake of calling an Australian British... DON'T!

He does not exaggerate about the drop bears. Also, if you're in Australia, and you're American, DO NOT call Australian Aborigines African-Americans.

Do not ever mention shrimp on the barby. We don't even have shrimp, we have PRAWNS, which are to shrimp what carp are to goldfish.

Don't expect to see a lot of kangaroos, koalas, or anything like that, any more than you would expect to see bald eagles in the US

It's called Hungry Jacks here, not Burger King.

When they have 'no swimming' signs, they mean it. Box jellyfish venom is among the most dangerous in the world. You can get pumped full of anaesthetic, put under sedation, and still be screaming from the pain.

That's all I've got for now.

 

[King_Pickles]

if you ever comes to England look forward to immgrents, racists and swearing

 

[Sark]

If you ever come to Australia, watch out for Aborigines. This applies everywhere.
If you ever come to Newcastle, go to the beach.
If you ever come to Australia, look like a tourist. (I have never seen a tourist that doesn't look the part)

 

[LiquidForce]

If you ever come to Warsaw [Poland]:

- 1. get this scarf

2. go to Praga/Brudno part of the city
3. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! [remember to play Yakety Sax for an appropriate background ]

- remember: tap water = POISON

- When you're out of the hospital after #1 [hopefully not a morgue :d] you can as well leave - there's not much to do here >.>

 

[Sinator23]

Kyoufuu
"Don't expect to see a lot of kangaroos, koalas, or anything like that, any more than you would expect to see bald eagles in the US"



Hmmm i'm not sure where in oz you have been because kangaroos are everywhere and I'm not just talking about way out bush but alongside highways.

 

[similar.squirrel]

If you ever come to Sligo, hit me up at annarourkesxc@hotmail.com 4 fun nd naughty.

 

[johnman]

If you ever go to Lincoln make sure you dont mention Grimsby

 

[xenos60]

If you come to Canberra, buy a ticket and get the fuck outta there. Go somewhere even mildly more interesting, like Dubbo. You will thank me.

 

[EeveeElectro]

If you ever come to Bradford, bring a bullet/stab proof vest.
If you ever come to Bradford, don't forget to bring disinfectant in case you touch something.
If you come to Bradford, don't be racist, we're the largest multicultural city in England.
If you come to Bradford, take a visit to the media museum, it's world famous apparently.
And if you do come to Bradford, call in for a cuppa!