Lazlo Woodbine.
The world greatest detective.
Ok. So maybe not many people have heard of the great Lazlo Woodshine (some call him Laz) so some explanation of how he works is in order:
That being said. Read Robert Rankin.
The world greatest detective.
Ok. So maybe not many people have heard of the great Lazlo Woodshine (some call him Laz) so some explanation of how he works is in order:
Lazlo's Rules
In any Lazlo Woodbine story, Lazlo commonly begins his appearance by explaining that he goes through the novel in his trenchcoat and fedora, armed with his trusty Smith & Wesson (Whose name is constantly mispronounced for no apparent reason other than a desire to do so), and only ever works four locations, regarding these four as the maximum number that a truly great private detective requires. These locations include;
Lazlo's office, where he is hired by his clients.
Fangio's bar, where he talks toot with Fangio the fat barman and is subsequently knocked on the head by the dame that does him wrong.
An alleyway, where Lazlo gets into sticky situations that involve him having to shoot somebody
The final rooftop showdown, where, after a climatic confrontation, Lazlo sends the villain plunging to oblivion in the final chapter
Throughout the novels, Lazlo avoids explicitly describing any of these four settings, thus allowing him to use them for multiple locations, such as arguing that any occasions where he is in an office feature him being inside his office as they all look alike.
However, in any of Rankin's novel where he plays a long-term role, Lazlo commonly finds his way around his four-set rule to move from location to location, such as closing his eyes while travelling from the alley to the rooftop- thus avoiding actually seeing anything, and hence not breaking the rule- or assuming another persona altogether to account for the travel time.
The only occasion where Woodbine has clearly violated his four-set-rule was in Armageddon III, when he briefly shared a bedroom with Rex Mundi and twin babies who had been abducted and experimented on by aliens.
According to Woodbine, when reading one of his novels the reader can always expect a lot of gratuitous sex and violence, a trail of corpses, no small degree of name mispronunciation- characters commonly pronounce his name wrong, calling him everything from Woodlouse to Woodstock- and enough trenchcoat humour and ludicrous catchphrases to carry you through a month of rainy Thursdays (Although some novels point out that the sex would be difficult given that Woodbine's four scenes lack a bedroom).
In any Lazlo Woodbine story, Lazlo commonly begins his appearance by explaining that he goes through the novel in his trenchcoat and fedora, armed with his trusty Smith & Wesson (Whose name is constantly mispronounced for no apparent reason other than a desire to do so), and only ever works four locations, regarding these four as the maximum number that a truly great private detective requires. These locations include;
Lazlo's office, where he is hired by his clients.
Fangio's bar, where he talks toot with Fangio the fat barman and is subsequently knocked on the head by the dame that does him wrong.
An alleyway, where Lazlo gets into sticky situations that involve him having to shoot somebody
The final rooftop showdown, where, after a climatic confrontation, Lazlo sends the villain plunging to oblivion in the final chapter
Throughout the novels, Lazlo avoids explicitly describing any of these four settings, thus allowing him to use them for multiple locations, such as arguing that any occasions where he is in an office feature him being inside his office as they all look alike.
However, in any of Rankin's novel where he plays a long-term role, Lazlo commonly finds his way around his four-set rule to move from location to location, such as closing his eyes while travelling from the alley to the rooftop- thus avoiding actually seeing anything, and hence not breaking the rule- or assuming another persona altogether to account for the travel time.
The only occasion where Woodbine has clearly violated his four-set-rule was in Armageddon III, when he briefly shared a bedroom with Rex Mundi and twin babies who had been abducted and experimented on by aliens.
According to Woodbine, when reading one of his novels the reader can always expect a lot of gratuitous sex and violence, a trail of corpses, no small degree of name mispronunciation- characters commonly pronounce his name wrong, calling him everything from Woodlouse to Woodstock- and enough trenchcoat humour and ludicrous catchphrases to carry you through a month of rainy Thursdays (Although some novels point out that the sex would be difficult given that Woodbine's four scenes lack a bedroom).
That being said. Read Robert Rankin.
