Worst movie(s) you have ever seen?

[prophecy2514]

The Scorpion King 2 and 3. Oh sweet jesus. They look cheap and ugly, and such terrible awkward acting is prevalent throughout both films. They are both incredibly painful to watch after such an amusing first film.

Passion of the christ - movie is essentially watching a guy getting beaten up to the point of oblivion. Seconds? no thank you

and the last airbender. yeaaah, was unforgivablely embarassing for mr m. night shayamalan

 

[lunam-kardas]

Paul Blart Mall Cop.

This was an entire movie about the saddest damn human being in existence, and it just loved torturing him because it thought it was funny.
It wasn't funny.
It was pain. Just...just pain...

Yeah this... it just wasn't funny on any level... I mean every joke comes down to, because he's fat...<.<

and the worst part is that this movie came out the same year as Observe and Report, a movie I actually liked, which shared a very similar premise, but it had a sense of humor more complex than a third grader... so it was actually able to pull of the ironic dark comedy...<.<

God, I wish it was just stabbing cruelly at his rotund physique for a laugh. But you forgot all of the other things this movie absolutely loved to tear into:

-It straight up tells us his ex wife only married him and had his kid so she could become a citizen of the US and as soon as that was cleared, she bounced, abandoning both him and their daughter.
-He desperately wants to be a protector of the public, but of course the poor man has a hypoglycemic medical condition which only kicks in when the movie deems it to be the most humiliating possible moment, so he has never been able to qualify to be a police officer, despite numerous attempts to do so and the absolutely god awful caricatures that call themselves cops act like the mere idea of his dream is the funniest damn thing on the planet.
-His coworkers at the mall don't treat him with a shred of dignity...HELL, the only person who treats Paul Blart like a human being is his daughter, who surprise surprise, the movie also pokes fun at because le gasp, she's fat.

I could go on and on but JESUS why would I want to?!

 

[[Kira Must Die]]

Damn, I'm not really sure. Most of the bad movies out there I usually avoid, laugh at, or just watch a review or riff of other people watching it. One that comes to mind right now is The Last Airbender. At least with something like Dragonball Evolution I can laugh at it for how much it completely misses the point of the show. There was nothing to laugh at in The Last Airbender (besides the penis hair thing), it was just a pain to sit through. Horrible acting, dialogue composed of mainly exposition, crappy effects, a lack of any character depth or humor, and just plain boring. Granted, I'm not a big enough fan of the show, although I do enjoy it, that it pisses me off, same with Dragonball Evolution. Now, if they were to make a live-action film of something I love, like Death Note (which I'm fully aware they're making), Evangelion, Madoka Magica, or even somehow FLCL, and those turned out to be really, really shitty, then I'd have a reason to throw a fit.

Another one that comes to mind is Tim Burton's Chronicles of Narnia, oh...wait, sorry, I mean Alice in Wonderland. Like Dragonball Evolution, it misses the entire point of the source material, in favor of having big epic battle scenes that Alice in Wonderland never had and a coherent plot to a story that doesn't really have or needed a coherent plot. It puts logic and reason into a world that's not suppose to have any logic or reason. It's even sadder since a lot of the designs, characters, and overall look of the film would've worked fine if it were a much more faithful adaptation, and Tim Burton seemed like an ideal choice to direct an Alice in Wonderland movie, whether it really was his fault or if there was a lot of studio interference, although his track record hasn't been great as of late.

I'm sure there's more movies I've seen that's probably worse, but I mostly specialize in bad anime rather than bad films.

 

[his1nightmare]

The Garden of Love
Resident Evil: Afterlife

Highly hard to decide...
Though while Garden of Love is a horror/splatter movie without quality, Afterlife is a movie lacking everything.

 

[darkcalling]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the genius that is...

The Amazing Bulk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywaR-Lq_ayk

Damn ninjas.

Here's Obscuras Lupa's review of it if you don't want to subject yourself to the whole thing. Which I don't recommend. I actually felt like I was going to inflict physical harm on someone. It's that bad.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/ol/olp/36207-the-amazing-bulk

My distant second is probably Leeches. I think it was a Syfy channel original. A college swim team (male btw so you can't even watch it for the hope of nudity) Is attacked by mutant leeches that are attracted to their steroid rich blood.

It is just as pointless as it sounds.

Yay, my first Ninja-ing!

OT: Yeah, seeing OL's review is what made me want to see it. I just HAD t find out if it was for real. And unfortunately, it was...

If I'd seen the review first I wouldn't have watched it. My roommate saw it and, like you, had to see if it was real. He made me and my other roommate watch it with him.

 

[Dangit2019]

Don't Go in the Woods

It's an amateur indie horror/musical (yes, you read that right) where a bunch of absolutely loathsome hipsters go into the woods, sing horrible out of pitch folk rock, and then get killed off by the most annoying hipster of the bunch. Now, you might think to yourself "that's sounds absolutely amazing, where can I see it?" but don't. Just don't. It's absolutely horribly bland. Have you seen a horror movie before? Hell, have you seen "Scream"? Then you've seen this movie, down to every plot point. The only difference is the large amount of horrendous hipsters complaining about random shit while singing mournful songs with an acoustic guitar.

It's not even good in the train-wreck, what-were-they-thinking kind of way, it's just boring and self-satisfied.

 

[Dangit2019]

I also want to give this movie a mention.

No movie has ever annoyed me more than this...delightful film.

I remember watching the Nostalgia Critic review of that. When he got to the part where he said "but it was all just a dream" I laughed and said, "Oh, Doug, that's hilarious". But then he kept going on with the review, and I realized he was serious.

Did somebody actually think that it was a good idea to have 70 minutes of their movie NOT FREAKING EXIST EVEN IN IT'S OWN REALITY? Do they not realize that people may see it as a complete waste of their time?

 

[Legomaniac91_v1legacy]

My worst movie has to be "Manos: the Hands of Fate." Admittedly I did see the live Rifftrax version and that lessened the awefulness, but it was still a huge pile of crap.

 

[drh1975]

Superman Returns. Holy hell this movie was fucking terrible. Christopher Reeve is spinning in his grave because of this steaming pile of shit.
The Matrix. Yep, I'm that guy. This is one of the few movies that literally put me to sleep. I'm getting drowsy just thinking about it.
xXx: State of the Union. Ten minutes in and I was done. Ice Cube is a terrible actor.
30 Minutes or Less. Was this supposed to be funny? If so, I didn't get the memo.
The Blair Witch Project. I've seen better acting in the WWE.
Constantine. Yet another Keanu Reeves movie. Why in the hell does this wanker keep getting work?
Ultraviolet. If you've never seen this cinematic abomination, I envy you.
The director's cut of The Exorcist. There's a reason this was "The version you've never seen." This extended cut damn near ruined one of the greatest horror movies ever made. Extended Cut, my ass. Boring Cut is more like it.

 

[AT God]

I watched The Room from beginning to end. Anyone able to beat that?

 

[Zombie_Fish]

The Star Wars Holiday Special. A film so bad George Lucas and Harrison Ford denied its existence.

Let that sink in for a moment. It was so bad that George Lucas regarded it as a mistake.

Special mention to Manos: The Hands of Fate. The only people to profit from that film was a girl who got a free bicycle and a dog who got a large quantity of dog food.

 

[Darren716]

I'd have to say "Yor: The Hunter From the Future". I think I was 10 at the time. I still remember the utter crappiness of it all .

By the way, has anyone mentioned Uwe Bowle? I haven't seen anything by him but I hear his movies are total crap.

Yor can't be the worse movie ever it has this scene in it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrYxLSSSRd0 (for some reason the embed isn't working)

OT: I'd say the worst film I've ever seen is Jack and Jill, don't ask me how I ended up seeing that piece of shit but just know you should stay far away from it if you have any intelligence what so ever.

 

[ThatDarnCoyote]

The only other one I can think of was a really bad movie was about some teenager killing dozens of people in his town for no reason at all. It was revolting. The only reason why I list this second was because, when I watched it, I was on a lot of pain killers from my wisdom teeth being pulled and I'd watch anything at that point. So bad.

It sounds like you saw this[/a]. It's by Uwe Boll. You have my deepest sympathy.

OT: [em]Natural Born Killers[/em]. Artistically inept and morally repugnant, it's the Oliver Stone-iest movie Oliver Stone ever made, and a distillation of all the worst aspects of films in the 90s. It pretends to be a satire of media glorification of violence, to cover up the fact that it's basically a journey into the deepest recesses of Oliver Stone's id. Not a place anyone should visit, especially Oliver Stone.

From an original script by Quentin Tarantino, who refused to be credited, and allegedly told Steve Buscemi and Tim Roth that if they appeared in it, he would never cast them again.

 

[Kinitawowi]

The Simpsons Movie stands proud as the worst film I've paid money to see in a cinema. I saw the George Clooney version of Solaris and didn't get it; I saw the rejig of Alien and it hurt my eyes because the projectionist was incompetent. But neither of those movies were a ten-years-too-late pointless self-indulgent shitfest.

Elsewhere... Snakes On A Train (note distinction) was pretty awful.

 

[mechalynx]

Gosh, people. Have none of you seen "This Means War"? There is literally nothing good in the movie. The acting is shit, the soundtrack is shit, the camera work is shit, and all three combined won't top the atrocity that is the plot.

If I can accomplish anything in this life, is warning as many people away from that turd monster and the illustrious mr McG. Seriously, that man needs to rethink his choise of careers. He makes Uwe Boll look like fucking Ingmar Bergman.

 

[redknightalex]

The only other one I can think of was a really bad movie was about some teenager killing dozens of people in his town for no reason at all. It was revolting. The only reason why I list this second was because, when I watched it, I was on a lot of pain killers from my wisdom teeth being pulled and I'd watch anything at that point. So bad.

It sounds like you saw this[/a]. It's by Uwe Boll. You have my deepest sympathy.

Yes, that was it. Ugh, what an atrocious movie. I'm so thankful I can only remember bits and pieces and that the painkillers were enough to keep me mildly sedated throughout the entire thing. After a few days of those things, you can barely watch anything except the horribly bad so you can sleep through the movies.

At least we have a way to let these movies be made. The one good thing we can come out of all this is a non-censorship policy with movies. Or, at least it isn't terribly obvious. If he can make that, then I don't see an limits.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I would say 'The Room' but I prefer to think of it as a work of comedic genius.

The Room isn't a film: it's an experience. If you have a chance to go to a midnight screening take it!

---

The Road.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898367/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

It moves at a snails pace, going nowhere and answering none of the questions it raises. It was kind of like Children of Men only with nothing going for it. At least Children of Men had some spicy Murder in it to liven things up. Blair Witch Project is another movie that I absolutely hate. Ya know what? I'm going to say Blair Witch and The Road tie for first as the worst movie I've ever seen. Screw both of em'.

 

[Not Matt]

well the room was a bucket of shait but that movie is so called out as bad now it's not even funny anymore. still though. there's bad. and then there is giving up

 

[TheDoctor455]

Twilight, High School Musical (1 and 2)...

all movies I was conned or coerced into seeing... hated all of them.

Also applies for Transformers.

 

[MrBenSampson]

In no particular order:

- Cop Out
- The Other Guys
- Step Brothers
- The Village
- Lady in the Water
- Pineapple Express
- The Strangers
- Borat
- Human Centipede
- Paranormal Activity
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Superbad

I really don't know how I sat through them all.