Worst thing you've done when you're drunk

[John-Joe]

Not excactly me being retarded, but I got to watch it.. which was awesome
Two of my mates who are twins were really pissed one night, and at their front door they decided to have a fight over who got to open the door.
The fight ended with one of them on the ground, and the other one on top of the neighbours car, 'cause he wanted to do a wrestling style finishing move, but he accidentaly fell through the cars windshield, and buggered his leg up for about 2 months.
I love those twins.

 

[LordSnakeEyes]

My Girlfriend's Mom, My girlfriend's Sister and My Girlfriend. Simultaneously.

Dude, no way!

Yes, But sadly it was a one time thing with the mom...

 

[errorfied]

I spent a night pretending I was a female to male transsexual and flirted with a drunk married mother in her late 30s, told her she was beautiful; eventually I made out with her and we had an argument over something (too drunk to remember) in a supermarket at 5am.

She was very unattractive.

And I am gay.

Fuck my life...

 

[Turtleboy1017]

I just gotta say, if your under 21 and your drinking at a party or something, never, and I repeat NEVER become so drunk that you can't get away if the cops decide to come-a-knocking due to noise complaints...

Seriously that is like a word of wisdom there.

 

[Delicious]

Yesterday I jumped through the open window of a strangers car at a stop sign.

Roll up your windows folks.

 

[IronDuke]

Lots of theft, fighting, strange sexual encounters, unintended paying for a prostitute, cheating on girlfriend in front of her, getting crazy and punching things in my work place then quitting but not remembering I did it until I turned up for work the next day, spilled my feelings to friends, had a mental breakdown, lots of drunk driving, turned up for a few jobs drunk and got hammered while working, drunk messaged, slapped alot of my friends really hard, cocaine (actually the best, really), failed to get hard for a girl, tried to hold a conversation with my visiting grandparents after a load of spirits and five dexamphetamine tablets, slept with friends and ruined the friendship... that will do for now.

There are a few to do with sex that I won't mention because Ill get attacked by the girls here, but needless to say I can be an asshole when Im drunk and horny.

EDIT: Reading other posts reminded me of a few more; cooking a banana in a frying pan with noodles and passing out while eating it (and continuing to spoon it into my lifeless mouth as I lay gurgling on the couch-my friend recorded it, something I didn;t want to remember).

Had a sword fight (not the peeing kind) and a very brutal slap duel with a friend while on a drug and alcohol binge.

Challenged 15 people to a fight for hitting my friend. Amazingly most of them backed down except for one guy who hit me in the side of the head, but I floored him so it was OK.

I should stop.

 

[Iskenator67]

I lit my friends hair on fire.

 

[ExaltedK9]

I get to be in the very smug position of saying I have never been drunk. Therefore I have no worst thing to admit to.

On the downside, the "never drunk" thing is due to no social life. So that kinda balances it up a bit.....

I'd rather not have a social life than be drunk all the time.
...
That is a lie. I'm so very lonely.

Another Escapist who has said exactly what I'm feeling....

I would happily get as drunk as possible (without being physically sick) if it meant not being alone.

You too?

ohhhh i hurt.

 

[[Gavo]]

I don't possibly think I can put mine... But I want to hear everyone else's ;]

Say it .

I'm too young to drink, I'll come back in a while when I get totally wasted.

Oh, I must have done some $50,000 worth of damage on that same Air Force Base...

My brother, one of his best friends, and I went around treating the Water Sprinklers like Golf Balls. We broke over 150 Sprinkler Heads with a 9 Iron, A 7 Iron, and a Driver. Our proudest feat was the ROW of Sprinklers DIRECTLY next to the Officers house and across the field from the Security Guard Shack. I hit 9 of the 18, because I ran ALL the way across the field and hit four as I ran back towards cover.

They had to completely tear up the old water pipes and replace them, so it may have been well over $100,000 because it was an Air Force base....

Dude, really? That's hardcore. Sounds like something some of my friends would do sober.

 

[Vek]

Edited; Needless to say, had I been less lucky, it would have carried prison time.

 

[manaman]

It started out as a normal night, little drinking going on. Then we got the bright idea to drive to Mexico. I kept insisting Mexico was a magical land of honey and rainbows. The border towns however are not so lovely. During our time in Mexico (we drank the whole 2 1/2 hours driving there. We where there around 11 pm, when we split into to groups. I went off to a couple of bars I had visited before, had a wild time, actually getting kicked out of one bar for fighting, which started us running away as fast as we could. You do not want to get arrested as an American in Mexico. All that is really cloudy and unclear and some of it past the time at the first bar is filled in by my friends.

We meet up with the rest of the group and one guy wanted to visit a Mexican brothel before heading home. Knowing better I thought he was crazy to want to sleep with a Mexican prostitute, and was of course very loudly vocal of this until we got to the brothel. I started passing out when we got there, so they left me on a couch. The police where called because of a couple of my friends and when the got there and found me on the couch I apparently struggled. A lot. My friends where able to put about $400 bucks together, and it still took a little talking to get the obviously battered police man to pretend it never happened.

This was fairly stupid, yet still does not sound like the most retarded thing I have ever done, until you know that I was in the USAF at that time, and we where not supposed to leave the base, let alone leave the country. It was a very close call that if it had gone any other way I probably would have been packing my shit and getting kicked in the ass on my way out the door by the end of the week (except it really seems to take 6-8 months to discharge anyone from the military before their contract is up).

 

[Tyler_Durden]

i got so drunk 1 time that i woke up the next morning completely oblivious to what i did the night before. what i did know is that i felt like shit and my head had a gash in it. after talking to my friend on aim i found out that i tried to get with an ugly girl and her boyfriend who is a doughy ball of shit started a fight with me. my friend told me that i had nearly beat him to death after he hit me over the head with a beer bottle when i skeedattled back home.

 

[asawisemansaid]

i just drank a bottle of rum and then confessed my love to my female best friend who thought i was kidding...does that count?

 

[lizards]

well lets see........i fucked my best friend in 7th grade (thank god she was a girl)....fucked my best friends sister couple months ago (at this time my best friend is a guy) and to top them all off i told him a week ago when i was drunk and i told him the thing is not only was he pissed that i fucked his sister but out of some strange happening which im still blown away by the in 7th grade the girl was his girlfriend who he had just started going out with that day but then found the 2 of us while we were passed out and didnt know that i was that guy im still trying to figure out how the 7th grade thing even came up

he is not my best friend anymore.....

 

[incubus42]

Hmmm... the first thing I can think of

Well, you guys of course know the: "I bet you won't...", which is an even more stupid thing when you are drunk.
Long story short, a female friend of mine and I ran naked from a bar to a statue and back at probably 3am.

 

[Juan Regular]

I have never been one to sleep around - quite the opposite, in fact, I am extremely frigid - and I am pretty much 100% straight. And I don't really drink now either, which, on reflection, is probably for the best.

Nothing wrong with a little experimenting.

Reading all your posts I almost feel good about myself. The worse thing for me was probably at one of my bands gigs. I have only flashes in my head, but I remember kissing this girl I swore I would never make out with, puking on the backstage floor and sitting in some shower with a bottle of Tequilla. The morning after was a blast...
But we played a good gig.

 

[LowFatLoki]

I ended up making out with my ex's bext friend, in the back seat of my ex's car, while my ex was driving.

What a night that was.

 

[megalomania]

This isn't the worst thing I have done but it was pretty funny:

Got drunk on cocktails and really casually walked up to this hot girl and said 'If it doesn't work out with you and John (her BF), you should give me a call', then wandered off. He was stood right there. He thought it was hilarious!

I didn't find out till the next day when one of my mates told me.

 

[jdnoth]

Threw up my dinner in a puddle, passed out in my dinner, woke up the next morning in a hospital in Luton with a tube in a very uncomfortable place.

There really is nothing worse than waking up in a hospital bed and slowly remembering all the retarded shit you did the night before.

My dad had to go pick me up too.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I came out of the closet to a friend too.
ffffuuuuuuu

 

[magicmonkeybars]

I wish I could remember..