You can't hit me, you're the woman!

[chozo_hybrid]

I agree with you in this.
It's horrible that men are too embarrassed due to stupid gender roles to report being abused.
The adverts just support that stereotype.

It's the exact same with rape too.

true. i have yet to hear of a full grown man that he was raped by a woman.

women are generally better at mental abuse though.

I know someone actually, he was beaten by two women then they had their way with him. It does happen, and it's not any nicer then when it happens to a woman.

It's like how they say if the man gets aroused by where he is touched then it isn't rape, getting aroused due to what someone does to you does not mean you want it. It's just the body reacting the way it does to the actions against it.

 

[Lavi]

Society views men as the strong silent emotionless type. "Victums of abuse?" says society, "HA!"

 

[Plurralbles]

I agree with you in this.
It's horrible that men are too embarrassed due to stupid gender roles to report being abused.
The adverts just support that stereotype.

It's the exact same with rape too.

yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at.

It's awesome how women claim so many rights and so much special treatment because of an extra X chromosome.

You show me a man who is sexually assaulted by a woman that looks absolutely horrifying, reports it, and gets laughed at and I'll show you a horse that fires lazers from its eyes and flies on clouds made of razor blades and heavy metal rock music.

You might be saying to yourself the latter will never happen, that is because the former won't either so I'm safe.

The reason people would laugh at a man, in theory, if he reported being raped by a woman, is we assume the woman in question is someone we'd all like to do.

The only time anything CLOSE to that has happened to my knowledge was to some high schoolers and only because their parents found out. Most of the time, at least when it is in the news, the statutory stuff is bollocks. (Don't get me wrong, sexually advancing on someone who doesn't understand is incredibly wrong, I'm just saying most popular news cases about it are bollocks)

I actually found one of those in my back yard. It was scary until I gave it a carrot but then it was fine.

Your ignorance is showing. You should probably zip your fly.

I'm apparently ignorant since I don't get your point.

I said your situation is entirely fabricated and your response is just to insult me?

Why the fuck did you add the part that the man is assaulted by a woman that looks absolutely horrifying? That's fucking retarded.

YOu could be raped by someone you found very attractive. It's not about that. It's about consent.

 

[Disaster Button]

Well, in my opinion, any guy beat up by his girlfriend is weak.

If somebodies beating on you, fight back. If its a women, all bets of not hitting a girl are off, and you show her that guy's are physically stronger.

I have heard of a guy or two being beaten up by there wives, and I just dont understand it, I have never been intimidated by a female. If you can't stick up for yourself, get out of the relationship...simple.

And for both genders, if you are being abused by your spouse or relation, and you don't get out of it, I think you're pathetic in general. Sorry, but these kinds of people need to grow a pair.

Its never as easy to "just get out" as you make it sound. There can be any number of reasons why people can't get out: children, emotional weakness, fear, lack of anywhere to go are just a few reasons why people can't just leave.

And to say men are physically stronger than women is a generalisation. Not all men are physically stronger than women, especially those afflicted with physical conditions.

So how are any of those reasons a compromise to abuse? With all of those, even kid's, an adult can survive just fine in the real world (hell my sister in law moved from England to Canada with her daughter from an emotionally abusive marriage, its called divorce...so did one of my aunts in an abusive relationship and both parties have fully developed and loved children). People live without a spouse with kids throughout the world...so I do not understand your argument. In my opinion they are still very pathetic ESPECIALLY if they keep their children in that enviroment. All your other choice show me no reason on how thats a compromise to abuse what-so-ever.

I guess its a generalisation. I mean their are males who have below average strength or are mentally handycapped. But an average man is going to develope more muscle mass...so my generalisation is not far off. Either way though, those individuals are weak. What, they dont have the mental or physicle fortitude to fight back, stick up for themselves, get help or leave...and they are somehow strong? No, they really arent.

Its not so much a compromise, its more like the person being so terrified or unable to get far enough a way or things like that which prevent a permanent escape.

People will sometimes stay if they have children because they might not think themself able to look after their child by themselves if they leave their partner due to no money and being emotionally weak after the abuse. So instead they stay and protect their child and endure the abuse so their child will still have a home, even if it is a bad one. Its barely the lesser of two evils.

Due to suffering abuse, or maybe a pre existing condition, people may lack the confidence, the will, the strength or the ability to actually stand up for themselves and leave. Deep down they may even believe they deserve the abuse and actually not want to leave.

They could also fear that if they can't get far enough away then their partner will find them and abuse them worse, whether this would actually happen or not is sort of irrelevant as the fear is still there. The one being abused may also fear that if they get out they will have no one to support them. Just because your sister got out to Canada doesn't mean that everyone suffering abuse will, I'm assuming your sister had a family to support her or had money and had the backing of the courts if she was able to divorce her partner. Not everyone has the same situation, and will more often than not lack any support system (familial or monetary) making them unable to leave the situation.

 

[Yeq]

Right...ok, where to start. With the hitting thing, you've got to consider that generally a woman is a lot weaker than a man. If a woman hits a man, she's unlikely to do much damage; vice versa and shit really hits the fan. Obviously, there is still the potential for abuse from women to men (somehow I think if I was going out with Chyna then she can pulp me without second thought), but we need to remember that in most cases, when (as is usual for domestic abuse) the environment is isolated from wider societal control, men have a massive physical power advantage, which in an abusive relationship translates to an actual one. Active reports of abuse are fairly rare; psychologically, it's really, really difficult to call for help for that sort of thing.

We've also been raised with a strongly masculine/feminine discourse in our lives. There's this concept that men should be able to look out for themselves no matter what, and that women need protecting, usually in a physical sense but also in an emotional one. I think both perspectives are seriously unfortunate result of how strongly we believe in the gender dichotomy and resulting gender roles. It means that when a man gets raped, he gets taken a lot less seriously than a woman. Emotional abuse is also taken less seriously, for both genders; a man should "man up and take it", and a woman should "quit her bitching and do her job for the family". It's really, really not pleasant.

Finally, I'm reading a lot of anger with feminism here. I'm a feminist. Yo. It's like a superpower. It doesn't mean that women are better than men, or that women should be paid the same and yet still keep special rights such as never being physically harmed even when it's the result of self defense. Basically, what it means is that women are people too, and that we shouldn't assume certain things about them just because they're women. It's feminism rather than genderism or whatever because the majority of gender-related inequalities - and I say this as a guy myself - favour men over women, so in order to resolve that, its more effective to start from a "feminist" perspective rather than masculinist or whatever. Any feminist worth their salt will tell you that, and if you actually meet a woman - and I can't say I have to this day, although I know plenty of feminists - who says she's a feminist and that therefore all men are worthless bastards who aren't worthy to lick her boots, tell her to go fuck herself on my behalf. That's not feminism. That's idiocy, and I don't think most of the feminist movement would have any respect for that position.

 

[AkJay]

This argument could go along with that of rape.
If a man rapes a woman, it's a horrible, horrible thing (which it is, I am in no way denying it)
But if a woman rapes a man everyone is all "hur der he must have liked it, derp"

 

[pffh]

It's bad that woman can be said to have "had it coming" but take responsibility for the choice of wearing what you wore! If I wore a "coalition forever" t-shirt to a conservative party in Canada and got a good yelling at and maybe hurt, yes it shouldn't have happened but it did and I have a brain to tell me it was going to happen!

The reason why majority of raped are man-on-woman is because, woman are societally allowed to cry out for help in them and men just have an easier time raping woman, simpler than that.

The clothing defense only makes sense if, for some hideously illogical (but frustratingly common) reason you think women are only dressing up to show off "what they've got" to men. If I wear a low-cut top, maybe I'm wearing it because it's a comfortable top. Same with a short skirt. The responsibility is not on a woman to wear clothing that isn't going to provoke a rape. it's on the man to NOT RAPE. It's not the same as wearing a shirt that provokes an argument (although, I'd personally argue, that it's on the offended person not to start the argument), because yelling at someone because you have a difference of opinion is not the same thing as a rape.

The reason why the majority of rapes are men-on-women is actually because of something called "Rape culture". I'd suggest you google it, but somehow I think even if you did you'd discount it.

They way you point out that rape culture is the main reason that the majority of reported rapes are men on women makes me think you don't fully understand what rape culture is.

Rape culture is a when someone thinks that it's okay for someone (male or female) to rape another person (male or female) because of the rapists looks or status.
Examples:
Hot girl rapes a man: Some people would say that he was lucky to have sex with her.
Male movie celebrity rapes a woman. Some people would say that she's lucky to have sex with a hot, rich celeb like him.

And this is wrong no matter if the rapist or the victim are male or female.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

Men are just better known to be physically abusive, women are more verbally abusive. Though women can be just as violent and abusive as any man could be.

You make a very valid point, also your avatar is somewhat hypnotic.

 

[Dahni]

I get the feeling that it's probably more likely that women are abusers than men.
Because domestic abuse isnt only physical.

While i'm not saying that men aren't capable of this, women are more prone to use absolute mindfuckery to mess men up. & I can tell you right now that I can think of several girls that I know, that use or have used a mild form of this to keep their boyfriends in line. Girls disguise it pretty well as love ("i'm only doing this because i love you" etc.) and guys don't notice. the guys that I'm aware of that have been abusive aren't always so great at hiding it.

 

[theultimateend]

I agree with you in this.
It's horrible that men are too embarrassed due to stupid gender roles to report being abused.
The adverts just support that stereotype.

It's the exact same with rape too.

yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at.

It's awesome how women claim so many rights and so much special treatment because of an extra X chromosome.

You show me a man who is sexually assaulted by a woman that looks absolutely horrifying, reports it, and gets laughed at and I'll show you a horse that fires lazers from its eyes and flies on clouds made of razor blades and heavy metal rock music.

You might be saying to yourself the latter will never happen, that is because the former won't either so I'm safe.

The reason people would laugh at a man, in theory, if he reported being raped by a woman, is we assume the woman in question is someone we'd all like to do.

The only time anything CLOSE to that has happened to my knowledge was to some high schoolers and only because their parents found out. Most of the time, at least when it is in the news, the statutory stuff is bollocks. (Don't get me wrong, sexually advancing on someone who doesn't understand is incredibly wrong, I'm just saying most popular news cases about it are bollocks)

I actually found one of those in my back yard. It was scary until I gave it a carrot but then it was fine.

Your ignorance is showing. You should probably zip your fly.

I'm apparently ignorant since I don't get your point.

I said your situation is entirely fabricated and your response is just to insult me?

Why the fuck did you add the part that the man is assaulted by a woman that looks absolutely horrifying? That's fucking retarded.

YOu could be raped by someone you found very attractive. It's not about that. It's about consent.

You said "yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at."

Well, had you read correctly. You'd see my point is that nobody would laugh if they weren't attractive.

Because that is the only time in my entire life I've heard "He was raped" and seen laughter ensue.

Specifically the statutory cases with those school teachers and the boys. The teachers were attractive and people thought it was funny because everyone knew the cases were bullshit.

So. The next time you insult someone, you might want to take a course in reading comprehension since apparently you fail miserably.

Likewise there hasn't been a reported case to my knowledge of any attractive women raping a man. Because by design the situation is almost impossible to line up. You'd have to get a devout celibate and a women with a fetish for celibate men to pull it off.

 

[Cmwissy]

I would not call it awesome.
I would call it a failure of feminism.
Instead of leveling the playing field, all it seems to have resulted in is for it to pendulum in the other direction.

Agreed so much - Whenever we bring new rights to a minority; (In this case the minority being feminists) They become the dominant ones as opposed to being 'equal'

 

[chozo_hybrid]

This argument could go along with that of rape.
If a man rapes a woman, it's a horrible, horrible thing (which it is, I am in no way denying it)
But if a woman rapes a man everyone is all "hur der he must have liked it, derp"

That's exactly it, I have a friend who had been beaten by two women and then raped as I stated in an earlier post and nobody took him seriously, he came out of that with a broken nose and arm as well.

So I doubt he liked it.

 

[Jinx_Dragon]

yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at.

It's awesome how women claim so many rights and so much special treatment because of an extra X chromosome.

Reminds me of a case in Australia about... 10+ years ago. A stripper was gang raped by a group of woman and he DID complain about it to the police. In their credit they followed through and the case went to court and the defendants: They argued that a male couldn't be raped! Now it didn't fly but the mentality was there, and still is in most of the world.

 

[Yoshemo]

At school, a girl slapped me for not giving her my mountain dew. I said "do it again and I'll hit you back." She said I wouldn't and slapped again, and I punched her in front of my teacher. The teacher said she had it coming and didn't get me in trouble C:

 

[BGH122]

Right...ok, where to start. With the hitting thing, you've got to consider that generally a woman is a lot weaker than a man. If a woman hits a man, she's unlikely to do much damage; vice versa and shit really hits the fan.

This is a 'No True Scotsman' fallacy: you're ad-hoc redefining the term 'hitting' between men and women in order to produce the conclusion.

We've also been raised with a strongly masculine/feminine discourse in our lives. There's this concept that men should be able to look out for themselves no matter what, and that women need protecting, usually in a physical sense but also in an emotional one. I think both perspectives are seriously unfortunate result of how strongly we believe in the gender dichotomy and resulting gender roles. It means that when a man gets raped, he gets taken a lot less seriously than a woman. Emotional abuse is also taken less seriously, for both genders; a man should "man up and take it", and a woman should "quit her bitching and do her job for the family". It's really, really not pleasant.

Agreed. Both male and female gender stereotypes are null and need to end.

For scientific proof that there's little to no gender difference please check out the 46-study meta analysis conducted by Hyde et al (2005) of the University of Wisconsin.

Finally, I'm reading a lot of anger with feminism here. I'm a feminist. Yo. It's like a superpower. It doesn't mean that women are better than men, or that women should be paid the same and yet still keep special rights such as never being physically harmed even when it's the result of self defense. Basically, what it means is that women are people too, and that we shouldn't assume certain things about them just because they're women. It's feminism rather than genderism or whatever because the majority of gender-related inequalities - and I say this as a guy myself - favour men over women, so in order to resolve that, its more effective to start from a "feminist" perspective rather than masculinist or whatever. Any feminist worth their salt will tell you that, and if you actually meet a woman - and I can't say I have to this day, although I know plenty of feminists - who says she's a feminist and that therefore all men are worthless bastards who aren't worthy to lick her boots, tell her to go fuck herself on my behalf. That's not feminism. That's idiocy, and I don't think most of the feminist movement would have any respect for that position.

Two problems here:

1) Feminism isn't a single thing and it's been sliding steadily away from an equality based position for a very long time. For instance, the 'Woman's Minister' in the UK has legally banned men, exclusively men, from suing for sex discrimination. Check out Christina Hoff Sommers for more info.

2) You simply presume that most discriminations are against women, but this thread alone states many serious discriminations against men. If you're going to state something as inflammatory as most discriminations are against women then please cite unbiased sources.

 

[ryuutchi]

They way you point out that rape culture is the main reason that the majority of reported rapes are men on women makes me think you don't fully understand what rape culture is.

Rape culture is a when someone thinks that it's okay for someone (male or female) to rape another person (male or female) because of the rapists looks or status.
Examples:
Hot girl rapes a man: Some people would say that he was lucky to have sex with her.
Male movie celebrity rapes a woman. Some people would say that she's lucky to have sex with a hot, rich celeb like him.

And this is wrong no matter if the rapist or the victim are male or female.

Again, I'll say "Not so much".

If you'd done even the most cursory of research, you'd learn that "[r]ape culture is a term used within women's studies and feminism, describing a culture in which rape and other sexual violence (usually against women) are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or encourage sexualized violence." (Wikipedia)

That is what I mean. Man-on-woman sexual violence is predominant because we live in a culture and society that promotes and condones it.

Although, I'm sure this will be dismissed as "feminist propaganda" or some such, I'll just leave these here in hopes that someone will find a use for them:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/this-is-what-rape-culture-looks-like/

No, seriously, I'm done now. :|

(I lie. One more.)

Indeed, that is very messed up logic. You're saying that a women will never have sex if she's drunk, unless forced? That's one of the most stupid things I've ever heard. Would you say the same thing if the person who was too intoxicated to remember was the man, instead of the woman?

No, I'm saying that if you are drugged/drunk/asleep/otherwise mentally incapacitated, you are in an altered state of being that means that you are not rational. You don't drive in those states of being because your rational control of yourself is minimized. Therefore, if someone sober (gender neutral) comes across another person who is drunk (also gender neutral), and said drunk person wants to have sex, it is up to the sober party to remember that someone who is drunk is technically mentally incapacitated and cannot consent. It's what we strange feminists sometimes call "date rape" and other times call "WTAF WERE YOU THINKING?"

That women who take advantage of men who are drunk are not often charged with rape the same way is a function of a culture that believes that men are voracious sex fiends who would never turn down sex and thus "cannot be raped". It's not true. Anyone sober having sex with anyone mentally incapacitated (due to drugs, alcohol, sleep, etc and so forth) is committing rape.

 

[Mordwyl]

I don't discriminate. If you're being an asshole, you've earned the imprint of my knuckles in your face.

 

[BGH122]

You said "yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at."

Well, had you read correctly. You'd see my point is that nobody would laugh if they weren't attractive.

Because that is the only time in my entire life I've heard "He was raped" and seen laughter ensue.

Specifically the statutory cases with those school teachers and the boys. The teachers were attractive and people thought it was funny because everyone knew the cases were bullshit.

So. The next time you insult someone, you might want to take a course in reading comprehension since apparently you fail miserably.

Likewise there hasn't been a reported case to my knowledge of any attractive women raping a man. Because by design the situation is almost impossible to line up. You'd have to get a devout celibate and a women with a fetish for celibate men to pull it off.

None of this makes any sense to me and it seems to have a lot of sexist presumptions. What about Ted Bundy? I think most people here would agree that he's attractive and, more importantly (to women (Searle et al (2010)), rich. Does that mean the women he raped weren't raped? Why not?

They way you point out that rape culture is the main reason that the majority of reported rapes are men on women makes me think you don't fully understand what rape culture is.

Rape culture is a when someone thinks that it's okay for someone (male or female) to rape another person (male or female) because of the rapists looks or status.
Examples:
Hot girl rapes a man: Some people would say that he was lucky to have sex with her.
Male movie celebrity rapes a woman. Some people would say that she's lucky to have sex with a hot, rich celeb like him.

And this is wrong no matter if the rapist or the victim are male or female.

Again, I'll say "Not so much".

If you'd done even the most cursory of research, you'd learn that "[r]ape culture is a term used within women's studies and feminism, describing a culture in which rape and other sexual violence (usually against women) are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or encourage sexualized violence." (Wikipedia)

That is what I mean. Man-on-woman sexual violence is predominant because we live in a culture and society that promotes and condones it.

Although, I'm sure this will be dismissed as "feminist propaganda" or some such, I'll just leave these here in hopes that someone will find a use for them:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/this-is-what-rape-culture-looks-like/

No, seriously, I'm done now. :|

You do realise that women's studies courses have been repeatedly criticised for lying and that this 'rape culture' shit just comes from women's studies course and feminism? Furthermore, the blogs to which you linked us are almost parodies of themselves they are so rabidly gender feminist.

Please do a better job of finding unbiased sources.