You can't hit me, you're the woman!

[Plurralbles]

I agree with you in this.
It's horrible that men are too embarrassed due to stupid gender roles to report being abused.
The adverts just support that stereotype.

It's the exact same with rape too.

yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at.

It's awesome how women claim so many rights and so much special treatment because of an extra X chromosome.

You show me a man who is sexually assaulted by a woman that looks absolutely horrifying, reports it, and gets laughed at and I'll show you a horse that fires lazers from its eyes and flies on clouds made of razor blades and heavy metal rock music.

You might be saying to yourself the latter will never happen, that is because the former won't either so I'm safe.

The reason people would laugh at a man, in theory, if he reported being raped by a woman, is we assume the woman in question is someone we'd all like to do.

The only time anything CLOSE to that has happened to my knowledge was to some high schoolers and only because their parents found out. Most of the time, at least when it is in the news, the statutory stuff is bollocks. (Don't get me wrong, sexually advancing on someone who doesn't understand is incredibly wrong, I'm just saying most popular news cases about it are bollocks)

I actually found one of those in my back yard. It was scary until I gave it a carrot but then it was fine.

Your ignorance is showing. You should probably zip your fly.

I'm apparently ignorant since I don't get your point.

I said your situation is entirely fabricated and your response is just to insult me?

Why the fuck did you add the part that the man is assaulted by a woman that looks absolutely horrifying? That's fucking retarded.

YOu could be raped by someone you found very attractive. It's not about that. It's about consent.

You said "yep. A man reporting rape will seriously get laughed at."

Well, had you read correctly. You'd see my point is that nobody would laugh if they weren't attractive.

Because that is the only time in my entire life I've heard "He was raped" and seen laughter ensue.

Specifically the statutory cases with those school teachers and the boys. The teachers were attractive and people thought it was funny because everyone knew the cases were bullshit.

So. The next time you insult someone, you might want to take a course in reading comprehension since apparently you fail miserably.

Likewise there hasn't been a reported case to my knowledge of any attractive women raping a man. Because by design the situation is almost impossible to line up. You'd have to get a devout celibate and a women with a fetish for celibate men to pull it off.

So you're getting all hot and bothered about something that's relative and subjective. Okay. No point in arguing then.

*edit*and you just got the reason what you were saying is complete bullshit from a guy above me so.... yay.

 

[Nurb]

Majority of women approve of violence against men, survey finds.

More than half of women questioned at a Glasgow university said they approved of wives hitting their husbands.

The Glasgow Caledonian students were among 6,500 women surveyed from 36 universities for an international study into attitudes on domestic violence.

Of the 200 women, 60% said it was acceptable for women to hit their husbands while 35% admitted assaulting their partner.

A total o More..f 8% admitted injuring them - the highest rate in the study.

The injured men suffered bruises, cuts or broken bones.

Among European students, only English women were more likely to have carried out assaults, with 41% admitting that they had punched or kicked their partners.

However those inflicting injury was less than in Scotland, at 5%.

Just under a quarter of those in Scotland admitted there were occasions when it would be acceptable for a husband to slap his wife.

Worldwide, more than 4,800 female students approved of assaulting their partner and 2,000 admitted to pushing, shoving, slapping, throwing objects and twisting their partner's arms or hair.

The findings, printed in the Sunday Times, will be published next month in the European Journal of Criminology.

'Bottom line'

Professor Murray Straus, co-author of the study, told the paper there was a need for better rehabilitation programmes for women with violent tendencies.

"This study raises questions about why there's so much violence between partners whether they're married, cohabiting or dating," he said.

"The bottom line is that we need make the same 'big deal' about violence by women as we do about men who behave violently."

In recent years, the Scottish Executive has spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on raising awareness of domestic abuse, including a helpline for victims which received more than 20,000 calls in 2005 - an increase of 38% on the previous year.

David Smith, honorary professor of criminology at Edinburgh university and editor of the European Journal of Criminology, said he found the results "surprising".

"The number of women who admit to assaulting men is interesting as it's well known that men are more violent than woman."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/5092100.stm

 

[Samcanuck]

Well, in my opinion, any guy beat up by his girlfriend is weak.

If somebodies beating on you, fight back. If its a women, all bets of not hitting a girl are off, and you show her that guy's are physically stronger.

I have heard of a guy or two being beaten up by there wives, and I just dont understand it, I have never been intimidated by a female. If you can't stick up for yourself, get out of the relationship...simple.

And for both genders, if you are being abused by your spouse or relation, and you don't get out of it, I think you're pathetic in general. Sorry, but these kinds of people need to grow a pair.

Its never as easy to "just get out" as you make it sound. There can be any number of reasons why people can't get out: children, emotional weakness, fear, lack of anywhere to go are just a few reasons why people can't just leave.

And to say men are physically stronger than women is a generalisation. Not all men are physically stronger than women, especially those afflicted with physical conditions.

So how are any of those reasons a compromise to abuse? With all of those, even kid's, an adult can survive just fine in the real world (hell my sister in law moved from England to Canada with her daughter from an emotionally abusive marriage, its called divorce...so did one of my aunts in an abusive relationship and both parties have fully developed and loved children). People live without a spouse with kids throughout the world...so I do not understand your argument. In my opinion they are still very pathetic ESPECIALLY if they keep their children in that enviroment. All your other choice show me no reason on how thats a compromise to abuse what-so-ever.

I guess its a generalisation. I mean their are males who have below average strength or are mentally handycapped. But an average man is going to develope more muscle mass...so my generalisation is not far off. Either way though, those individuals are weak. What, they dont have the mental or physicle fortitude to fight back, stick up for themselves, get help or leave...and they are somehow strong? No, they really arent.

Its not so much a compromise, its more like the person being so terrified or unable to get far enough a way or things like that which prevent a permanent escape.

People will sometimes stay if they have children because they might not think themself able to look after their child by themselves if they leave their partner due to no money and being emotionally weak after the abuse. So instead they stay and protect their child and endure the abuse so their child will still have a home, even if it is a bad one. Its barely the lesser of two evils.

Due to suffering abuse, or maybe a pre existing condition, people may lack the confidence, the will, the strength or the ability to actually stand up for themselves and leave. Deep down they may even believe they deserve the abuse and actually not want to leave.

They could also fear that if they can't get far enough away then their partner will find them and abuse them worse, whether this would actually happen or not is sort of irrelevant as the fear is still there. The one being abused may also fear that if they get out they will have no one to support them. Just because your sister got out to Canada doesn't mean that everyone suffering abuse will, I'm assuming your sister had a family to support her or had money and had the backing of the courts if she was able to divorce her partner. Not everyone has the same situation, and will more often than not lack any support system (familial or monetary) making them unable to leave the situation.

Look, I have never personally been in these situations. I guess I have an eye for seeing the forest for the sleeze. But I also know strong women who have gotten out of these situations. None of your arguments (espcecially the fear one) seem so large that they cannot be overcome in some way, shape or form. We live in a society that openly communicates the options to get out of an abusive situation. If a person can't take one step towards that for their (and possibly there childrens) wellbeing, to me, that is ignorant and very weak.

My sister in law did in fact have her families support (Back in Canada...not in England)...however she compromised on her own for full child custody, just as long as the ex didn't have to pay child support. The point is, its the real world, their are always other options even if its breaking down your own emotional barriers. Your opinion differs from mine, and you probably have some backing behind that, but I can't think of a situation in North America where their are no options to get out of an abusive reletionship that you got yourself into.

It just reaks of pathetic to me, especially if you allow your children to grow up in that enviroment. The question is not however if it is right or not. The question is in how things are perceived. And I feel the perception of weakness (especially in the case of a male) is accurate. Abuse is wrong, and just being submissive to it IS weakness.

 

[Dommyboy]

Because it's wrong to hit women, it's ok to hit men.

Yet women want equal rights?

 

[Disaster Button]

Right...ok, where to start. With the hitting thing, you've got to consider that generally a woman is a lot weaker than a man. If a woman hits a man, she's unlikely to do much damage; vice versa and shit really hits the fan. Obviously, there is still the potential for abuse from women to men (somehow I think if I was going out with Chyna then she can pulp me without second thought), but we need to remember that in most cases, when (as is usual for domestic abuse) the environment is isolated from wider societal control, men have a massive physical power advantage, which in an abusive relationship translates to an actual one. Active reports of abuse are fairly rare; psychologically, it's really, really difficult to call for help for that sort of thing.

We've also been raised with a strongly masculine/feminine discourse in our lives. There's this concept that men should be able to look out for themselves no matter what, and that women need protecting, usually in a physical sense but also in an emotional one. I think both perspectives are seriously unfortunate result of how strongly we believe in the gender dichotomy and resulting gender roles. It means that when a man gets raped, he gets taken a lot less seriously than a woman. Emotional abuse is also taken less seriously, for both genders; a man should "man up and take it", and a woman should "quit her bitching and do her job for the family". It's really, really not pleasant.

Finally, I'm reading a lot of anger with feminism here. I'm a feminist. Yo. It's like a superpower. It doesn't mean that women are better than men, or that women should be paid the same and yet still keep special rights such as never being physically harmed even when it's the result of self defense. Basically, what it means is that women are people too, and that we shouldn't assume certain things about them just because they're women. It's feminism rather than genderism or whatever because the majority of gender-related inequalities - and I say this as a guy myself - favour men over women, so in order to resolve that, its more effective to start from a "feminist" perspective rather than masculinist or whatever. Any feminist worth their salt will tell you that, and if you actually meet a woman - and I can't say I have to this day, although I know plenty of feminists - who says she's a feminist and that therefore all men are worthless bastards who aren't worthy to lick her boots, tell her to go fuck herself on my behalf. That's not feminism. That's idiocy, and I don't think most of the feminist movement would have any respect for that position.

Your first paragrpaih makes sense if you only consider punches. But domestic abuse isn't restricted to just punching. Women are just as capable as grabbing a plate and throwing it at the man's face, pushing him down the stairs or even making him run into her knife twelve times.

I totally agree with the rest of what you said though. Raising people on the belief that one gender needs more of one thing than another is just asking for some awful stuff to happen, especially when the majority of a generation is raised this way.

I'm actually a feminist too, at least that's what I call it for lack of a better word. I don't buy into the feminazi (extreme feminism that is extreme) ideology but I do believe women need to be seen more equally. Sadly this has resulted in women being portrayed as the dominant gender in many medias to the point where they are rediculing men and embarasing them. When an advert doing the same thing except with the roles reversed then it is seen as demeening to women which is rediculous.

 

[BGH122]

Majority of women approve of violence against men, survey finds.

More than half of women questioned at a Glasgow university said they approved of wives hitting their husbands.

The Glasgow Caledonian students were among 6,500 women surveyed from 36 universities for an international study into attitudes on domestic violence.

Of the 200 women, 60% said it was acceptable for women to hit their husbands while 35% admitted assaulting their partner.

A total o More..f 8% admitted injuring them - the highest rate in the study.

The injured men suffered bruises, cuts or broken bones.

Among European students, only English women were more likely to have carried out assaults, with 41% admitting that they had punched or kicked their partners.

However those inflicting injury was less than in Scotland, at 5%.

Just under a quarter of those in Scotland admitted there were occasions when it would be acceptable for a husband to slap his wife.

Worldwide, more than 4,800 female students approved of assaulting their partner and 2,000 admitted to pushing, shoving, slapping, throwing objects and twisting their partner's arms or hair.

The findings, printed in the Sunday Times, will be published next month in the European Journal of Criminology.

'Bottom line'

Professor Murray Straus, co-author of the study, told the paper there was a need for better rehabilitation programmes for women with violent tendencies.

"This study raises questions about why there's so much violence between partners whether they're married, cohabiting or dating," he said.

"The bottom line is that we need make the same 'big deal' about violence by women as we do about men who behave violently."

In recent years, the Scottish Executive has spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on raising awareness of domestic abuse, including a helpline for victims which received more than 20,000 calls in 2005 - an increase of 38% on the previous year.

David Smith, honorary professor of criminology at Edinburgh university and editor of the European Journal of Criminology, said he found the results "surprising".

"The number of women who admit to assaulting men is interesting as it's well known that men are more violent than woman."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/5092100.stm

This was interesting, thank you!

See, Ryuutchi, this is what I meant by an unbiased source: the BBC. Them I can trust, some rabid feminist blogger I cannot.

Coincidentally, is there a way to block a user on this forum?

 

[Dr. wonderful]

A woman cries abuse and shes a victim.

A man cries abuse and hes weak.

It gets worse when the one being abusive uses this stereotype to their advantage.

We called that double standards.

 

[pffh]

They way you point out that rape culture is the main reason that the majority of reported rapes are men on women makes me think you don't fully understand what rape culture is.

Rape culture is a when someone thinks that it's okay for someone (male or female) to rape another person (male or female) because of the rapists looks or status.
Examples:
Hot girl rapes a man: Some people would say that he was lucky to have sex with her.
Male movie celebrity rapes a woman. Some people would say that she's lucky to have sex with a hot, rich celeb like him.

And this is wrong no matter if the rapist or the victim are male or female.

Again, I'll say "Not so much".

If you'd done even the most cursory of research, you'd learn that "[r]ape culture is a term used within women's studies and feminism, describing a culture in which rape and other sexual violence (usually against women) are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or encourage sexualized violence." (Wikipedia)

That is what I mean. Man-on-woman sexual violence is predominant because we live in a culture and society that promotes and condones it.

Although, I'm sure this will be dismissed as "feminist propaganda" or some such, I'll just leave these here in hopes that someone will find a use for them:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/this-is-what-rape-culture-looks-like/

No, seriously, I'm done now. :|

I had read both the wikipedia article and the third link. In the third link the gender roles can easily be switched and it would still make a valid point. The 2nd link is a heavily biased source and it does not take into consideration NOT REPORTED cases of male rape. How many cases of male rape do you think go unreported because of the social stigma about them vs the cases that are reported compared to the same numbers for female rape.

Well according to the scientific sources (take note here and not just link to random bloggers) that BGH122 has been citing (and providing) the numbers are heavily skewed because of said stigma.

 

[CptPanda29]

Men can't fight back. Those are the rules, and nothing is going to change them.

 

[Sir Strange Of The House Lycan]

They way you point out that rape culture is the main reason that the majority of reported rapes are men on women makes me think you don't fully understand what rape culture is.

Rape culture is a when someone thinks that it's okay for someone (male or female) to rape another person (male or female) because of the rapists looks or status.
Examples:
Hot girl rapes a man: Some people would say that he was lucky to have sex with her.
Male movie celebrity rapes a woman. Some people would say that she's lucky to have sex with a hot, rich celeb like him.

And this is wrong no matter if the rapist or the victim are male or female.

Man-on-woman sexual violence is predominant because we live in a culture and society that promotes and condones it.

This statement is full of shit.
That's all I'm saying on the matter.

 

[pffh]

interesting stuff

This was interesting, thank you!

See, Ryuutchi, this is what I meant by an unbiased source: the BBC. Them I can trust, some rabid feminist blogger I cannot.

Coincidentally, is there a way to block a user on this forum?

Wish there were but sadly I haven't found a way. Coincidentally I think you'll be the first person on this site that I send a friend request to because I like your comments.

 

[BGH122]

I had read both the wikipedia article and the third link. In the third link the gender roles can easily be switched and it would still make a valid point. The 2nd link is a heavily biased source and it does not take into consideration NOT REPORTED cases of male rape. How many cases of male rape do you think go unreported because of the social stigma about them vs the cases that are reported compared to the same numbers for female rape.

Well according to the scientific sources (take note here and not just link to random bloggers) that BGH122 has been citing (and providing) the numbers are heavily skewed because of said stigma.

Unfortunately for the feminist, science is not on their side so they have to resort to biased rants.

Take a look at Penn and Teller's War on Porn [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDYZOaTaK2A] episode for the full hilarity of women's studies 'courses' (and that's a very, very liberal application of the word course).

interesting stuff

This was interesting, thank you!

See, Ryuutchi, this is what I meant by an unbiased source: the BBC. Them I can trust, some rabid feminist blogger I cannot.

Coincidentally, is there a way to block a user on this forum?

Wish there were but sadly I haven't found a way. Coincidentally I think you'll be the first person on this site that I send a friend request to because I like your comments.

Thank you! I'd be honoured to be your friend, you seem level headed and clever.

Although I'm sure we're both part of some phallocentric conspiracy to rape women and keep them down.

 

[The Heik]

A woman cries abuse and shes a victim.

A man cries abuse and hes weak.

However,

A man sleeps with two women and he's a legend.

A woman sleeps with two men and she's a whore.

That's generally based upon the biological factors. The instinctual job of a male is to propagate with as many females to ensure that his DNA lives on, hence why it is thought tht a man sleeping with women is a good thing. The female on the other hand after being impregnated must care for the offspring, as she is the only one who is fully capable. The female can only take care of limited amount of young or else risk the loss of all of them, hence sleeping with many males is considered bad.

It may not be a proper answer, but it's a biological one

OT: I totally agree. And I have to say that the male/female archetype should really be abolished if we're to get any fair representation in society.

 

[Disaster Button]

Well, in my opinion, any guy beat up by his girlfriend is weak.

If somebodies beating on you, fight back. If its a women, all bets of not hitting a girl are off, and you show her that guy's are physically stronger.

I have heard of a guy or two being beaten up by there wives, and I just dont understand it, I have never been intimidated by a female. If you can't stick up for yourself, get out of the relationship...simple.

And for both genders, if you are being abused by your spouse or relation, and you don't get out of it, I think you're pathetic in general. Sorry, but these kinds of people need to grow a pair.

Its never as easy to "just get out" as you make it sound. There can be any number of reasons why people can't get out: children, emotional weakness, fear, lack of anywhere to go are just a few reasons why people can't just leave.

And to say men are physically stronger than women is a generalisation. Not all men are physically stronger than women, especially those afflicted with physical conditions.

So how are any of those reasons a compromise to abuse? With all of those, even kid's, an adult can survive just fine in the real world (hell my sister in law moved from England to Canada with her daughter from an emotionally abusive marriage, its called divorce...so did one of my aunts in an abusive relationship and both parties have fully developed and loved children). People live without a spouse with kids throughout the world...so I do not understand your argument. In my opinion they are still very pathetic ESPECIALLY if they keep their children in that enviroment. All your other choice show me no reason on how thats a compromise to abuse what-so-ever.

I guess its a generalisation. I mean their are males who have below average strength or are mentally handycapped. But an average man is going to develope more muscle mass...so my generalisation is not far off. Either way though, those individuals are weak. What, they dont have the mental or physicle fortitude to fight back, stick up for themselves, get help or leave...and they are somehow strong? No, they really arent.

Its not so much a compromise, its more like the person being so terrified or unable to get far enough a way or things like that which prevent a permanent escape.

People will sometimes stay if they have children because they might not think themself able to look after their child by themselves if they leave their partner due to no money and being emotionally weak after the abuse. So instead they stay and protect their child and endure the abuse so their child will still have a home, even if it is a bad one. Its barely the lesser of two evils.

Due to suffering abuse, or maybe a pre existing condition, people may lack the confidence, the will, the strength or the ability to actually stand up for themselves and leave. Deep down they may even believe they deserve the abuse and actually not want to leave.

They could also fear that if they can't get far enough away then their partner will find them and abuse them worse, whether this would actually happen or not is sort of irrelevant as the fear is still there. The one being abused may also fear that if they get out they will have no one to support them. Just because your sister got out to Canada doesn't mean that everyone suffering abuse will, I'm assuming your sister had a family to support her or had money and had the backing of the courts if she was able to divorce her partner. Not everyone has the same situation, and will more often than not lack any support system (familial or monetary) making them unable to leave the situation.

Look, I have never personally been in these situations. I guess I have an eye for seeing the forest for the sleeze. But I also know strong women who have gotten out of these situations. None of your arguments (espcecially the fear one) seem so large that they cannot be overcome in some way, shape or form. We live in a society that openly communicates the options to get out of an abusive situation. If a person can't take one step towards that for their (and possibly there childrens) wellbeing, to me, that is ignorant and very weak.

My sister in law did in fact have her families support (Back in Canada...not in England)...however she compromised on her own for full child custody, just as long as the ex didn't have to pay child support. The point is, its the real world, their are always other options even if its breaking down your own emotional barriers. Your opinion differs from mine, and you probably have some backing behind that, but I can't think of a situation in North America where their are no options to get out of an abusive reletionship that you got yourself into.

It just reaks of pathetic to me, especially if you allow your children to grow up in that enviroment. The question is not however if it is right or not. The question is in how things are perceived. And I feel the perception of weakness (especially in the case of a male) is accurate. Abuse is wrong, and just being submissive to it IS weakness.

Well I'm not getting into an argument about OH MAH GAH YOUR OPINION IS WRONG because that'd be pretty pointless because we clearly have very different opinions on whether or not being abused makes you weak or not. Not letting this devolve into a pointless argument would probably be a good thing for this thread at this point.

 

[Roxas1359]

interesting stuff

This was interesting, thank you!

See, Ryuutchi, this is what I meant by an unbiased source: the BBC. Them I can trust, some rabid feminist blogger I cannot.

Coincidentally, is there a way to block a user on this forum?

Wish there were but sadly I haven't found a way. Coincidentally I think you'll be the first person on this site that I send a friend request to because I like your comments.

I thought that there was. Isn't it in the your profile by were you edit it?

 

[BGH122]

interesting stuff

This was interesting, thank you!

See, Ryuutchi, this is what I meant by an unbiased source: the BBC. Them I can trust, some rabid feminist blogger I cannot.

Coincidentally, is there a way to block a user on this forum?

Wish there were but sadly I haven't found a way. Coincidentally I think you'll be the first person on this site that I send a friend request to because I like your comments.

I thought that there was. Isn't it in the your profile by were you edit it?

I'll go check, one second.

EDIT: Well done! You're right: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/add_ignore

Ryuutchi becomes my first /ignore.

 

[JMV]

It doesn't make them weak getting beat, it makes them weak not doing something about it. This applies to both men and women, but since women are perceived as being more frail, they aren't really blamed for being spineless.

 

[Bobkat1252]

This is topic that's bothered me for sometime. Last semester,a girl in my english class wrote a thesis on Domestic Abuse and highlighted how very skewed the perception on it really is and it unnerved me to hear those statistics about female on male abuse.

As for the whole never hit a girl thing, my philosophy is never strike first in any case, no matter what gender your aggressor is, if you hit first, people automaically blame you. I have no qualms about hitting a girl if she struck at me first. If she's my equal then there shouldn't be a problem with me doing so.

 

[Roxas1359]

interesting stuff

This was interesting, thank you!

See, Ryuutchi, this is what I meant by an unbiased source: the BBC. Them I can trust, some rabid feminist blogger I cannot.

Coincidentally, is there a way to block a user on this forum?

Wish there were but sadly I haven't found a way. Coincidentally I think you'll be the first person on this site that I send a friend request to because I like your comments.

I thought that there was. Isn't it in the your profile by were you edit it?

I'll go check, one second.

EDIT: Well done! You're right: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/add_ignore

Ryuutchi becomes my first /ignore.

Okay you found it, for some reason I couldn't find it and I thought I was going crazy.