You wake up in a Utopian future...

[Skorpyo]

I am Skorpyo. I kill bad people.

Where is the nearest Weapons dealer?

 

[Sarcasm Spasm]

Um... Subject X 0052, I guess

 

[Protocol95]

"Hi! I'm a monument to all your sins!"

 

[Fusioanomaly]

The Doctor, why yes just "The Doctor"

 

[LittleChone]

I'm not sure how I would answer that. I guess I would say my "human" name first, then refer to myself as Subject X 0052.
My first response would have to be "What the hell happened to me and who are you?"
As soon as they filled me in, I would have to ask if there was any internet in this future.
Hopefully, there would be.

 

[Nexus4]

I am Fisto! the prostitute robot!

 

[Sacman]

What is your name?
Me: I stab you death!!!
*Stabs to death*
or alternatively...
Me: My name is Dante...
*Falls off roof*

 

[Mariakitten]

Howl, my name is Howl. Now I just have to remember where I parked that moving castle...

 

[lithiumvocals]

It would happen like this:
"What is your name?"

"Fuck you. Got a joint?"

"Uhh..."

"I'm Mark Hendrix Knopfler III, and I still don't see that joint!"

"What is a.. (gets punched) *oof*"

"Fine. I need to recharge, anyway. Do you guys still use fossil fuels or have you discovered crystallic fusion?"

*I walk away"

*They stand there*

 

[stonethered]

Canute Ellme.

 

[Adventurer2626]

My name is Victor. For I am the conqueror of worlds. Give me no reason to take yours, lest you provoke my wrath. I'm just kidding *chuckle*, but go ahead and call me Victor.

 

[LiftYourSkinnyFists]

My name is Brachiosaurus of the star ship enterprise.

 

[brunothepig]

Jesus.

'Cause nobody mess with dah Jesus!

Especially Kung Fu Action Jesus

I like the Family Guy version better. That's where the clips came from...
Me? brunothepig.
I'll insist everyone pronounces it as one word, but not just faster, and that they pronounce it with a lowercase b. Eventually I will be killed, reborn, and I'll pick a different name... Maybe.

 

[Kazyan]

I'd just give my human first name.

If given an option for a new name, Mercury.

 

[Palademon]

"Jonny"...
Just like everyday.

...Can I be a zompinja-bot?

 

[Dfskelleton]

"My name is Sam Fisher. I am a Splinter Cell *cue awesome music and title screen*"
"SANDER F*CKING COHEN!"
"Bond. James Bond."
"Xenu."
"Hi, I'm James. James Sunderland. *twitch*"
"You can call me... Roy."
"CATS. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US."
"LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!"
"Dalton. Take me to your watch outpost."

 

[Paksenarrion]

I am a meat popcicle.

...Multipass.

OT: My name is Robert Paulson.

Aliens: But you're femal-

MY NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON.

 

[Naheal]

Joking: "I am Error."

Seriously, though, I'd give my actual name. I don't care enough to come up with something witty. In fact, I probably wouldn't respond to anything else.