Wanna know how I got these scars?
*looks back at mum giving the evil eye*
I uh.. fell down.. yea.. off the stairs...
*looks back at mum giving the evil eye*
I uh.. fell down.. yea.. off the stairs...
"You want to know how i got these scars?" - Joker
- Thread starter Yassen
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Want to know how I got these scars? Well, there was this guy, see. He was having a bad day. So he decided to jump off a building! But it seemed his friends weren't too happy about that. They screamed their quaint little pleas and then he jumped. He fell through a glass case and landed right on a rail...cut himself in half...Hehe. Ha. HAHAHA. It was...absolutely hilarious. His friends didn't seem to see the funny side though. They grabbed me and started trying to beat that smile right off my face. I couldn't let that happen, could I? So I grabbed a piece of glass near their friend who had a bad day, opened wide, and...tugged a little. Then I felt that smile creeping back onto my face. But I seemed to be the only one smiling now! I looked up and saw all those friends frowning. All of his friends. So, I grabbed another piece of glass and decided to make some new happy friends! Hehehe..whoho..hahaha...Do you know who you remind me of?
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- ebay
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- Lets just say it isn't possible to get 98 hotdogs in your mouth at once...
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- I find 2 and half men way too funny
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- Never try to french kiss a shark.
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- call this number NOW!
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- nope, I'm out of answers. anyone else want a go?
- ebay
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- Lets just say it isn't possible to get 98 hotdogs in your mouth at once...
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- I find 2 and half men way too funny
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- Never try to french kiss a shark.
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- call this number NOW!
Wanna know how I got these scars?
- nope, I'm out of answers. anyone else want a go?
You wanna know how I got these scars? I was opening a tennis ball can with my mouth and then my dad just came up and cut me, it was so random.
I'm going to have to cite that as not my own, but College Humor's joke.
I'm going to have to cite that as not my own, but College Humor's joke.
"You want to know how I got these scars?...I cut my face with a knife..."
. . .
Actually that wasn't very interesting.
. . .
Actually that wasn't very interesting.
You want to know how I got these scars?
My plastic surgeon was an alcoholic...he was supposed to remove a nasty-looking tumor-like formation on my cheek.
His father had died, so he was especially drunk that day. When I saw him, he could barely stand upright; I wasn't stupid. I couldn't let this beer-bellied bastard cut me up.
So I tried to do it myself. With a kitchen knife.
Bad idea.
My plastic surgeon was an alcoholic...he was supposed to remove a nasty-looking tumor-like formation on my cheek.
His father had died, so he was especially drunk that day. When I saw him, he could barely stand upright; I wasn't stupid. I couldn't let this beer-bellied bastard cut me up.
So I tried to do it myself. With a kitchen knife.
Bad idea.
"Want to know how I got these scars?
When I was a boy--probably, *Licks lips annoyingly* six or seven, my father took me to the fair. He went to get us a soda, and I wandered off to find the man who sold balloons. He was in an odd place--in that little patch of darkness between the popcorn kiosk and the fortune-teller's tent. He...beckoned, to me...
'Come here, little boy...don't you want a balloon? I have red ones.'
I liked red, so I went to get one. He drew back. they were in his stall, he said, so I followed him.
The next hour passed in a blur of pain and mind-bending horror. He held me down and did things to me I still can't imagine are actually possible. When it was over, he pulled out of me, grinning widely, and smacked me for crying. Then he reached over, and picked up the pocket knife I'd got for my birthday--it had fallen out of my pocket while he buggered me--and said to me, 'stop bawling, little boy! Put a smile on that precious face! Come now, stop that! Why....*carving with each word* So....serious?' "
When I was a boy--probably, *Licks lips annoyingly* six or seven, my father took me to the fair. He went to get us a soda, and I wandered off to find the man who sold balloons. He was in an odd place--in that little patch of darkness between the popcorn kiosk and the fortune-teller's tent. He...beckoned, to me...
'Come here, little boy...don't you want a balloon? I have red ones.'
I liked red, so I went to get one. He drew back. they were in his stall, he said, so I followed him.
The next hour passed in a blur of pain and mind-bending horror. He held me down and did things to me I still can't imagine are actually possible. When it was over, he pulled out of me, grinning widely, and smacked me for crying. Then he reached over, and picked up the pocket knife I'd got for my birthday--it had fallen out of my pocket while he buggered me--and said to me, 'stop bawling, little boy! Put a smile on that precious face! Come now, stop that! Why....*carving with each word* So....serious?' "
When my mommy was 15...She got a little Crazzyzyzy, from daddy. I find out when im 12 that my dad knocked up my mommy when she was under the influence...destroyed me as a kid, but you see I coped. Anways, my mommy didn't know what to do, her mother was a religous zealot and abortions aren't allowed if your christian....I think....so she died to use the close hanger...She miracously hit me right on my face and put a smile on her womb. But my grandmother caught her an pulled it out, their was struggle. Thats why I don't have a smirk!
You wanna know how I got these scars?...My father...was Jackie Chan. And he would always come home from work and karate chop me...he didn't like me you see. So one day daddy comes home, and he says...something I can't understand his thick accent. And I said " what I can't understand you daddy". For...some reason daddy doesn't like that..not one bit. So he gets a Katana from the garage, and he says ' Did you like Rush Hour 3?" and I say " It was okay, but it was nothing compared the originals. Daddy really doesn't like that, so he strikes me with the katana, across the chest. I lost a lot of blood and went to the hospital. My mother divorced him, and that was that. But about these scars...lets just say, That's what I would do for a Klondike bar
You want to know how I got these scars? I stole one of Mr. T's chains. He was not very happy about it, and frankly, I'm never doing anything as collosally stupid as that again.
Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars?
Batman: WHURRSS HARRRVEEEHHHY
Joker: I'll make it quick, then. Grapefruit and a spork actually... I, uh, I really like grapefruit.
*Lengthy awkward silence*
Joker: So, anyway, about those friends of yours I'm going to blow up.
Batman: WHURRSS HARRRVEEEHHHY
Joker: I'll make it quick, then. Grapefruit and a spork actually... I, uh, I really like grapefruit.
*Lengthy awkward silence*
Joker: So, anyway, about those friends of yours I'm going to blow up.