Your Daughter's Date is Picking Her Up For The Prom....

[Xeros]

Ask for his address then cock the 12-gauge. "I wouldn't try anything if I were you".

 

[josetaco]

You guys got anything funny to say?

No. I'd never play a joke on anyone in that situation. Stuff like that is stressful and weird enough for young folks without some parent acting like a retarded smartass. Juvenile parents like that (and yes, I have met them) aren't fit to be parents at all.

I disagree. It's like a rite of passage thing, I had it done to me so I'm damn sure going to do it to him. Also, I remember what was on my mind when I was at that age and an intimate setting like a dance or something made it all the stronger.

"Rites of passage" like that are stupid. If you're going to give someone a "rite of passage" make it something meaningful, sensible and worthwhile, not some dumb-ass joke about going on a date that you should have grown out of the minute you decided that having children was an option for you. Also "my parents did it to me, so I get to do it to my kids" is no excuse for anything. Most child abusers were also abused when they were children but that doesn't make child abuse acceptable.

Of course kids are going to have sex or have whatever on their mind but acting like moron-out-of-an-American-high-school-movie-parent-101 is not going to help, it's probably if anything going to turn the kid against you. It'll make him or her much more likely to do things that they shouldn't without telling you, because they're scared that if they tell you stuff about their private lives you'll just be a twit and make more retarded idiot jokes about it instead of taking their concerns seriously. Being a kid is alienating enough, you should at least know that your parents are on-side instead of acting the dumbass.

jesus man calm down its only a joke

 

[hippykiller]

I'll point my shotgun at him and say "i swear to god if you try ANYTHING funny tonight i will shoot your tiny little clackers off"

 

[Jaranja]

Open the door and hold a gun up to him and pull the trigger. There's no ammo in it though.
So, I'd call up to my wife and say "You didn't even give me any bullets!"

Then I'd welcome him in and give him some tea.

HAHA, my kind of humor

Hah. Or if you're really into creeping him out say this:

"You better not try anything with my girl, because I'll be checking down there later"

 

[Actual]

Sit him down and say

"Now we need to discuss precautions before you leave."

Hand him a large transparent plastic case with a 3 inch hypodermic syringe inside.

"If you come into contact with her saliva you have 2 minutes and 30 seconds to inject this into your heart, any longer than that and you won't be able to. Aim between the ribs and stab hard. Good luck."

Hopefully that will have the desired effect. Though my daughter may kill me when word gets around at school.

 

[Gaderael]

Well, I already have my plans for the day I find out my fiance is pregnant and it's a girl. I'm going out and buying a rocking chair to be placed next to the front door, and a shot-gun. No joke. Anyone who's going to date my future daughter better show me he's got the guts to face something like that to date her.

 

[GrinningManiac]

I'd be chatting to him whilst she got ready upstairs and I'd say:

"Heh, you know? You're the first guy she's dated since she gave up the whole Whoring shubang.

Oh, what?! You didn't know about that? Well, I'm sorry you heard it from me first. But yeah, she was a whore. Nothing big, just to pay for the whole...y'know...*mimes smoking drugs*"

He'd be freaked or disgusted by her for the rewst of the evening.

I take the dogs for a walk, drink some port and read a book

Best. Evening. In. Ever

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

You guys got anything funny to say?

No. I'd never play a joke on anyone in that situation. Stuff like that is stressful and weird enough for young folks without some parent acting like a retarded smartass. Juvenile parents like that (and yes, I have met them) aren't fit to be parents at all.

I awaited the morality correct post in a topic designed to be entertaining. Nonetheless parents cannot have a sense of humor? There is not a man alive with a reasonably functioning brain who would believe his date's father is psychopathic lunatic with a prison record. Additionally the majority of posts are intended to be exaggerations.

 

[Xojins]

Give him some water dosed with LSD. At least he would have a good night.

 

[Actual]

Give him some water dosed with LSD. At least he would have a good night.

Oooh I liek this one. Is it bromine that removes your sex drive? I would give him that, even if it's not the element I'm thinking of it probably won't kill him.....

 

[DRTJR]

Show him my tank and say he'll be target practice if she's not home by 11:30, then tell them both to have a good time

 

[Simriel]

My daughter? I have a daughter? This isn't one of those Random Frequent Flier Dent things is it? I should never have made that time vortex...

 

[El Poncho]

I will try to like him, that must be the worst thing for them her dad trying to be friends with her date.

 

[Space Cowgirl]

I actually had the chance to do this when some guy turned up to date my younger niece, when they were both 17. He was alone with me for a few minutes, and he turned to me and laughed and said "Thank god her dad's not here, or it'd be time for the third degree, huh?"

I smiled and said "That'd be my job. Now I'm not gonna threaten you or pretend I've got a gun or anything, kid, but do you have any younger family you love?"

"Yeah. I got a baby sister, she's 14."

"And what would you do if some deadbeat douchebag came and took her on a date, and fucked her?"

He puffed up, all manly "I'd fucking KILL him!"

"Right," I replied. "Then you know how I feel."

He brought her back home at an early time, and reports were he was a total gentleman all night. They're still dating three years later and he never so much as kissed her for the first several months.

Sir, I bow to your intelligence. I may have to try this with my future daughter.

 

[Macgyvercas]

One of these:

1) Ask him what an autopsy is. If he doesn't know, explain it to him and then say "You touch my daughter, and you'll get one". If he knows, skip the explaining part.

2) Be sharpening a machette in the kitchen

3) Be cleaning a 45-70 caliber rifle in plain sight.

 

[Caliostro]

talking about how we would mess with the poor bastard whos taking out our daughter.

Why? Are you so insecure you'd need to go threaten a small kid for kicks?

"Have fun, use protection."

 

[Tairan]

start runing at him with a chainsaw and a hocky mask on, If he runs chase him in the car untill hes out of breath.if he doesnt id let him have sex with her when the come back