Your first Order as God Emperor.

[Baby Eater]

and replace all Fedoras with Top Hats.

I love you O_O

 

[LordWalter]

Congragulations! You are now the Emperor of a Empire numbering in the Quadrillions! You have a cult dedicated to you, an army numbering in the trillions, near infinite resources, and ultra high tech technology! Now what is your first command!?

Make me not Undead.

 

[Bassman_2]

Everyone will go buy some fries from Checkers and a cheeseburger from Fuddruckers. They'll have to pay with their own money so I can enjoy it.

 

[eatenbyagrue]

My first words, upon coronation:

WHERE ARE MY ARMY OF SPACE MARINES?

Then, when I finally have my army, I'll pretty much start conquering the universe for the lulz.

 

[DJ Lord Destructocon]

To call for a broadcast to the entire empire and inform every subject that is living within our borders:

"THE GAME"

 

[sagacious]

Congragulations! You are now the Emperor of a Empire numbering in the Quadrillions! You have a cult dedicated to you, an army numbering in the trillions, near infinite resources, and ultra high tech technology! Now what is your first command!?

"you peasant, Fetch me a more comfortable throne. With a back massager. And two cupholders."

 

[Uberjoe19]

To call for a broadcast to the entire empire and inform every subject that is living within our borders:

"THE GAME"

Insert indignant response here.

 

[Dogstile]

Cake for the cake god!

 

[I'mANinja]

BURN THE WITCHES, PURGE THE UNCLEAN, KILL THE XENOS, duh

 

[littlerob]

The floor is made of lava.

 

[TheTrojanBadger]

First, impose martial law and suspend Habeus Corpus. Have cameras set up every 50 feet in the streets and have anyone observed doing something retarded or douchey brought in to secret safe houses by my agents to have a "nice chat"(if person is stupid, put in secret death mines to mine precious metals for their master, if a total douche, execute). Put drinking age back to 18, legalize prostitution, gambling, weed, and concealed carry permits for anyone who passes background checks and safety tests. Change National Anthem to either Beethoven's 5th Symphony or possibly Black Fire Upon Us. Oh, and to keep populace supportive of me, make new holiday: Cake Day, where cake is offered for free at all bakeries.
Also, this:

Simple. Anyone that ever uses the phrase "I did it for teh lulz" as justification for anything gets fired out of a cannon into the sun, no questions asked.

 

[asinann]

Push the shiny red nuke button.

 

[00exmachina]

paint all the ships red, and the bombs yellow
and segway jousting

 

[Rickyvantof]

Get me a drink.
I'm thursty.

 

[carpathic]

Prima nocta? j/k

 

[Composer]

ask myself.....wtf just happened

 

[Buccura]

Ban all pundits from every political stance from every station so people can think for themselves again.

After I create grues that I control.

 

[Mosine]

Raise an army of krul to replace my pathetic army of trillions. I might even go as far to create a few Khali. I would then wage war on the rest of the world.

Hmmmm have you been reading The Night Angel trilogy by Brent Weeks by any chance?

 

[TheStickman]

I'd Fire Mah Lazah! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Get someone to fetch me a sammich and a cold Dr. Pepper.

Recruit Cthulu to join my army.

Get coins with my face on them.

Give everyone the same name so I don't gots to remember it.

Get a giant stereo big enough to blow your ears out from 20 miles away.

Put in some metal.

Lay back and take a nap.