Your Problems

[xitel]

How should I react when I get made redundant tomorrow?

If they fire you, then start looking for a new job. If they don't, then start looking anyways, seeing as how your job security is gone now. Just hope that your seniority will hold some sway. Unless you're getting replaced by a machine.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

No, not the physical act of swallowing them. Hell, I can swallow them dry by this point. It's getting out of bed and popping them in my mouth that I'm talking about. Normally, I wake up, go "I should take my pills and head to class". Then I wake up half an hour later and go "I should take my pills and go to class, hopefully they'll kick in about halfway through." Then I wake up an hour later and go "Ah, screw it, I'm going back to bed".

Sounds more like an issue of immature time management. I got over that by placing the alarm across the room, setting the clock 10 minutes ahead while regarding it as "real time", and when it's a radio alarm I set it to some inane christian rock station. Usually my disgust over their rhetoric forces me to get up.

The pills, you may want to try taking them mid-day if your evening and morning schedules are chaotic. Just pick a time of day that is consistent... and anti-depressants don't necessarily "kick in". They usually take 2 weeks to reach balance with your system and to take full effect... so taking a pill late in the day is fine though not desirable.

 

[notyouraveragejoe]

For the "waking up problem" I have an alarm that goes off 2 hours earlier then it needs to so I have enough time to wake up. That is about the only answer I can give you since I have no idea about pills and stuff.

My own question: My parents are getting a divorce and my mum doesn't have much money. She had a pre-nup I think and my dad isn't giving her much money. I'm 14 should I be worrying about this or should I let it slide?

Also I am in a long-distance relationship. Are there any tips on how to keep one going? Is anyone else in one?

 

[Galletea]

My own question: My parents are getting a divorce and my mum doesn't have much money. She had a pre-nup I think and my dad isn't giving her much money. I'm 14 should I be worrying about this or should I let it slide?

Also I am in a long-distance relationship. Are there any tips on how to keep one going? Is anyone else in one?

As for the divorce issue, although it doesn't seem fair, there is nothing you can really do about the terms of the separation so you'll have to just let it slide, I think. Worrying about it won't do anyone any good, if you're living with your mother then just keep in mind her lack of funds, as she will feel guilty about not being able to give you what you want.

Next; long term relationships. The key is communication. As long as you keep talking to each other you can maintain it. Perhaps using web cams would be an idea, as then you'd at least got to see them once in a while.

 

[xitel]

For the "waking up problem" I have an alarm that goes off 2 hours earlier then it needs to so I have enough time to wake up. That is about the only answer I can give you since I have no idea about pills and stuff.

My own question: My parents are getting a divorce and my mum doesn't have much money. She had a pre-nup I think and my dad isn't giving her much money. I'm 14 should I be worrying about this or should I let it slide?

Also I am in a long-distance relationship. Are there any tips on how to keep one going? Is anyone else in one?

Well, I can't tell you about the divorce, my parents divorced when I was in 2nd grade so I don't remember much about it. As for the relationship, I'm in one right now, and my advice would be to just try to stick through it and hope it makes you stronger. Later in life you'll have to deal with long distance relationships at some point, so learning how to deal with one now is very useful.

No, not the physical act of swallowing them. Hell, I can swallow them dry by this point. It's getting out of bed and popping them in my mouth that I'm talking about. Normally, I wake up, go "I should take my pills and head to class". Then I wake up half an hour later and go "I should take my pills and go to class, hopefully they'll kick in about halfway through." Then I wake up an hour later and go "Ah, screw it, I'm going back to bed".

Sounds more like an issue of immature time management. I got over that by placing the alarm across the room, setting the clock 10 minutes ahead while regarding it as "real time", and when it's a radio alarm I set it to some inane christian rock station. Usually my disgust over their rhetoric forces me to get up.

The pills, you may want to try taking them mid-day if your evening and morning schedules are chaotic. Just pick a time of day that is consistent... and anti-depressants don't necessarily "kick in". They usually take 2 weeks to reach balance with your system and to take full effect... so taking a pill late in the day is fine though not desirable.

Adderall does "kick in", seeing as how it's not an anti-depressant, it's an anti ADHD medication. And that's where the problem comes from. I can't motivate myself to take them. My clock IS across the room, I do stand up and walk over to it, bu I still can't get out of bed completely. Oh well.

 

[notyouraveragejoe]

Thanks for the relationship advice, we do use webcam and we call every week. But the reason I worry about the divorce is that my Mum always complains about money/ shouts at my Dad over the phone about it when she thinks I'm out of earshot. I've been helping her through a lot (my uncle, her brother passed away a year ago) and with this things get... difficult.

On a completely separate note. I've been getting nightmares for a while now. I don't consider myself brave so when one of the scarier ones hit me I get freaked out and can't sleep. Anyone have any ideas on why I get these and how to stop them?

If your clock isn't waking you up properly then get the second and extremely annoying solution. Get the most pain in the ass alarm or if its a radio alarm then tune it to the crappiest music and see if being annoyed enough motivates you to get up. If you can't get motivated to get up, try waking up earlier and going for a jog. I walk/jog to my bus stop a half hour away and since I've done that waking up has gotten easier.

Speaking about sleep I gotta hit the hay. Night everyone.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

Adderall does "kick in", seeing as how it's not an anti-depressant, it's an anti ADHD medication. And that's where the problem comes from. I can't motivate myself to take them. My clock IS across the room, I do stand up and walk over to it, bu I still can't get out of bed completely. Oh well.

Well prozac is an anti-depressant so I don't get why we are discussing adderall. Either way, sleeping or imobility despite the consequences is a symptom of depression. You should probably be discussing this lack of motivation with your physician... you seem intent on characterizing this issue as "I just can't get up".

Well, if it is just that, then stop being lazy... if it is more complicated than that then you need to speak with a pyschologist about it, as it sounds like you already have one. Despite your excuses it's really a simple problem you just need to really want to fix it if you want it to change.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

On a completely separate note. I've been getting nightmares for a while now. I don't consider myself brave so when one of the scarier ones hit me I get freaked out and can't sleep. Anyone have any ideas on why I get these and how to stop them?

I know it sounds trivial but how late do you eat before you go to sleep? Usually people remember dreams or nightmares because they wake up in the middle of them... most dreams we have are not remembered at all since for the most part, they carry on without interruption.

Having an active digestive system while trying to sleep can result in waking up in the middle of the night be it a nightmare or dream. Other than that, you can try to figure out what other things might be waking you in the night... for me it tends to be the tv, food, babies, or my wife's knee in my spine...

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

My problem is that I have $200,000 in student loans. Recommendations?

You can try buying out your loan on credit on lower interest rate. My wife did that.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Heres a better idea, make your alarm clock a stereo with a subwoofer..Make it play a rap station really fucking loud. You WILL get up to beat the shit out it..

Option B: Have someone call you in the morning.. And won't shut up for 15-20 minutes so you get full-awake.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

I'm about to start working at my job Monday and here's my problem, what tie should I wear?

Keep it neutral... gray, brown, black, etc. I don't know what suit or outfit you are wearing but you'll get more bang for your buck with a neutral colored tie since it will match everything.

 

[xitel]

Adderall does "kick in", seeing as how it's not an anti-depressant, it's an anti ADHD medication. And that's where the problem comes from. I can't motivate myself to take them. My clock IS across the room, I do stand up and walk over to it, bu I still can't get out of bed completely. Oh well.

Well prozac is an anti-depressant so I don't get why we are discussing adderall. Either way, sleeping or imobility despite the consequences is a symptom of depression. You should probably be discussing this lack of motivation with your physician... you seem intent on characterizing this issue as "I just can't get up".

Well, if it is just that, then stop being lazy... if it is more complicated than that then you need to speak with a pyschologist about it, as it sounds like you already have one. Despite your excuses it's really a simple problem you just need to really want to fix it if you want it to change.

Oh, it is just lazy. Like I said, it's a lack of motivation. I tried anti-depressants (Welbutrin) and it didn't help. And it's hard to stop being lazy.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

Oh, it is just lazy. Like I said, it's a lack of motivation. I tried anti-depressants (Welbutrin) and it didn't help. And it's hard to stop being lazy.

I tend to be less lazy when I'm doing something I am passionate about or when I tie an objective to people I care about. I am less likely to let things fail or suffer when my friends or family are the ones who are stake... for example I was never motivated enough to produce and direct films so I ended up attaching myself with a co-director who was insanely motivated and production driven.

Symbiotic professional relationships like that can help. In college, I was aware of how much money it was costing my mom so I wasn't about to take more than 4 years for my BA... that association alone is what drove me to medicate myself for 2 years while working through my core curriculum courses.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

I'm about to start working at my job Monday and here's my problem, what tie should I wear?

Keep it neutral... gray, brown, black, etc. I don't know what suit or outfit you are wearing but you'll get more bang for your buck with a neutral colored tie since it will match everything.

Black only for suits with an overcoat. Black Pants+ White Button-up - A black overcoat just looks weird.

Khaki-coloured pants+White Button up+ Red Tie is good if you don't need to really dress-up.

 

[xitel]

Oh, it is just lazy. Like I said, it's a lack of motivation. I tried anti-depressants (Welbutrin) and it didn't help. And it's hard to stop being lazy.

I tend to be less lazy when I'm doing something I am passionate about or when I tie an objective to people I care about. I am less likely to let things fail or suffer when my friends or family are the ones who are stake... for example I was never motivated enough to produce and direct films so I ended up attaching myself with a co-director who was insanely motivated and production driven.

Symbiotic professional relationships like that can help. In college, I was aware of how much money it was costing my mom so I wasn't about to take more than 4 years for my BA... that association alone is what drove me to medicate myself for 2 years while working through my core curriculum courses.

Yeah, well, I have a scholarship I need to keep my GPA up for, and that's the main motivation. I'm not studying anything interesting or difficult, seeing as how I'm just covering Gen Eds. I figure it'll get easier once I get into the classes I want to be in.

 

[Corven]

This is a gaming related question, I'm trying to hook my 360 to the internet so I can use xbox live, here's my problem, we use a wireless connection in this house and I have a wireless usb adapter for my computer, is it possible to hook the 360 through a router into my computer and feed off of it's wireless connection?

And no I can not buy the xbox wireless adapter it's too expensive with my current budget.

I believe so, I hooked my 360 into my computer and got the wireless working, I just don't remember exactly how.

Okay, that's good, thanks.

 

[Galletea]

On a completely separate note. I've been getting nightmares for a while now. I don't consider myself brave so when one of the scarier ones hit me I get freaked out and can't sleep. Anyone have any ideas on why I get these and how to stop them?

If your clock isn't waking you up properly then get the second and extremely annoying solution. Get the most pain in the ass alarm or if its a radio alarm then tune it to the crappiest music and see if being annoyed enough motivates you to get up. If you can't get motivated to get up, try waking up earlier and going for a jog. I walk/jog to my bus stop a half hour away and since I've done that waking up has gotten easier.

I imagine your nightmares are related to your unease relating to your parents' divorce and the stress that has put you under. I don't think there is a way to prevent them completely, but make sure you have some time before you go to bed to clear your mind somewhat, or do something relaxing that doesn't involve much thinking, like listening to music.

Actually the going for a jog idea is pretty good. I think there are chemicals released when you exercise that make you feel happier, endorphins or something I'm not sure.

 

[xitel]

On a completely separate note. I've been getting nightmares for a while now. I don't consider myself brave so when one of the scarier ones hit me I get freaked out and can't sleep. Anyone have any ideas on why I get these and how to stop them?

Don't force yourself to sleep. If you lie there for 30 minutes and can't sleep, get up. Walk somewhere else, read a book or something for 15 minutes, then try again. If you go to sleep stressed you will be more likely to have nightmares. Anything you can do to wipe your stress out before you sleep is helpful.

EDIT: Try a late night snack. Just a little light nosh, nothing serious. It's very relaxing.

 

[xitel]

Alright folks, I've got a new problem. I used to love chatting with my girlfriend on IM, but after several weeks of doing nothing but talking to each other every waking moment, I've lost that feeling. Not that I don't like talking to her, but I just don't look forward to it anymore. It's like it's become routine. Recently we've tried cutting it back so that we only talk 2-3 hours a day, but I have yet to see how that will work out. What do you folks think?

 

[AntiAntagonist]

But the real me is apparently an aggressively irritable asshole, while the alter me is a bubbly hyper empathetic...thing. Anytime I drop it even a little people take notice, almost always in the bad way like "we will never be friend anymore."

I'm working on improving my personality at the moment.

I recommend choosing which parts of your natural personality are useful. After that figure out what other traits are congruent. Then you can slowly switch that way.

I recommend making a list of roles/actors/characters with traits (even if a character only has one similar trait it counts) that you don't mind acting like. Take a little from each persona and make it your own.

I don't emote much, so I do this exercise once in a while.