Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

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Talith

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May 7, 2008
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I may have posted here already but for the lols I will do so again.
The starting days of EVE are hard and unfriendly, especially for people who don't have someone else to guide them through it and give them a boost - of money, of gear, of someone to answer question, whatever.
This is a flaw in the game design. The game is designed to have a lot of things for you to do and a lot of things that you can specialize in, and to specialize in something to the competency of most other similiarly specialized players takes about a month. This isn't so bad once you have a number of things under your belt, but the first one is pretty bad.
Pile on top of that is the fact that it makes the most logical sense to train core and learning skills which always apply to everything and you get a system that, once you're in, moving around isnt hard... but getting in is frustrating and seems like it requires a seemingly endless list of things to do.
EVE is a game where your capability increases sharply as time goes on, more so than with other games. in City of Heroes, my one character can do maybe one thing, and if I want a different set of abilities I need a new character, which means I need to earn all of the "core" powers and level-based abilities again. In EVE, that's not a problem. You retain your core skills and simply add new ones. It's like getting up to lvl 50 in one class, and then just adding the abilities of another class onto it.

To those of you who say the game doesn't require tactics and that the combat is boring:
I am specialized for one of the single most one-dimensional ships in the game - the Zealot, an advanced cruiser. It has no flexibility, no capacity for electronic warfare gizmos, no utility hardpoints to fit anti-frigate defense, no drone bay. The ship exists for the sole purpose of shooting things with guns.
There are two levels of strategy involved here -
how do I choose to fit the ship / what role do I want to fill (do I want to go for maximum damage, or maximum range, or tracking, or a tank) / how do i figure out the best fit to fulfill the chosen role,
AND
once I enter combat, I have to make sure that I don't lose my ship by being aware of where people are in space, what they are likely to be fitting, can they hit me, and I have to try to maximize the effectiveness of my chosen role - i.e., if my chosen role is to take out small and lightly tanked ships, then I have to look for those and shoot them before helping the rest of the gang take out larger ships.
For extra fun, try do do this while actually being in charge of the fleet (calling primary targets, keeping track of enemy reinforcements and friendly intel), or fly a ship that can do many things at once, or many things.

I'm speaking 100% about PVP, of course. PVE is laughably easy if you have a clue and is another area of the game that needs improvement.
 

esserius

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Dec 11, 2008
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Never said it before, but all I can really do is agree with Yahtzee's assessment. The first six hours of the game is you sitting in a ship, and the next lifetime will be you... mining rocks. To make some money for some guy because that guy's important. I don't really need a virtual rock mining simulator. Better things to do and all that.
 

Muphin_Mann

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lordshinchan said:
Most of the people in this thread are retarded and so is this review for most parts.

In you review you said you did not join a corporation, am I correct? Not joining a corporation is like going solo on a Raid in world of warcraft, its just not as fun because you do not have your friends/guild mates to back you up and have fun with.

And what are you talking about how the battle system is the same as every other game? All games including F2F games are just swords and magic spells. At least in EVE you get to take control of enormous ships that shoot rockets and thermal lasers instead of swords.

Surggical_Scar said:
Hm, Yahtzee making an effort to find a new and inventive MMO? Is it raining custard? Have my legs suddenly turned into Belgian tourists?

Good God, it's for real.

Oh, wait, he's ripping the shit out of it. Thank goodness, I'll spit out those Asprin and keep typing.

Never even heard of EVE until today (no I didn't look at the ads, what do you take me for, someone with money?), and after today, well, I won't go near it without a flamethrower and a spray gun full of Holy Water. Never being much of an MMO fan myself, you pretty succinctly pointed out eveything that needed to be said:

Tries to be WoW.

Fails miserably.

Still murders your social life with a pickaxe.

Good man. Funny, angry and laced with bile. Not unlike my porn collection.
Check your facts first before you post without thinking.
Eve Online: May 6, 2003
World of Warcraft: November 23, 2004

And how does it murder your social life? You are able to level up even if you do not have your computer on, so if anything, it gives you more free time for your social life.

Edable Giraffe said:
I agree with everything said in that review, i downloaded EVE because it is advertised here, I played it for about 20 minutes and thought, 'what the hell is the point in this?'. Granted, I have never been a fan of MMOs but this one is beyond boring
Only 20 minutes? In the first 20 minutes of your birth did you learn your entire native language? Do you learn how to read, write, do mathematical equations? No you do not, you go to school for years and learn how to do all those things.

It is true that what he said in his review that EVE does have a very steep learning curve but EVE is a more, mature game that is not populated with children. But if you take the time to learn the game you will find in more enjoyable as there are a lot of guides for learning how to play EVE. And PvE can be a little dull but you do not have to do PvE to make money, you can do like become a Pirate. Its a fun but dangerous job and takes some skill but worth it if you learn how to do it right and maybe find some friends to do it with to make sure you don't get jumped. But other than PvE the PvP is incredible.

I would love to spend an hour or two quoting most of the idiotic post in this 21 page Thread but I will chose not to read all the post just as most of you chose not to take the time and try EVE.
Your right! Thats a perfect excuse to spend 20 more years learning a game! So, does Eve have graduate courses because you mentioned us needing school in RL.

Why would you play a game thats "mature" in that sort of sense? Accounting is also mature and lacking children but it isnt any fun.

And the griefing. Oh god. Im going to quote a wired magazine article.

Consider the case of the Avatar class Titan, flown by the Band of Brothers Guild in the massively multiplayer deep-space EVE Online. The vessel was far bigger and far deadlier than any other in the game. Kilometers in length and well over a million metric tons unloaded, it had never once been destroyed in combat. Only a handful of player alliances had ever acquired a Titan, and this one, in particular, had cost the players who bankrolled it in-game resources worth more than $10,000.

So, naturally, Commander Sesfan Qu'lah, chief executive of the GoonFleet Corporation and leader of the greater GoonSwarm Alliance ? better known outside EVE as Isaiah Houston, senior and medieval-history major at Penn State University ? led a Something Awful invasion force to attack and destroy it.

"EVE was designed to be a cold, hard, unforgiving world," explains EVE producer Sígurlina Ingvarsdóttir. It's this attitude that has made EVE uniquely congenial for Goons.

"The ability to inflict that huge amount of actual, real-life damage on someone is amazingly satisfying" says Houston. "The way that you win in EVE is you basically make life so miserable for someone else that they actually quit the game and don't come back."

And the only way to make someone that miserable is to destroy whatever virtual thing they've sunk the most real time, real money, and, above all, real emotion into. Find the player who's flying the biggest, baddest spaceship and paid for it with the proceeds of hundreds of hours mining asteroids, then blow that spaceship up. "That's his life investment right there," Houston says.

The Goons, on the other hand, fly cheap little frigates into battle, get blown up, go grab another ship, and jump back into the fight. Their motto: "We choke the guns of our enemies with our corpses." Some other players consider the tactic a less-than-sporting end run around a fair fight, still others call it an outright technical exploit, designed to lag the server so the enemy can't move in reinforcements
Thays right. An actual quote near the middle by a player with hundreds of people backing him who makes it his purpose to destroy things other people spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours getting. And the game rewards him.

So, to sum it up. The game is mature in the balancing checkbooks way while also being Mature in the same sense that GTA is Mature because you can kill anyone you meet. Only the avatars represent real time and money so your causing actual harm.

[sarcasm] Totally rocks, doesnt it? [/sarcasm]
 

Schap3lleCorby

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Sep 25, 2008
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hit the nail right on the head. Eve is the single worst game I've seen. After wasting about 4 hours getting through the tutorial I was "playing" which was sitting there waiting to see whether I'd win the automated fight with a pirate. pathetic game, gg for calling a spade a spade yahtzee
 

TimbukTurnip

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Jan 3, 2009
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I once tried the trial for eve online.
Not a very good game in my opinion.
The tutorial takes forever and you have to go through the whole 2 hours of it to know the minimum basics of the game. Seems like a game you have to spend a week learning how to play before you actually play it.
then when you play it it sucks.

anyone ever played Planetside? thats good; its an MMOFPS, the only one of its kind (or at least the first)
but its owned by SOE and is therefore slowly dieing due to neglection.
 

1337mokro

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Dec 24, 2008
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I tried the 14 day free trial and I have to say I was interested for about 1 hour. Than I got out of the character customization screen and quickly got bored by the huge, huge amount of controls that bewildered me and quickly drained all the fun out of the game.

To be honest I never like MMO's they somehow always seem to annoy me with pointless grind where you immediately lose your advantage over other players if you don't play every single day. Not saying they are bad games just saying they aren't made to amuse ME.

But Eve bored me the most why because in most MMO's you are close enough to the slavering monstrosity to hack at him but in Eve you shoot at things from 3000 km's away thus taking any directness away from the combat and making it even more boring seeing as you can't see projectiles fly at your enemy and knock out a big section of hull or any degradation at all.
 

Lonan

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Dec 27, 2008
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He said that space is the final frontier, and that everything on earth has been explored, but the truth is that only land has been explored. We know more about space then we know about the ocean.
 

Fronken

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May 10, 2008
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Lonan said:
He said that space is the final frontier, and that everything on earth has been explored, but the truth is that only land has been explored. We know more about space then we know about the ocean.
Not entirely true, yes, we have not explored the majority of the oceans on this planet, but you cant really compare the oceans of earth to the endless void that is space, its an entirely different scale.
 

Lonan

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Dec 27, 2008
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Fronken said:
Lonan said:
He said that space is the final frontier, and that everything on earth has been explored, but the truth is that only land has been explored. We know more about space then we know about the ocean.
Not entirely true, yes, we have not explored the majority of the oceans on this planet, but you cant really compare the oceans of earth to the endless void that is space, its an entirely different scale.
I don't entirely understand what your saying about comparing the oceans to space, but if you're saying that it's easier to explore space than it is the oceans, then I concur. However, it is a fact that we know more about space, or maybe it was just the moon, then we know about the oceans. Which makes sense considering to explore space you need to send a probe out there and look at it through a telescope. As for the oceans, I believe the ocean floor is 5000m down, and the water pressure goes like this: 10m, double sea level air pressure, 20m, triple sea level air pressure, and so on. Which obviously makes exploration really difficult, especially considering the visibility down there.
 

Fronken

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May 10, 2008
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Lonan said:
Fronken said:
Lonan said:
He said that space is the final frontier, and that everything on earth has been explored, but the truth is that only land has been explored. We know more about space then we know about the ocean.
Not entirely true, yes, we have not explored the majority of the oceans on this planet, but you cant really compare the oceans of earth to the endless void that is space, its an entirely different scale.
I don't entirely understand what your saying about comparing the oceans to space, but if you're saying that it's easier to explore space than it is the oceans, then I concur. However, it is a fact that we know more about space, or maybe it was just the moon, then we know about the oceans. Which makes sense considering to explore space you need to send a probe out there and look at it through a telescope. As for the oceans, I believe the ocean floor is 5000m down, and the water pressure goes like this: 10m, double sea level air pressure, 20m, triple sea level air pressure, and so on. Which obviously makes exploration really difficult, especially considering the visibility down there.
What i was saying is that we have explored a bigger % of our oceans than we have space, seeing as with the oceans we know approximately how much there is, as for space, its nothing more than speculations.

So exploring the oceans is easier than exploring space, seeing as there's no telling how big space is, and with the oceans we'll probably figure out how to withstand the enormous pressure sooner or later, but i doubt mankind will ever be able to explore all of space.
 

DarkBlood626

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Nov 9, 2008
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On impulse I recently downloaded the free trial for this game and now I know exactly what he meant by all of those statements at the moment I have to wait 10 hours to delete the accounts I possess at the moment because the 1st I fell into a performance paradox where I attempted to buy a better version of my gun but on installation I was grated by the no charge message so i attempted to switch back and again no charge unless a purchase a better power crystal thing( for the gun I all ready had ) where as I have no money because I purchased a rocket launcher which I couldn?t fit because of the awesomeness level thing mentioned in the review, Which I cant sell it for some reason I tried to purchase the better weapon because I keep getting killed on a mission so I created a new account where I learned from my mistakes and got to the same mission but after I logged of one time the mission no longer is listed and I cant progress any more I could blame the unintuitive interface as mentioned or my lack of experience of MMO?s or a combination
 

jessica1032

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Feb 25, 2009
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Loved the review, and one of the best things about it in my opinion is that I had an advertisment for EVE online above the video the whole time.
 

lizards

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Jan 20, 2009
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ok from what ive heard about this game im going to try it

only time ive ever tried an mmo and im going to see if i can tolerate it