Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?

[Vet2501]

It's the same everywhere, the result is Scotlands ridiculously high tenn pregnancy rate. My first girlfriend is now on her 3rd child, that god I got out of that one.

I would much rather wait for someone I had feelings for, the sex is so much better, than some random (although I have made some drunken mistakes in the past).

 

[Mechsoap]

i think your right with the point you should wait for the right one instead of ending up with a jackass thats completely mean to you

 

[ploppytheman]

Early sex is bad, but having only one partner in your whole life is also biologically and psychologically wrong. The main thing about sex is that you shouldn't regret it had happened.

How is it wrong? If you have a stable family with 2 good parents who love each other and you then its good. If they both realize that marriage and commitment is a big thing and important and overcome their desires in order to have a good family how is that bad? If anything its the best circumstances for raising children.

 

[Nomanslander]

Well, the way I see it, around the age 15-17 it begins to become very important that you manage some sort of relationship with girls either sexual or not, because once you pass 20 it gets harder and harder to do so.

You see there's this thing called arrested development which can refer to many different conditions, but one in particular is when a person loses the chance to develop certain social skills that will be important later on in life.

Another words, if you don't learn how to be in a relationship now, it's going to be hard as hell learning how to be in one later, and you might just end up being that 35 year old dude depressed and alone in your messy studio department with 50 gigs of porn on your PC and a leaning towards misogyny...0o

Oh, and No! I'm not trying to sound like an asshole about this, I'm dead serious...=/

 

[f0re1gn]

Early sex is bad, but having only one partner in your whole life is also biologically and psychologically wrong. The main thing about sex is that you shouldn't regret it had happened.

How is it wrong? If you have a stable family with 2 good parents who love each other and you then its good. If they both realize that marriage and commitment is a big thing and important and overcome their desires in order to have a good family how is that bad? If anything its the best circumstances for raising children.

I'm not talking about cheating. That is bad. I'm talking about all the "having sex before marriage is bad" thing. Quite often people are disappointed with their first time and that's understandable. That's why you shouldn't have sex with some random bloke/chick when you first see him. Having sex in a relationship is a good thing and when (usually) girls say "no sex 'til you marry me" if I were the guy I'd just stand up and leave because that's just utter bullshit, beg my pardon. When two people want to be close to each other, nothing should stop them. And it doesn't matter that maybe in a year or two they'll break up (maybe of course they won't - who knows) which quite often happens when you're 16-17. I think sex at this age is good with someone who you trust and who you know for sure won't betray you in a week or a month.

 

[Revolutionary]

ever heard the expression "better than sex"....speaks volumes of social constructed veiws about sexual activity

 

[jonnosferatu]

I don't see anything wrong with being chaste until you find someone you feel you love, but I also want people to drop the taboo surrounding sex and start being mature about it. Our culture - at least that in the United States - doesn't consider sex something worth being open about, and this has done more to contribute to damage done by child molesters and sex-related disorders than any number of actual problems or people will.

There's obviously going to be an unspoken pressure if it's out in the open like this, but then again, the only people I personally know who consider sex in general in any way significant are the people who haven't had it. We all attach considerable significance to sex with someone you romantically care about, but none of us look at the act itself as in any way worthy of the pressure that motivated the TC to make this thread.

That said, I actively encourage people to find someone they like - not someone they love, or think they love, but someone nice, preferably with some experience, with whom there is no chance of any love-falling - and just have a good first time. I don't think sex is really worth it before college, but others disagree with me there. If this suggestion is resisted, no big deal, it's a personal choice and there's nothing wrong with making it.

EDIT: I'd also like to take this opportunity to say how high my eyebrows are rising over some of the elitist sexual conservatives in this thread.

FURTHER NOTE: Also note that I don't think "slut" should have a negative connotation. If a woman likes having sex, let her have sex. It's fun. It feels nice. It's sad that we as a culture have yet to embrace these things.

 

[thahat]

sex drive
------------- = OUTCOME
willing/needing to wait for the right person

if outcome is less the 1, you will want/need to wait.
my personal reason (wall of lines so hidden for your convenience):

Spoiler

for me, its dead simple. i have enormous amounts of testosterone but also an ego the size of georgia so i WILL wait.
as short as possible for my girlfriend to be ready and willing. but i wont pressure her.(she already knows my views on this, it would be pointless to push the issue, she would only get mad/sad and push back.., take this as an advice of you ever get one/already have one, the girl decides on the speed, always, unfortunately XD ) love her for it partially though ( it does wonders for your patience)

 

[thahat]

Return question: Why the hell do people CARE about "virginity" and "first time" in this day and age?

virginity is bullocks, but the first time really having sex still has some ground to it,
for it is something you will remember. and with whomever you will be in X amounts of years afterwards, you will always remember the girl who was your first. all the better if its the same girl you will still be with in all those years.

 

[Tharwen]

... Teenagers are promiscuous because the more they fuck the better they get at it. Everyone has that bad experience (at some point) but the trick is figuring out why and not letting it happen again.

Also, "love" doesn't really exist...

Most kids are told by the TV that they should want sex so they do.

Isn't that a little oversimplified? Sure, most of pop culture is about how great sex is, but its not like they're saying, "HEY, YOU THEIR, GO FUCK THAT GIRL/GUY."

Well they sort of are... look at the American Pie films. The whole premise behind it is:

Person X has had lots of sex. He is cool.

Person Y has not. He is not cool.

Person Y must endeavour throughout the film to have lots of sex, and thus become cool.

Even if they aren't literally saying 'You should have sex', they still give that message.

 

[ploppytheman]

Early sex is bad, but having only one partner in your whole life is also biologically and psychologically wrong. The main thing about sex is that you shouldn't regret it had happened.

How is it wrong? If you have a stable family with 2 good parents who love each other and you then its good. If they both realize that marriage and commitment is a big thing and important and overcome their desires in order to have a good family how is that bad? If anything its the best circumstances for raising children.

I'm not talking about cheating. That is bad. I'm talking about all the "having sex before marriage is bad" thing. Quite often people are disappointed with their first time and that's understandable. That's why you shouldn't have sex with some random bloke/chick when you first see him. Having sex in a relationship is a good thing and when (usually) girls say "no sex 'til you marry me" if I were the guy I'd just stand up and leave because that's just utter bullshit, beg my pardon. When two people want to be close to each other, nothing should stop them. And it doesn't matter that maybe in a year or two they'll break up (maybe of course they won't - who knows) which quite often happens when you're 16-17. I think sex at this age is good with someone who you trust and who you know for sure won't betray you in a week or a month.

Having sex before marriage dilutes marriage into just another relationship. I refuse to even consider dating girls who have messed around because I think its disgusting. Who wants some slut who will sleep with anyone? Who knows what they might have. And even if they don't have anything its still disgusting and she might get pregnant or something stupid. Kids are too immature for sex, they fall in love all the time. If you are in love then get married, or else your just in lust like an animal.

 

[DazZ.]

I'm interested in how your sex ended horribly.

I think you will be in the minority, teenagers are curious beings who want to try everything. Sex included, especially since they are told not to by some religions and people.

ironic , my perents didnt care, and where i was raised nobody really cared... and after fucking up a lot in one place i moved, i learnt and i moved on... also i lost my *v* plates to someone i didnt care for while i was at a party so thats one regret but eh, we all have them? regrets not one night stands

Wouldn't say that is ironic at all.

But my parents didn't care, my mother had me when I was 16 and we're not religious at all and I lost mine when I was young like most people around here.

I wasn't speaking from experience, a general theory mostly, but there are obviously loads of reasons people could be interested in sex. The taboo factor being just one of them.

 

[Sayvara]

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

Why?

Ok, it didn't work out for you and you want to be in love.

Fine... it's your choice so go for it. If anyone else gives you grief for it, give them the finger. End of story.

/S

 

[SeniorDingDong]

[...]
[...]
Another words, if you don't learn how to be in a relationship now, it's going to be hard as hell learning how to be in one later, and you might just end up being that 35 year old dude depressed and alone in your messy studio department with 50 gigs of porn on your PC and a leaning towards misogyny...0o

Oh, and No! I'm not trying to sound like an asshole about this, I'm dead serious...=/

I think that is realy a growing problem for this and the following generation. Personaly, sadly, my youth went pretty fucked up - wasnt even my fault, family matters - and now, recovering at the age of 25, even I would not go out with my former self. I were somewhere between escape from reality in videogames and serious depressions, shown in my old taste of music and clothing.

However, maybe to this day, I am only physicly attracted to women, and I never fell seriously in love with one. I am not a macho, but mostly I think "nice ass, but please shut up and no, I dont dance". It was quite a loose - loose situation. I was too fucked up, but didnt care for them either.

You are totaly right when you are saying learning it later is much harder then with 16 or even younger. I made some "nice progress" the last two years, but I wish I could have done that stuff much earlier. The media and many people around you do realy make you feel incomplete.

You know, I used to know a girl from Russia that had one of the most awesome bodies I have ever seen in RL. Any you know what ? Her orthodox roots are still so strong, that she is totaly okay with "no sex before marriage". And I am very sure, that she has a happier life and is going to have a better and stronger relationship than all the people I know that trap from one failed to the next in a scarily fast rythm.

 

[f0re1gn]

Early sex is bad, but having only one partner in your whole life is also biologically and psychologically wrong. The main thing about sex is that you shouldn't regret it had happened.

How is it wrong? If you have a stable family with 2 good parents who love each other and you then its good. If they both realize that marriage and commitment is a big thing and important and overcome their desires in order to have a good family how is that bad? If anything its the best circumstances for raising children.

I'm not talking about cheating. That is bad. I'm talking about all the "having sex before marriage is bad" thing. Quite often people are disappointed with their first time and that's understandable. That's why you shouldn't have sex with some random bloke/chick when you first see him. Having sex in a relationship is a good thing and when (usually) girls say "no sex 'til you marry me" if I were the guy I'd just stand up and leave because that's just utter bullshit, beg my pardon. When two people want to be close to each other, nothing should stop them. And it doesn't matter that maybe in a year or two they'll break up (maybe of course they won't - who knows) which quite often happens when you're 16-17. I think sex at this age is good with someone who you trust and who you know for sure won't betray you in a week or a month.

Having sex before marriage dilutes marriage into just another relationship. I refuse to even consider dating girls who have messed around because I think its disgusting. Who wants some slut who will sleep with anyone? Who knows what they might have. And even if they don't have anything its still disgusting and she might get pregnant or something stupid. Kids are too immature for sex, they fall in love all the time. If you are in love then get married, or else your just in lust like an animal.

People who have had sex aren't sluts, they're just Human. Someone smart once said that ignoring lust is like ignoring that you're human. All people feel, we're all animals, just able to control our feelings. It is the people's choice to live their lives the way they want it and I'm not going to argue about How people should live. I have my own problems to attend to. But the fact that sex is a part of life and if a girl has had sex it doesn't make her a whore. If she acts like one and sleeps with every other guy, then she is. But if she's had a stable relationship for a year or two and then the guy dumped her - does that make her a slut? Or if the person left the country, died or w/e could have happened. No. Sex and love are different things and that's what I'm trying to say, actually.

Writing posts makes me understand what I actually think and that's quite cool ^.^

 

[pirateninj4]

Lol. Teenagers have been having sex like this since before we were all born, and will continue to do so. It's just more in your face now because it's not as taboo. Don't worry though, mine was with a long term g/f and we waited for it. It wasn't awkward and the sentiment between us helped make it more affirming I suppose. I say wait till it's with someone you feel is important to you.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I had sex at 17. It was a bad time in the back of a Chevy Metro. Probably shouldn't have done it but you couldn't have told me that at the time. In fact, I probably would have assumed you were some sort of crazy person.

The real problem is that no sexual interaction will ever be as exciting as that very first time. And when you quickly find that that initial experience was with someone you will grow to hate with an intensity barely matched by a thousand burning suns, you realize that this potentially beautiful experience is forever associated with someone you utterly despise.

 

[Legend of J]

Sex is overhyped ive had better wanks lol