Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?
- Thread starter Julianking93
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Biological imperitive I'd say, this is the way things have been for a very long time. Granted, some people have less of a sex drive than others (like everything, it can vary) but for most normal people, guys in paticular, it's an overpowering urge that affects everything.Julianking93 said:
Truthfully I don't think the media makes people (especially young boys) "randy", rather the media, social aspects, etc... have come about because of it. I'm one of those people who believes in distributing birth control and condoms for free in high school, along with making sex education mandatory (not something that can be opted out of by parents). I am also fairly open minded when it comes to teenagers having sex with other teenagers (but not with adults) this is part of growing up, and learning about life in my opinion.
One thing to also consider is that social engineering has been around for a while. Dealing with these impulses has been one of the challenges of human society for a very long time. This is why I feel most religions and codes of conduct include morality all about controlling and limiting one's sex drive (the exact nature of the limits can vary). I think that society moving away from those contraints is part of what your noticing. In part because nations like the US have developed a social order where most of the behaviors religious codes of conduct were designed to regulate can be dealt with and policed without an outright ban.
Just letting you know, that study is bullshit. The average teenager lies about losing their virginity from 15-17.Julianking93 said:
Personally, I don't care to much either. I am not going to go out and brag that I am still a virgin, but I am not going to hide it.
The thing that gets me though, is that you want to wait to have sex with a person you love. That confuses me. I hope to God that it happens before I find a girl I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I find sex more as a lustful event, rather than a love thing. (I do view lust as different then love.)
But the teenagers lying about losing their virginity does piss me off. I have a friend who tries to bring up some BS story about him having a threesome his first time. I seriously wanna smack him everytime he says that.
Sex is what holds relationships together, and it's possible to have fuck buddies too. As long as you're sensible and don't knock anyone up, it's all gravy.
I think there is a lot of peer pressure but I think it's important to get virginity out of the way ASAP so you're not totally inexperienced when you find someone you actually care about - could be a deal breaker if your first time is 3 seconds long.
I think there is a lot of peer pressure but I think it's important to get virginity out of the way ASAP so you're not totally inexperienced when you find someone you actually care about - could be a deal breaker if your first time is 3 seconds long.
I used to feel the same way. Then hormones, and curiosity about the experience got the best of me. I'm not a typical "horn dog" but I do have my moments where I fall into the majority of which you speak. But as I get older, a part of me leans towards the minority but a part of me still wants to be the majority. It's not awkward that you're this way, it's different for everyone.
I've been sexually involved with people I liked and people I didn't particularly like, and I felt mildly disgusted after the latter. They weren't bad-looking or anything, it just felt like a very empty experience compared to sex with people who I really liked. Maybe that's just me, though.elvor0 said:
This, and on the second part of the quote (the 'After Reading' part), Really?Julianking93 said:
18 and Virgin, proud of the fact (damned be the Trope 'A Man is not a Virgin!') but do people really go and do the deed at 15, 16, 17 years old?
That's still a kid!
It's all hormones. Since humans never really lived beyond their 20s until recently you had to have sex as much as you can unless you died. Nowadays there's not much point to it. I know people not much older than myself who are married with kids, and others who have rarely been in a relationship.
It is, like many things in life, a quirk of biology.
It is, like many things in life, a quirk of biology.
Best thing to do is find someone you have an attraction to but won't fall in love with too quickly - that way, if it goes tits-up (no pun intended) then you have something to fall back on rather than letting it destroy you.
I lost mine just after turning 15 with a sort-of-girlfriend and although the relationship ended, we remained good friends because we had been able to have sex responsibly and maturely (sort of).
And yes Gunlocker, the standard is 14-17 these days (at least where I'm from - South East UK). Although that being said, it's much 'easier' to have sex nowadays at a young age :/
I lost mine just after turning 15 with a sort-of-girlfriend and although the relationship ended, we remained good friends because we had been able to have sex responsibly and maturely (sort of).
And yes Gunlocker, the standard is 14-17 these days (at least where I'm from - South East UK). Although that being said, it's much 'easier' to have sex nowadays at a young age :/
I'd say, because it's something like the Holy Grail of things to do, is what makes it popular. If you're a kid of 15 and you say "I've had sex", then you're bad-ass, you know?
I don't really know what I think on the issue, from my point of view. Ideally it would be good to only have it with someone who you love and who feels the same way about you, but it's not horrible to have it just for fun with someone, either.
I don't really know what I think on the issue, from my point of view. Ideally it would be good to only have it with someone who you love and who feels the same way about you, but it's not horrible to have it just for fun with someone, either.
Virginity is just an unnecessary buildup of anxiety and expectations. Id say you better just get it out of the way.
Sure it will be bad and embarrassing but I prefer it to being crap in bed when someone I actually have feelings for arrives (because not many women like the idea of having to "train their man").
Sure it will be bad and embarrassing but I prefer it to being crap in bed when someone I actually have feelings for arrives (because not many women like the idea of having to "train their man").
Societies perception. Especially among friends. Besides, it is entertaining and feels great. People percieve virginity as a bad thing...a lack of social status is an example (atleast in highschool as a guy that seemed to be the case). Having sex was a right of passage, aswell was having a girlfriend. I mean, it could very well be different for everybody, but if you are going into this conversation with the views expressed in the topic...it's probably because that is a strategy that you feel works best due to failing in other ways. However, if women fawned all over you, you would probably see things differently and take the easiest way to obtain pleasure. Don't ask me how thats done though, I had to work my ass off to get girls.
I'm 17 and most of my college mates are sexually active. It might seem unlikley but it is true.Tdc2182 said:
I found sex to be like Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop. And with the hypersexualization of our youth, that pop is happening earlier and earlier for teenagers.
Then again, rates of both teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases have been dropping steadily since 1991 in America at least, with a brief uptick during the moralistic abstinence-only Christian Bush years. So maybe there's something to be said in favor of following our biological imperative and making it an essential part of growing up.
Then again, rates of both teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases have been dropping steadily since 1991 in America at least, with a brief uptick during the moralistic abstinence-only Christian Bush years. So maybe there's something to be said in favor of following our biological imperative and making it an essential part of growing up.
Sex is a biological function.
Emotions have nothing to do with it.
Unless you want them to(which is perfectly fine).
Emotions have nothing to do with it.
Unless you want them to(which is perfectly fine).