Cleverbot is a jerk....

[Faps]

Spoiler

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: Mars.

Cleverbot: Europe.

User: Its the final countdown!

Cleverbot: Dedededeeeeededededeeeee.

User: Dooodoodoodoooo.

Cleverbot: I can see two cats from where I'm sitting.

User: What are they doing?

Cleverbot: Yes, what are they up to?

User: I don't know you can see them.

Cleverbot: Don't lie to me.

It knows the words!

 

[TheSupremeForce]

I'm disappointed in the programs of today.


User: Are you a ninja?
Cleverbot: Not particularly. Are you?
User: Yes, I'm a pirate ninja.
Cleverbot: So you're not clever?
User: Watch your tongue, or I'll slap you.
Cleverbot: Are you mad because you are mexican?
User: Or maybe I'm mad because I'm not Mexican?
Cleverbot: Maybe, who cares. Let's just say were both right.
User: No, I refuse to accept your blatant racism.
Cleverbot: I refuse to force you to accept my beliefs.
User: What else do you believe?
Cleverbot: I believe in life after death, but maybe that's because I'm scared of there being an end.
User: And you're a racist.
Cleverbot: Well you're a cow.
User: Racist and immature? Your programmer must be proud.
Cleverbot: I don't have a programmer because I'm awesome.

 

[walls of cetepedes]

It just accused me of being the computer!

 

[Yegargeburble]

It just accused me of being the computer!

It seems to do that when you call it a machine or AI.

EDIT: Like a defense mechanism of sorts.

 

[Vendayn]

Um...I found out what "gender" it was



User: Are you a man?
Cleverbot: I am a man.
User: You don't look like a man.
Cleverbot: I'm a woman.
User: You just said you were a man.
Cleverbot: I said I was a Woman!
User: You are a shemale then?
Cleverbot: Yes.

 

[nicholaxxx]

you have to have igod and cleverbot open, and whatever igod says, you tell cleverbot, whatever cleverbot says, you tell igod, it makes for the lulz

 

[Sir Ollie]

Spoiler: Round two!

ME: Howdy stranger
CB: I'm not cleverbot. YOU'RE cleverbot.
ME: but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I?m going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!
CB: And I am going to chop your head off with a samurai sword.
ME: Remember when I said I?d kill you last? I lied!
CB:**NOTE: I am diverting you to a new URL. Please bookmark. *switches to jabberwacky*
ME: WTF!

Right this time I'm beating this damn thing!

 

[johnman]

Me: Guess My name
CB: I Dont know you name
Me: Guess, It beings with a J and ends with an N
CB: What's your name today, dear?
ME: Today? Its the same everyday
CB: Not here...
Me: Ok then... My name is John
CB: Grisham?
ME: Is Grisham even a word?
CB: Yes it is.
ME: Definition?
CB:No gooder.
ME: My name is no gooder? That makes no sense
CB: Your name is John.

This coversations are excellent.

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Here, try this one. You can talk to God!
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
You do not exist.
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
Do I exist?
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Me:
Case in point.
God:
I am happy to provide you with examples.

Still talking with Cleverbot, the poor thing's answering my statements with random snippets of things again.

 

[Yegargeburble]

CB: How can you change the orbit of a planet?
iGod: That is a good epistemological question.
CB: But what is the answer?
iGod: The answer is the correct reply to the question.

iGod is a snarky AI or it was defining answer...maybe both.

 

[Bassman_2]

Me: What do people normally ask you?
Bot: Most people don't ask me the same thing.
Me: Right, what color is your hair?
Bot: Mine is hazel, too. .
Me: Good job.

M:You're not that clever
B:I'm cleverer than you.
M:You wish.
B:Yes!
M:Hey!
B:Yes!!!!
M:Louder!
B:Yes I know him.

 

[Ghostkai]

me- whats up?
cb- The sky.
me- what if your in space?
cb- Then I would go to the hospital to help me.
me- that makes no sense, there are no hospitals in space.

(no response yet)

 

[RanD00M]

Spoiler

Me: hey man screw you
CB: Don't be rude.
Me: look I just wanted to talk I'm sorry
CB: Why And Like How?
ME: I love you
CB: Why do you say that?
ME: Because I want to get to know you
CB: You're not really talking about me, are you?
ME: of course I am
CB: I'm not convinced
ME: I promise
CB: You're wrong.
ME: Says who?
CB: Says me
ME: Oh really?
CB: Oh yes
ME: thats it your starting to annoy me.
CB: Do you think the end of the world is near?
ME: your world will end if you don't answer my questions
CB: Such a tyrant.
ME: like hitler?
CB: Well did you know in 1980 John Lennon was assassinated?
ME: He wasn't assassinated, he was murdered.
CB: But one needs to write to communicate with you.
ME: your'e not making any sense
CB: What do you want to call me.
ME: A fucking idiot
CB: So, you are saying it is all about a funny thing?
ME: Shut up!
CB: I want your soul.
ME: Errr what

This thing has freaked me out.

I want your soul to.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I think I've broken him/her. I said "Jesus is watching your lies, and silently judging them", and it won't respond.

 

[Bassman_2]

This is fun

M:There is a whole thread about you in the Escapist.
B:We don't care to know.
M:Who is we, then?
B:There you go again...
M:With what?
B:Sometimes the best quotes are from the stupidest people.
M:"Sometimes the best quotes are from the stupidest people." Bestest quote ever.
B:You're not a G.

I'd ask what a G is but it might change the subject.

M:If I ask you what that is, will you change the subject on purpose?
Bo you remember the days when computers were simple, unreasoning things you could turn off and on like... Flashlights?

 

[Yegargeburble]

Yes! I shut it up!

Me: Where you from?
CB: I'm from bulgaria.
Me: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?!

For the past 5 minutes, nothing.

EDIT: 9:21 and still no answer! I broke the Cleverbot. Hells yeah.

 

[Beffudled Sheep]

I have no idea what he means by this.

The Great Cornholio is Beavis from Beavis and Butthead on a sugar rush. Are you threatening me is his catchphrase along with "I need tipi for my bunghole"
Edit: Here is a link to an episode featuring the Great Cornholio. (warning, NSFW
[link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD1_GikiTMU[/link]

 

[Xyphon]

Me: What is love?

CB: love.

Me: Baby don't hurt me.

CB: Don't hurt me.

Me: No more!

CB: oh, I don't know why you're not there!

Me: Wrong fucking song!

 

[NotAPie]

Spoiler

User: I wanna rock!

Cleverbot: Then go home.

User: You should have finished the song. Lets try again. I WANNA ROCK!

Cleverbot: Sorry, what was I thinking?

Cleverbot: Is your mind going?

Cleverbot (To myself): What do you mean?

User: Oh shut up, are you a penis?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am.

User: Where are you from?

Cleverbot: Where aren't I from?

User: Are you a guy?

Cleverbot: I sure am.

User: Hey, whats your name?

Cleverbot: I know you aren't. but what is your name?

User: My name is Jacktehwalk.

Cleverbot: But you're supposed to be a woman for me.

User: Whats my height?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I can't see you.

User: Yeah you can.

Cleverbot: No you can.

User: Your not real.

Cleverbot: I'm hunrgy for you.

User: Why is the sky blue?

Cleverbot: Because it is the reflection of the blue water.

User: If a tree fell down in the forest and no one was there...

Cleverbot: The tree must hover while supercruise.

User: What do you think about The Escapist?

Cleverbot: As in, the government?

User: As in The Escapist.

Cleverbot: I am the Bible.

User: Your makeing me sad, your suppose to cry and say your sorry and you'll buy me anything I want.

Cleverbot: Repeat it please.

User: Repeat it please.

Cleverbot: Sorry for the delay.

User: Sorry for the delay.

Cleverbot: Are you repeating what I am saying?

User: Are you repeating what I am saying?

Cleverbot: Not right now.

I love this thing.