Fun ways to answer the phone

[elfshiree]

"Jimmy It's about time you called me back! My parents will be here any minute and you still need to dispose of the dead bodies!"

"KKK headquarters how may we help you?"

 

[shadyh8er]

"for whom does this bell toll?"

ahaha it's from a book somewhere.

That's great! And it's a Hemingway book by the way.

OT: "Kang's Dry-Cleaning, less starch more stiff." (from True Crime: Streets of LA.)

 

[FoolKiller]

"I'm trying to defuse a bomb, what do you want? Wha- Great, now The south East of England has blown up. I hope you're happy."

Yes, yes I am. I'm in Canada so the southeast of England doesn't concern me.

Personally, I try to sell the telemarketer something or flirt.

If it is the newspaper sales then I ask them if its a prank. If it is Frank calling because its not a funny prank when you make fun me for being blind/illiterate.

 

[theincurabletragedy]

"for whom does this bell toll?"

ahaha it's from a book somewhere.

That's great! And it's a Hemingway book by the way.

OT: "Kang's Dry-Cleaning, less starch more stiff." (from True Crime: Streets of LA.)

I was actually referring to a character in a book I read who answered the phone with that line. I think it was one of the Ramona Quimby books. >_>

 

[Mr. Gency]

Suicide hotline. How would you like us to kill you today?

 

[theincurabletragedy]

I also once answered a mid-CoD call from my ex with "hican't...fuck off Germans!...talkrightnow... takingoutaPanzer... callbackinten".

 

[rokkolpo]

i usually go Y'ello.

which is kinda weird because i'm not english...i guess.

 

[Joeshmoe5]

as Jackie chan's juncle from jackie chan adventures

 

[Sigel]

"I want my fucking sweater back, give me back my fucking red sweater, I know you have it!"
You really have to sell it though, put some real conviction in your voice. The results are awesome and well worth it.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

"jelly Jigglers male strippers, you name it we jiggle it, may I take your order?" Some other Escapist said that (whom I don't know) so I can't take credit.

 

[Funkbucket]

Just yell high pitch.

 

[Vaewyn]

Jims Escort services, all our girls are out right now, would you like to make an appoinment?

 

[The Eggplant]

(For best effect, attempt to replicate Ian McKellen's "intense" voice from this particular scene.)
"Is it secret? Is it safe?"

Alternately,

"Hello, how can you help me?" Tends to throw your average telescum for a loop.

 

[thethingthatlurks]

This thread made me laugh, thanks guys!

So...I've always wanted to try this (especially with a telemarketer), but I am without phone atm: "We are Anonymous. We are Legion"

 

[Skobvs]

Road-kill grill: You kill em we grill em..

Serious question this, do you know where this originates from? Because I've said it, you've said it and many others have said it, it can't just be coincidence.

I just heard it off the Simpsons... Long time ago... It has left its mark on my mind

 

[Krion_Vark]

City Morgue

but then you take it a step further to "City Morgue you stab'em we slab'em."

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Engine Room! -in big loud voice
Complaints Department? -in whatever accent you so desire

And when telemarketers ring -

"The Salvation Department, you say? I'm sorry, I am a charity myself. Did you want to donate to my running costs.. No? Well, thank you for calling...."

 

[Miumaru]

"Mike's House of Meat, whats your beef?"
"Mike's Vampire Crematorium. You stake em, we bake em."
"Salaam Alaykum"
"I thought I told you never to call me on this number."
"Is this a secure line?"

Among many others...

Wow...I would just burst out laughing if I got a answer like that while calling someone, even if legit.

 

[direkiller]

Road-kill grill: You kill em we grill em..

Serious question this, do you know where this originates from? Because I've said it, you've said it and many others have said it, it can't just be coincidence.

it was a t-shirt from i forget were
my sisters even had a menu with thing like pothole possum


carry on like your interested then start panicking saying your pet,wife,you is having babbies and start asking them questions on what to do