Gaming headlines from an ALTERNATE DIMENSION!

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is reported to be the most anticipated title of the generation - even the pre-orders are hard to get.

Too much Wii surplus - Nintendo is unaware of what to do with all these now that everyone on the planet owns one. Suggested giving to the troops in the ME and dropping them out of C-130's in Iraq.

Decoy Doctorpus helped create "The Watchmen" game and therefore it didn't suck.

 

[LewsTherin]

LINUX PRO RELEASED TO RAVE REVIEWS! HARDLINER WINDOWS 98 USERS SAY WASTE OF CASH!

BEN "YAHTZEE" CROSHAW PROVED TOO FORGIVING!

APPLE GOES BANKRUPT! ARE LOW SALES OF I-POD TO BLAME?

PRIME MINISTER JACK LAYTON APPROVES MANHUNT 3!

AND IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

LED ZEPELLIN VOTED OUT OF ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME!

 

[LewsTherin]

Sony's GrillStation 3 can be modified into a DVD player. An example can be found (Link removed by a moderator)

(I would post an actual link if i could, but this is better)

RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKK ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLL!!!

 

[Jumplion]

Sony's GrillStation 3 can be modified into a DVD player. An example can be found (Link removed by a moderator)

(I would post an actual link if i could, but this is better)

RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKK ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLL!!!

Would you rather perfer "2 Girls 1 Cup"?

 

[Archaeology Hat]

Meh, Goatse is worse...

Anyway.

Daily Mail : GTA, moral behavior handbook

 

[Johnn Johnston]

BBC APOLOGIZES FOR CANCELING DOCTOR WHO FOR TWENTY YEARS

There is less chance of them apologising for that than the chances of this:

XBOXSTATION CONSOLE HERALDS NEW ERA OF PEACE AMONGST GAMERS, NINTENDO TOLD "WE DON'T WANT YOU"

 

[Red Rum]

Due to the unsuccessfulness of their new MMO "World of Warcraft", Blizzard revitalizes "The Lost Vikings"

 

[Albino Ninja]

final fantasy 3 scheduled to release soon!! Fans say, "finally that should have happened years ago."

TES5 to break new ground in roleplaying conversation.

Halo 4 scheduled for release soon. fanboys insist it should be an RTS.

EA bought out by third party developer.

Civilization 5 said not to be fps. Sid Meier stated, "we wanted a change of pace, so we decided to make it into a strategy game."

 

[Treblaine]

An extremely rare and sought after Nintendo Gamecube is sold on auction for $340,000, the buyer is rumoured to be a rich Saudi Sheik.

Meanwhile Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii and Sony's PS3 are still failing to get any market niche due to the complete domination by PC gaming. One housewife gives her opinion:

"well I tried out Nintendo's stuff but I can't be bothered with flippant 'brain training' and 'Wii fit', I prefer to play Crysis on Very High with 1900x1200 resolution! Plus, high performance PC's are just so cheap compared to consoles and I illegally download every game, even though I love them and they only cost $50 each"

 

[SteinFaust]

this just in, Nintendo releases its new, highly anticipated console, the Revolution!

Sega CD outsells its next-gen counterpart, the xbox 360.

republicans flame a game producer today saying quote, "what the hell?? we just wanted to see 2 seconds of bare girl-ass!!" protests continue at the moment.

Jack thompson sues Real Life producer, God, for making his product offensive and violent. he demands that strict policies should be in place to keep this "disgusting sin against electronic gaming" out of the hands of children.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

ESA lawyer Jack Thompson wins landmark case. Details at 11.

Don't joke about that, my heart almost stopped!

Seriously though...

Squaresoft announces the Final Final Fantasy

"We just feel the series has run its course and won't make us any more money..."

Oh I just got one!

New lead character in Final Fantasy is criticized for being too manly.

Squaresoft announces Final Fantasy 6-2: The Adventures of Sabin (Not just normal Sabin, world of Ruin BEARDED Sabin).

 

[SteinFaust]

an entire generation of japanese children has been swept up into an american fad called "annie may", which features characters with aggressively normal haircuts, regularly-sized eyes, and going on incredibly sensible and realistic journeys. big hits include titles such as:
Sailor Dave, about a navy captain and his subordinates.

Bigfoot Glove R, a saga about collecting special gloves that grant wishes. character powers include non-flight, incredibly lax muscle tone, shooting bullets out of their hands, and with all these powers comes the tendency to turn your hair a delightful irish red.

and Cavuto, a chronicle about a clearly japanese boy who wears perfect camouflage, and tries to make it in a school for street brawlers. his catchphrase is "Don't Believe It!"

 

[Theo Samaritan]

Apple release their new OS for Commodore based computers. Micro owners cursing their lack of upgrade ability.

(will take a while for people to get that one)

 

[Johnn Johnston]

'Metal Gear Solid 4' critised for lack of plot.

 

[cheatking]

Blizzard annouce new projects and declares warcaft finished.
Gears of war 2 released, reviewers bore of the lack of gore in the game.
Fable 2 lives upto the hype by despensing cookies from the disk drive.
Online gamer caught "tea bagging", public outrage ensues and the offender is imprisoned.
Duke nukem forever leaves Yahtzee speachless.

 

[Johnn Johnston]

Killzone praised for perfect execution of gameplay, with no bugs or glitches.

 

[Johnn Johnston]

Sony's GrillStation 3 can be modified into a DVD player. An example can be found (Link removed by a moderator)

(I would post an actual link if i could, but this is better)

You prick.

At least we know there will be minimal running around or desertion.

 

[vede]

Is there no rule against rickrolling? There should be, and it should encompass the entire intarwebz.

Next Big Hit Said to Take Place in WWI!

(Seriously, why so much WWII, WWI was a war, too!)