God damn, Escapist. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.

[trollnystan]

Snip snippty snip
PS: the xbox was ok.

Oh thank god, I was worried there!

OT: I'm glad you can see you did in fact fuck up. I'm not so glad to see that you seem pretty unrepentant of it - "I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I RLY LAIK PARTEHS."[footnote]Sorry, but that's how you come off to me: "Wow, that's was shitty of me, but hey I like parties so no harm eh? Tehehehehe!"[/footnote] Really OP? REALLY? Other people here have said it better than me but dude seriously:

[HEADING=2]Apologize.
Bend over backwards for your parents from now until you move out.
NO PARTIES THIS SUMMER.[/HEADING]

Don't run off to your gran either, unless you've talked it over with your parents first. All that'll do is keep this thing hanging over your heads forever. If you're in the house you can make it up to them; you can't if you're at your gran's house eating biscuits or whatever.

You done goofed son. LIVE WITH IT.

EDIT: Ok, I went to get ice-cream re-read my post and will add this: Everyone fucks up. Hell, with the amount of times I've fucked up I probably shouldn't be preaching to you, except that means I have been there and I know what works.

Running away? Never works. If it does it's only temporary and will come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later.

Facing things is how you learn. Do so and you'll be a better person for it and have a better life for it. You owe your parents that much.

 

[94samWOW]

Honestly, the original post irritates me. I'm only 16, so it's not like these things are difficult for youngsters to figure out. If you want someone's opinion on what you should do here, instead of asking random internet bloggers, how about you ask your parents?
No matter what you do, you're not going to find an overnight fix for this. They're going to distrust you for a long while and that's just something you're going to have to deal with. Best bet: Tell them your sorry and ask THEM what you can do to make up for it; don't reason with them, concede to them. Because in this situation, they're probably right and you're probably wrong.
If you want to be considered mature enough to throw parties like that, you have to prove you're mature enough to take responsibility for your actions afterward and live up to the consequences.

 

[Albetta]

Sounds like it was a really good party. Interestingly enough, my friend had a party this weekend when HIS parents went out of town. There was weed, vodka and strip poker. It was cash.

 

[briunj04]

So, I was home-alone for a whole week. I thought, "Hey, I'm a pretty swell guy. I think I'll just go and invite a ton of my friends and throw a big, drunken party!". Honestly, though, the party was fun. But shit.

Hey, dude, look on the bright side. YOU HAVE 1337 POSTS!!! YAAAY!!!

But in all seriousness, if I was ever in a situation like this, I would just try getting out of the house as often as I could to go on hikes or bike rides to clear my mind, act like a saint, and just wait until the whole thing blows over. There's no way to really mend these sorta things other then time.

 

[Freakzooi]

You sound like the average teenager to me! On average occasionally stupid, but generally responsible. I mean you tried to prevent damage by hiding valuable stuff prior to the party and you cleaned up the entire house afterwards (though not that well, since your mom found some beercans). Also, when throwing a party you cannot control everyone, specially with 30+ people present. Shit always breaks when you throw larger parties like that, even with less drunken teenagers around. Get used to it. That's the risk you take, and the price you pay for fun.

Some pointers from very similar experiences with holding parties when the parents are away:

- CLEAN UP EVERYTHING, LOOK EVERYWHERE, EVEN UNDER THE BED. Actually, always check under the bed.

- Don't agree with keeping drugs for anyone. Not even for your friends.

- Don't go to your grandma, your parents should come to their senses soon. Just try to behave very decently for a while.


Oh and guys please leave the guy alone with the whole don't drink when underaged routine. In a lot of European countries the legal drinking age is 16, but that's besides the point. What I get from the story the problem wasn't that HE was drunk, but that some douchebags set his garden table on fire. That shit can happen to anyone throwing a party, even when people are reasonably sober shit like that can happen. Trust me. I once lost half a garden table as well to some retard being a dick with fireworks while he was fully sober.

 

[Xanadu84]

Your parents were teenagers too. Chances are...probably 75% that one of them has done worse.

The weed thing is kind of rough, because, "Holding it for a friend" is the cliche unbelievable excuse, right up there with dogs eating homework. You hypothetically would have to lie to be more believable, but that's just a bad policy. Your parents are looking for you to learn a lesson here, so your best bet is likely to take responsibility for your willingness to hold for a friend. Be willing to take your lumps for enabling a friend to smoke weed. That will be easier then unwillingly taking lumps for smoking pot.

Next up, you need to realize that there is a difference between "Being to blame" and "Taking responsibility". You can take responsibility for something that is your responsibility to take, while maintaining that the fault is not yours. Do that here. Tell your parents that you will take responsibility. You will clean up the mess, pay for the damages, and come up with a plan for how you will deal with friends who put you in that situation in the first place. Take the load off of them, and willingly put it on your shoulders. If they see that you do that, logically, they will very likely let that be the only punishment, and perhaps even take pity on you and take on some of the responsibilities for fixing the problem themselves, as a reward for your proper reaction. Or maybe they will let you take responsibility and still punish you. If that's the case, the punishment will probably still be milder, and in the long term you will have earned more of your parents respect. Make sure your parents know where your improper actions ended, what you did not do, but don't make it sound like your trying to get away with it. Be frank, stick to facts, and describe what happened without passion of any sort.

And lastly, metaphorical boot up the ass of your friends (Definitely not literal. That's very important). They put you in a shitty situation. That's not acceptable.

 

[Raizekage]

Your step-dad sounds like a real asshole. Over a small party with minor damages and weed and he says he's "ashamed" of you? That's a really rough thing to say like he doesn't want to be associated with you.

My suggestion is you punch him in the nads.

 

[Versuvius]

I dont know what to say. Oh wait. yes i do. who the fuck cares? I mean house parties arent a party unless something of very minor value gets destroyed. My ass has destroyed sturdier things than a plastic garden table. As for the whole pot thing...again so fucking what. Your parents sound like judgemental, irrational children. You havent fucked up so much as they should shut up. Appologise, get a new bloody table. Dont lament to the internet you did something of minor importance with no real repercussions. Feh. And as for the escapist population, shame on you for overreacting. Get off your fucking moral high horse. That is all.

 

[helmutlord]

Honestly, the original post irritates me. I'm only 16, so it's not like these things are difficult for youngsters to figure out. If you want someone's opinion on what you should do here, instead of asking random internet bloggers, how about you ask your parents? ...

In some ways you're very right SamWOW - but I think that posting this question on the internet does show that Funkiest Monkey wants advice, and will listen to others. And they are rare and wonderful traits that deserved to be praised more than criticised.
I would also say there are situations when it's good to get advice from people who aren't your parents - of course, having older mentors is best, but the internet isn't a bad way (as long as you don't take everything you hear as truth).

And it's wonderful that you don't find things like this difficult to figure out, but don't be harsh with people who do have difficulty in these situations. For some people it's not obvious what to do, and they need your help. No doubt they will find other things easier than you, and you would hope they don't berate you for it.
If you are good at something, and others are not, then kindly help them - and you've shown you are good at giving advice, and that is a wonderful gift. Don't ruin it by insulting people as well.

 

[The3rdEye]

Btw, I am loving this thread.

LOL YOU FUCKED UP BAD, BEHOLD, ONE OF THE RARE MOMENTS IN WHICH I CAN LAUGH AT SOMEONE BECAUSE HE DID SUMTHING DUMM LMOA HURR DURR I IS OF SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE

Good, I wasn't the only one who picked up on that

Some things bear repeating for emphasis, plus it's an internet forum. What you're saying is the equivalent of going into a forest and being shocked at the presence of foliage. That being said, there is some good advice being given. I also wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the repetition is people reliving their own teen fuck-ups, in that they are addressing Funkiest Monkey as much as themselves.

 

[Ghengis John]

My mom is angry and disappointed in me, my step-dad said he's ashamed of me. I really don't feel welcome in my home. I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I REALLY like parties.

This is some kind of a joke right? This is a character you're doing? Nobody is that stupid...

Look, hightailing it to grandma's just makes you look like more of an ass. First you made a problem, now you're running away from it. You think that's not disappointing? Just man-up, apologize and pay to fix/replace the table. No matter what it costs own up to your mistakes. That will do a lot more to impress them than being gwammy's wittle angel. Oh? You gonna hide under granny's skirt forever? Want her to make you some cookies, you can wash them down with a great big glass of wuss juice.

Another thing: What the fuck is wrong with you? Holding onto drugs for "a guy"? Do you know this guy? You might ant to take this opportunity to meditate upon your social circle. What kind of friends knowingly light your house on fire?

You say "I fucked up" this makes it sound like you realize you did something wrong... and yet you have no desire to change.

 

[Sentox6]

Personally I've never understood the appeal of getting shit-faced and acting like a moron myself.

EDIT:

Also probably cut back on the partying for a while

Well, maybe at my own house, yeah. But there's gonna be a hell of a lot of parties to attend this summer.

Spoiler: Implied Facepalm

...Really? REALLY?! Do you really think that's going to help your standing any with your folks?

...REALLY?!

This.

THIS. So much this.

I just don't get it. Play more videogames. Work out until you're ripped. Learn to play chess at a high level. Go mountain-biking. Go hiking. Ride a motorcycle. Learn to play an instrument. Learn to play another instrument, or write music. Study philosophy. Take up a sport competitively. Go make friends who aren't functionally retarded.

Life has infinite possibilities, and you (the OP) seems to think the most fun thing to do is basically just be a dipshit. W. T. F.

 

[Gudrests]

How about apologizing and attempting to make up for the damage by getting a job and paying for all the expensive shit you broke? Part of being an adult is being able to deal with your mistakes and learn from them. Avoiding them isn't something I would recommend because in the end what happened was entirely your fault. Avoiding your mistake would also be a "betrayal" of sorts as instead of attempting to remedy the situation you're letting your parents deal with it while you basically run away.

I'm 17 and I haven't yet found a job (currently looking!), I could no way afford to replace that table. I've tried apologizing and owning up to my actions, but they don't want to hear it. My step-dad doesn't even wanna talk to me.

I think the best thing to do would to get out of their hair for a while.

You do that and you will lose any respect or trust they had for you, not only would you of thrown a party in their absence but then you proceed to run away from your problems.

Step 1. Apologise say it will never happen again.
Step 2. Get a Job
Step 3. FIRST THING YOU BUY IS A REPLACEMENT TABLE AND JUST PUT IT OUT THERE! When they ask where it came from say it was your party that broke it and you replaced it.
Step 4. DO NOT get into anymore trouble or do anything dumb....maybe pretend to know that it was a bad idea in the first place.

This.

THIS. So much this.

I just don't get it. Play more videogames. Work out until you're ripped. Learn to play chess at a high level. Go mountain-biking. Go hiking. Ride a motorcycle. Learn to play an instrument. Learn to play another instrument, or write music. Study philosophy. Take up a sport competitively. Go make friends who aren't functionally retarded.

Life has infinite possibilities, and you (the OP) seems to think the most fun thing to do is basically just be a dipshit. W. T. F.

^^ Exactly...really? That's all you can think of..."OH there are going to be some awesome party's" Lets put it straight.....Figure out who you want to be. THIS is a turning point that your parent's will see forever. Did you own up and become a good person...or be more or less "a useless prick who throws a party and ruins shit that isn't his and learns nothing" Your choice man. Pick right.

 

[Oinodaemon]

I think it's your fault. I hate to be an asshole, but you are responsible for the party and it's actions.

Personally, I hate parties. I hate people. Persons are okay, People are shit.

Same here. I haven't been to a party since I was 17...and I don't regret it. The best thing you can do is sit them down and give them a genuine apology, then NOT run away. Deal with their disappointment, they'll get over it. Running away won't help them cool down nearly as much as having to deal with you on a day to day basis. And yes, I HAVE been there.

 

[ResonanceSD]

How about apologizing and attempting to make up for the damage by getting a job and paying for all the expensive shit you broke? Part of being an adult is being able to deal with your mistakes and learn from them. Avoiding them isn't something I would recommend because in the end what happened was entirely your fault. Avoiding your mistake would also be a "betrayal" of sorts as instead of attempting to remedy the situation you're letting your parents deal with it while you basically run away.

Alfred here is correct, as usual. Running away from it won't solve anything. Short or long term. Taking responsibility means dealing with problems that you exclusively caused, yourself.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

Btw, I am loving this thread.

LOL YOU FUCKED UP BAD, BEHOLD, ONE OF THE RARE MOMENTS IN WHICH I CAN LAUGH AT SOMEONE BECAUSE HE DID SUMTHING DUMM LMOA HURR DURR I IS OF SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE

Good, I wasn't the only one who picked up on that

Thanks for assuring my sanity. I did a lot of crazy shit when I was young, sometimes it gets out of hand, that's all.

 

[brittza]

a: your post count says 1337

b:i say you just go ahead and ride it our at your grandma's a lot of times it takes parents a while to remember all the crazy shit they did when they were our age. and in al seriousness, with time they will start remembering all the partys they threw, or thought of throwing.

 

[Android2137]

Your parents were teenagers too. Chances are...probably 75% that one of them has done worse.

...How can you screw up worse than this? Casually murder someone?

OT: Everyone's said what needs to be said. Apologize. Replace the table. Never ever do anything this stupid again. Seriously, throwing a party while you're parents are out of town? Not even asking for permission first? Moreover, you said a ton of friends were invited and that you needed to lock a lot of your stuff in your parents' room for safekeeping prior to the party's beginning. This implies that you know what kind of people your friends are and what was likely to happen. Large numbers of such people in one place, you really should have known how this party was going to end.

I've had a friend who threw a party at her apartment. Was so crowded when someone opened the front door, people literally spilled out of it. But these were all people she knew wouldn't do things like drink too much or smoke inside, so everything was well under control.

 

[aei_haruko]

So, I was home-alone for a whole week. I thought, "Hey, I'm a pretty swell guy. I think I'll just go and invite a ton of my friends and throw a big, drunken party!". Honestly, though, the party was fun. But shit.

The back-garden table ended up being set on fire, leaving a fairly expensive table pretty badly damaged. This is the main issue. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, I just know a couple of my friends were smoking in the garden and were dicking around with lighters.

The other big thing, is that a guy at my party was going on holiday in two days, and asked me to hold on to a bag of weed for him. I don't do that stuff myself, I tried it and it's really over-rated. Anyway, I didn't hide it very well, because when my mom came home she found it with a few hours. She was pretty angry with me. She was also angry at finding random empty beer cans hidden around the bed, and seeing the side of my bed was sick stained (a friend of mine CANNOT hold his drink).

My mom is angry and disappointed in me, my step-dad said he's ashamed of me. I really don't feel welcome in my home. I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I REALLY like parties. Tomorrow morning, I'm taking all my shit and I'm hightailing it to my grandma's house. I need to get out of here for a while.

What do you think of this, Escapist? What would you do in a similar situation?

EDIT: I think they understand about the weed, but are still kinda disappointed. Also, for the moment at least, I can't reason with them.

Well, I wouldn't have thrown the party, they always end badly. I feel for ya though. To be honest I'd just make it up to them by getting a really good grade on a test, or a job.