Greatest Quotes Ever

[Simriel]

'And i wanna be the king of all londinium and wear a shiny hat'
Mal Reynolds, Firefly
'I would never join any club that would have me as a member'
Groucho Marx

 

[MorganL4]

Dan Aykroyd (Elwood Blues): ... it's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses ...


John Belushi (Jake Blues): ... hit it ...


The Blues Brothers 1980


BEST QUOTE EVER


That or history of the world part one

Moses: The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...
[drops one of the tablets]
Moses: Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey!

or

Jacques: Don't cry, my dear. I may not have been born a king, or lived like a king. But I can die like a king!
[He strides to the guillotine with dignity]
Executioner: Your Majesty, do you require a blindfold?
Jacques: None!
Executioner: Have you any last request?
Jacques: None!
Executioner: Test the guillotine!
[Another executioner triggers the guillotine; the blade comes down and chops the head off a wooden dummy]
Jacques: *Holy shit!* Uh, wait! Wait! Last request! I have a last request!
Executioner: What is your last request?
Jacques: Novocaine!
[the executioners confer]
Executioner: There is no such thing known to medical science!
Jacques: I'll wait!

or

Judas: No, No! Leave us alone!
Comicus: All right, all right! Jesus!
Jesus: Yes?
Comicus: What?
Jesus: What?
Comicus: What?
Jesus: Yes?
Comicus: Jesus!
Jesus: Yes?
Comicus: What?
Jesus: What?
Comicus: You said what.
Jesus: Yes?
Comicus: Nothing.

or
Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: Gladiator.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you kill last week?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you try to kill last week?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: Yeah.
Dole Office Clerk: Now, listen, this is your last week of unemployment insurance. Either you kill somebody next week or we're going to have to change your status, got it?
Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher.
Dole Office Clerk: What?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.
Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *bullshit* artist!
Comicus: *Grumble*...
Dole Office Clerk: Did you bullshit last week?
Comicus: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to bullshit last week?
Comicus: Yes!


I love mel brookes

 

[The_Prophet]

War is just a racket. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses. - Major General Smedley Butler

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Albert Einstein

I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Cry Havoc!, and let slip the dogs of war - William Shakespear (Julius Caesar)

Republic Commando quotes

 

[SnowCold]

"I don't know whaat weapons will be used in World War 3. But in the 4th we will use sticks and stones"
Albert Einstein.

 

[spuddyt]

not exactly a famous quote, but funny in the original context (or indeed I would imagine totally out of context):
"the art of flying is in learning how to throw oneself at the floor and miss"
oh, and also "can't spell SLAUGHTER without LAUGHTER"

 

[Trivun]

Just a few Halo ones here:

"The message just keeps repeating 'Regret, Regret, Regret'." - "Dear humanity, we regret being alien b@st@rds. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret, that the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!"
"(Crashes Banshee) You did that on purpose, didn't you."
"I need a nurse! No, no, a FEMALE nurse!"
"Marine, did I give you permission to *****?"

 

[spuddyt]

"quite possibly the single greatest contributor to human society - anonymous"

 

[mattttherman3]

''You can see Russia from alaska!"

 

[SnowCold]

"Religion is upeium for the masses"
-Forgot who

 

[Skalman]

not exactly a famous quote, but funny in the original context (or indeed I would imagine totally out of context):
"the art of flying is in learning how to throw oneself at the floor and miss"

From The Hitchhikers Guide, right?
Damn that's a good book, been too long since I read it.

 

[Mungini]

"Religion is upeium for the masses"
-Forgot who

Its "Religion is the opium of the masses" and its by Karl Marx.
Mines "The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules"

 

[Ansem-The-Wise]

'I would only consider buying this game if it came with an even better game . . . and cake . . . and Belgium.' Zero Punctuation, The Darkness review.

'I wanna cast a spell.' Sir Schmoopy, Unforgotten Realms.

'Well, we'll start with you, Mr. Cage, let's see what you . . . and your podium is gone.' Will Ferrel, SNL Celebrity Jeopardy.

'You have NOTHING. Nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do, with all you strength.' The Joker, the Dark Knight.

'The Final Jeopardy category is "Would you like a cookie?" If you would like a cookie, write 'yes'. If you don't want a cookie, write 'no'. Even if you want a cookie, and you write 'no', you'll still win.' Will Ferrel, SNL Celebrity Jeopardy.

 

[Skalman]

'I would only consider buying this game if it came with an even better game . . . and cake . . . and Belgium.' Zero Punctuation, The Darkness review.

I belive the correct quote is:
"I would only consider buying this game if it came down to budget price, and they threw in another, better game. ...and some cake. ...and Belgium."

now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go watch that review again...

"You say that video games cause violence? I guess they do. Do you know what else causes violence? Religion. Religion has killed more people than video games ever could. Hell, more people die a day from religion than from video games. Do you know what? The world would be a better place without religion. That's why I'm atheist."
-Me, Responding to a parent's friend about how I play too many video games, and that eventually I will go and kill people because of them

QFT

 

[dalek sec]

Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.

 

[ICantBelieveItGoesBoom]

any given sentence from the book " A year in the Merde"

 

[the monopoly guy]

Ayn Rand talked a lot about people like Hillcrest. Something about them being parasites and requiring the attention of an assault rifle.

Yeah, it made me laugh very loudly.

 

[mattttherman3]

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius" Russel Crowe in Gladiator.

 

[Eldritch Warlord]

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius" Russel Crowe in Gladiator.

You gotta put the rest of that monologue for that to work.

 

[CRAVE CASE 55]

"More Spinach for Popeye and an M60 for Jesus!"

-Butters from the immaginationland 3 episode of south park

 

[gremily]

"It's a me!"
-Mario
So inspirational. *tear*