"Here I sit broken hearted. I tried to shit but only farted." - Bathroom Stall
?Throw moderation to the winds, and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains? -Democritus
Shoot the gangsters before they shoot you, or else you will be shot! - Wanted (Sega Master System) instruction manual
Do you remember what the villains from Captain Planet were like, how they'd steal an oil tanker and deliberately run it smack into a beach to teach all the sea lions a lesson in complacency? Do you ever remember wondering why they didn't just sell the oil at a huge profit and not have to get beaten up by a big blue man in little red pants? - Yahtzee
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT! Where's the Tylenol? - Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation
Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generations, and leading to the most outré results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities most stale and unprofitable? ? Sherlock Holmes
They seek him here, they seek him there. Those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in Heaven, or is he in Hell? That damned, elusive, Pimpernel. -The Scarlet Pimpernel
You see, I'm a poet. And I'm afraid, you didn't know it. - The Scarlet Pimpernel