Greatest Quotes Ever
- Thread starter PurpleRain
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Randy Marsh: Hello! In the outside world, I am a simple geologist... but in here, I am Valkorn, Defender of the Alliance. I have braved the Fargo Deep Mine, and defeated the Blood Fish at Jarod's Landing."
[griefer appears and kills Randy's character]
Nelson: Hmm. Looks like that guy just killed you.
Randy Marsh: What? Why? WHY?!
South Park.
[griefer appears and kills Randy's character]
Nelson: Hmm. Looks like that guy just killed you.
Randy Marsh: What? Why? WHY?!
South Park.
that is an engineering expression, and the last part is: the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.LoganDarkHolme said:
Oh and: "the world isn't black and white, it isn't even shades of grey, it's glorious technicolor, and there is no guide book" -ME!
Hunde Des Krieg said:
Also, "Some say the glass is half full,
others that the glass is half empty.
Corporate marketing guru's wondering why the glass is wasting half it's entire capacity and figure an ingenious way to downsize the glass, increasing profits and maxamising efficiency"
"You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I take and beat you with till you see who's in command!"
-Jayne, Firefly.
-Jayne, Firefly.
My favorite quote is from Albert Einstein. It was taken as a paraphrase in the sense that, someone asked him what weapons he thought would be used to fight World War 3. Einstein replied that he didn't know, but that he knew World War 4 would be fought with sticks and stones.
epp. Makes me want to start digging a very deep hole in the side of a mountain.
epp. Makes me want to start digging a very deep hole in the side of a mountain.
In a voice mail from my uncle at 3am:
"Hello...hello Katie, it's David, listen, listen is it ok to put Jack Daniels in...in shredded wheat? Because I did it and I think I'm shitting blood...ok call me back...if I die you can have my x-box and porn...did I say porn? I meant sweeties...ok, love..love...I just threw up in my mouth!"
It was so fucking funny.
Also, he wasn't shitting blood, he had red glasses on and didn't notice.
"Hello...hello Katie, it's David, listen, listen is it ok to put Jack Daniels in...in shredded wheat? Because I did it and I think I'm shitting blood...ok call me back...if I die you can have my x-box and porn...did I say porn? I meant sweeties...ok, love..love...I just threw up in my mouth!"
It was so fucking funny.
Also, he wasn't shitting blood, he had red glasses on and didn't notice.
I love bash.org
EDIT: Oh yeah! Cant forget about THIS classic!
Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
Let's see the results...
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
"Most people learn by observation, and there are a few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." - Anonymous
LOVE that quote!
"Ooh rah I wanna hurt somebody, ooh rah I wanna kill somebody - WAAAAAARRRRR!"
Battle cry heard from US marine recruits who were training at the Condor one day.
I really, really don't like US marines very much...
LOVE that quote!
"Ooh rah I wanna hurt somebody, ooh rah I wanna kill somebody - WAAAAAARRRRR!"
Battle cry heard from US marine recruits who were training at the Condor one day.
I really, really don't like US marines very much...