Maybe not the right place to ask but..

[matnatz]

Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands)

You must have been pulling while you were still in nappies or something lol.

 

[headshotcatcher]

If you are good friends you'd just both lay low, bros before hoes eh

 

[AngloDoom]

oh, and your magical deodorant is already here.

http://www.scent-of-seduction.com/androstenone_pheromone.html

The best part of that article;


"Let?s be honest: this is so powerful and effective, it?s unfair. But YOU deserve every advantage."


If they placed that product's slogan with that of, say, Tequila it'd just plain be my favourite slogan ever.

 

[Deacon Cole]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

Your solution is obvious: threesome.

 

[crypt-creature]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

....really? ok, as probably stated by most people already, just do it. Trust me, 1 chick is not worth losing sleep over, BELIEVE ME! Ive been with 14 chicks in my 23 years on this planet (serious relationships not just 1 night stands) and let me tell you, even if you dont get with this one chick, forget about her and move on, but always remember to utilize your nuts and make the attempt to at least ask her out.

You: 14 chicks.

Me: 1 chick.

I've had my heart bashed into a nice confetti too many times to let this slip. Imagine we are fishermen, fishing in a river of fish. You have already caught 14 fish today, I have caught zero. Of course it would be easier for YOU to rest easy and call it a night because at least you have the comfort that you have caught some fish and that youa re capable of catching more. I got a snag, and I'm not going out without a fight.

Honestly, I chose the man I'm with now because he was nice, and he was very shy, to the point of lacking almost any confidence. He was always a phone call away if I needed him, or an IM (we lived in different states at the time) and kept that up for months. He was far more comforting and sincere than a guy that I was seeing at the time, who ended up being an ass, but I'd already told them I won't date the two of them at the same time. He was too nice for that and it's really a disgusting thing to do to a person too.
We talked it over, and finally ended up dating. It has since turned into an engagement for us.

I wouldn't pressure her to choose, but you will more than likely have to wait and see how things go between them before you get a chance (and hopefully you will). Don't avoid being her friend and offering to be there for her, but don't try to directly compete with your friend. That's no good for any of you. It will hurt, but if you want to be with her that is the price you might have to pay (and sometimes, it's very well worth it). And who knows, someone else might come along during that time that you'll end up having an interest in. You just never know for sure.

So, not every girl will string men along if she has two looking at her with interest.

 

[Seldon2639]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

Talk to your friend, and discuss things before this drives a wedge between you. If you can handle the idea of "may the best man win", that's fine, but it sounds like it'd spoil your friendship to be in active competition for the girl. I'm not sure if there's a good solution to this problem, but unless you can accept losing to him graciously, you need to either figure out a way to win, or figure out a way to not play.

Having been in a similar situation, my experience tells me that it's better to keep the friendship and neither of you get the girl; it's bros before hos, man. Unless she's honestly the love of your life (and I kind of doubt it), she's not worth both the drama, and the loss of your friendship (especially if it's a close friendship). I'd talk to your friend, and sincerely express what's going on. If he's a good friend, he'll have the same willingness to safeguard the friendship over a romantic relationship with the girl; if he's a bad friend, he'll blow you off.

If he blows you off, you can either fight for the girl, and run the risk of losing to this jackass, or you can simply disconnect from the two of them. I don't know what to do at that point. I ended up washing my hands of the situation, but in my case the girl was also ten gallons of crazy in a five gallon hat.

 

[RadioActiveChimp]

What sorta jam? Strawberry? Ba dum tish.

I believe 'broes before hoes' is that awful saying men have. Decide which is more important - your friendship or this girl.
Don't mean to sound pessimistic, but there is a chance she won't like either of you, you didn't mention how she is with you and your friend.

that's easy for you to say, try losing your childhood best friend to a girl who doesn't let him go anywhere with out her. 4real it's like he's freaking married. and it'd be ok if she were cool, but when ever she's around she does whatever she can to shut me out.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I think you should try and go for it. Even if one of you goes for it and asks her out and she says yes that will leave the other one dissappointed, no matter which one it is. So take your chance and ask her.

 

[PurpleLeafRave]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

How dispensable is this friend?

 

[Clashero]

Yeah I sort of figured that with your avatar. I'm just so tired.

But since you do see this from the opposite perspective as me, let me give you a little rundown about how much she knows me and my friend.

Me: I'm sort of the joker, the type who cheers a girl up by making her laugh, I've worked with her a lot in my drama class, but when we hang out, it's never alone or anything (too many times have girls gotten a creepy vibe from that) my friends and hers always come as well,.

Friend: A bit of a joker as well, but has a working cell phone. The obvious advantage here is that he was the first to comfort her when she broke up (albeit by text)

So I was wondering since I couldn't contact her today to comfort her, If I would call her up tomorrow to check up on how she's doing, would that be of any help?

It would be of help if you want to be her friend, but not if you want to be more than that.
You sort of missed your chance by being the second man in. Even if your friend doesn't make a movie, he's got first dibs sort of thing. Time is everything in these situations.

I find it quite sad that even when people get more mature and can reason, the whole "first dibs" thing still applies. I don't like using phrases like that because it implies that the girl is a piece of food or trophy meant to be won, I'd talk it out with her if I could, but I'm not sure she knows me well enough to accept that. And if I wait, then she'll be with my friend. Not a fun situation.

You have no phone? Use your home phone (they still exist!), or a program like Skype. I know that Skype has completely subtituted all my phone calls. I don't even use my cell phone anymore. I just text from the Internet and use Skype to call from my laptop.

 

[chefassassin2]

Goddamnit man, that's the thing, I have no way to contact her, and she recently broke up with a previous boyfriend. And guess who is there to comfort her? Not me that's for damn sure.

This could work to your advantage, mate. If he's the one to comfort her after a recent break-up, she could easily put him in the friend zone, which leaves the path paved for you to swoop in when she's had time to process and go for the prize. Good luck!

 

[tsb247]

This is never a fun situation (I've been there... BELIVE ME!), but there are several things you should take into account.

How will your friend react if you move in on her? Normally, I too follow the, "Bros before hoes," mantra, and I do my best to never let a girl come between me and my friends (that is... when I was single that's how it worked. Things change a LOT when one is in a serious, committed relationship and priorities rearrange). Is it really worth risking a friendship for a girl you may only date for a few months? It is impossible to know the outcome of any relationship before it begins, and it is still impossible even after one begins. Why take the chance of throwing away a friendship?

You say you can't sleep because when you close your eyes, you keep seeing them together. Well, I'm not too sure what to say here... That's somewhat of a psychological thing. Why are you so preoccupied? That is a question you must ask yourself. Sometimes if a situation like this is affecting your sleep, you may be obsessing about it in an unhealthy way. Trust me. Relax, take a deep breath, and realize that it's all gonna be ok. Besides, girls tend to go more for guys that are relaxed and have a sense of confidence about them. I know it's an old saying, but, "There are other fish in the sea," if this one gets away.

If I had gotten with/stayed with some of the girls I have wanted to date/dated in years past, I would be one hell of a miserable man. I was patient and I have now found someone wonderful!

My point is this: Don't stress over it so much. Do/say what you need to her when you get the chance. You may win out, or you may not. I know it's almost impossible to take this advice given the situation, but trust me. It's not worth the agony you seem to be experiencing.

 

[ben---neb]

Is anyone else tired of being mistaken for someone who cares? But since you asked so nicely:

Go to her house and sing to her, failing that there are several wonderful inventions out there to help you. Here's a list:

1. Facebook
2. Email
3. Instant Messaging
4. A landline
5. Your vocal chords

Good luck. I'm sure she likes you way better than your friend.

 

[PureBredGentleman]

What are you? 12?

15 buddy. So for me that cancels out any "get drunk" response.

 

[Triple G]

I find myself in a sort of jam here. There is this girl whom I really like and I've been meaning to ask her out for sometime. Problem is though, my best friend has the same idea. Of late, I have had no fucking phone to contact her or anything, but my friend has. It's late, I'm tired and can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see the two together. Humor me for a moment fellow escapists, and help me.

Dude, I feel your pain. got that almost every time with my BF. Ok not exactly like that. In my case he doesn't want to take my interest away or he doesn't knows I'm interested in the girl until it's too late. In such cases I just have one golden rule: If you and your friend meet a girl and she finds him more atractive than you, then you know one thing: SHE IS A FUCKING ***** A NEVER DESERVES YOUR ATTENTION. If a girl doesn't like you, then she's not worth it.

Also NEVER listen to girl's problem or stories about old relationships. If you start doing that than you will be reduced to the "best friend". it's like this:

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

So whenever she starts talking about that shit, tell her that you have enough problems yourself and that you do not need hers on top of that. Be confident, and a little bit of an asshole, make fun of her from time to time, not that hard, but a little bit, don't do her any big favors like carrying something for her, because if you do, you will be reduced to the "best friend" - role again. Women really love to have some idiot who will worship them all the time but be too dumb or too weak too realise they will never take him. So NEVER let yourself b reduced to that.

 

[Bat Vader]

Unlike MCcain, Bush, and Cheney he know when to exit a fight. I am shy and a loner so I have no real use for people except when I need something. Who ever said one night stands were involved. I plan to die a virgin. As I said relationships are for other people. They are not for me.

That is fine, I mean if you know what you want in life and are going to go for it then more power to you.

You won't really know what you are missing unless you give people a shot through. You are in forums responding to people, so I would think that at least at some level you crave human interaction.

I would give you some advice, that you should not write off everyone. I mean it is still your choice but it seems you have picked a very lonely and non fulfilling path. I just think you need to really take a long look at the reasons for that. Did you pick the path or did it pick you?

I picked it but it also picked. Most of my friends were never truly my friend and so I chouse to cut my losses and not trust anybody instead of taking a chance.

That is a losing proposition in a game with win conditions. Tit for tat is almost universally recognized as the optimal choice in this scenario.

Basically put, you are doomed to fail because you believe you are doomed to fail. Self fulfilling prophecy. Stop dragging our society down with your sub-optimal tactics.

How exactly am I dragging society down by being a loner? I am not causing society to fail in anyway by not talking to people.

 

[asinann]

And next time you see the girl you should confess that the two of you like her and let her know that it's her choice and you're not gonna be immature and fight about it.

And let her play with both their emotions like a harpy? No. You'll just give her ammunition to play you off against each other.Who knows what she'll have you doing...*shudder*

That is so stereotypical. Most women I know in that situation wouldn't do that. You cannot justify that statement as an average case, only as a worst case.

Odd, almost every woman I know would. They wouldn't ADMIT they would do it, but they would.
It makes them feel all warm and fuzzy knowing they have 2 guys on a string.

A local case does not prove a global one.

Except when you're in the military and the women come from all over the place. Then you encounter the same situation everywhere you live (working on 5 states and 17 cities.)