MetroidNutQuest 2012
- Thread starter MetroidNut
- Start date
Recommended Videos
>Y
By the power of DEMOCRACY, you elect to ignore the threat of DUEDLY FIREARMS and continue your escape!
And, well...
As it turns out...
You have chosen...
Poorly.
You are lying in DIRK'S BACKYARD. You are BLEEDING PROFUSELY from a GUNSHOT WOUND in your LOWER TORSO. You can hear the POLICE in DIRK'S HOUSE slowly approaching the WINDOW you recently leaped through.
By the power of DEMOCRACY, you elect to ignore the threat of DUEDLY FIREARMS and continue your escape!
And, well...
As it turns out...
You have chosen...
Poorly.
You are lying in DIRK'S BACKYARD. You are BLEEDING PROFUSELY from a GUNSHOT WOUND in your LOWER TORSO. You can hear the POLICE in DIRK'S HOUSE slowly approaching the WINDOW you recently leaped through.
>Knight Templar: Arrive holding the HOLY GRAIL. Taunt MN with the promise of the chalice's healing prowess.
Or,
>Secret Passage (Luckily hidden beneath the patch of grass our wounded protagonist finds himself sprawled across): Spontaneously open.
Or,
>Secret Passage (Luckily hidden beneath the patch of grass our wounded protagonist finds himself sprawled across): Spontaneously open.
>Knight Templar: Arrive holding the HOLY GRAIL. Taunt MN with the promise of the chalice's healing prowess.
You are now the KNIGHT TEMPLAR. Between the fact that you are in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE and the fact that it is REALLY FUCKING DARK, you aren't even sure that you're standing up. You have not located the HOLY GRAIL, but you're working on it! Even if you had it, of course, you don't know who this "MN" guy is. Is he a MUSLIM, or even better, a MUSLIM BABY? Because you haven't done enough KILLING AND/OR PILLAGING lately.
EDIT: hopy shit guys i like totes said "You are know the KNIGHT TEMPLAR", which is totes a rly stupid mist8k so i fixed it guys
its oaky
*okya
You are now the KNIGHT TEMPLAR. Between the fact that you are in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE and the fact that it is REALLY FUCKING DARK, you aren't even sure that you're standing up. You have not located the HOLY GRAIL, but you're working on it! Even if you had it, of course, you don't know who this "MN" guy is. Is he a MUSLIM, or even better, a MUSLIM BABY? Because you haven't done enough KILLING AND/OR PILLAGING lately.
EDIT: hopy shit guys i like totes said "You are know the KNIGHT TEMPLAR", which is totes a rly stupid mist8k so i fixed it guys
its oaky
*okya
>MN: Suddenly you realize that you have your Life Alert pendent around your neck. Using your superior hacking skills you manage to change the automated message from "Help I've fallen and I can't get up!" to "Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, I've been shot!" Press the button and hope Old Ben gets your message in time...
>MN: Suddenly you realize that you have your Life Alert pendent around your neck. Using your superior hacking skills you manage to change the automated message from "Help I've fallen and I can't get up!" to "Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, I've been shot!" Press the button and hope Old Ben gets your message in time...
That is ridiculous! Obi-Wan Kenobi is a fictional Asari from the planet Vulcan, and his ship - the Serenity - is too slow to reach you in time!
You feel a great disturbance in your mind, as if all the nerdiness within you suddenly cried out in terror and was suddenly silenced.
You suspect blood loss may be affecting your ability to think.
That is ridiculous! Obi-Wan Kenobi is a fictional Asari from the planet Vulcan, and his ship - the Serenity - is too slow to reach you in time!
You feel a great disturbance in your mind, as if all the nerdiness within you suddenly cried out in terror and was suddenly silenced.
You suspect blood loss may be affecting your ability to think.
>MN: Escape your pain in the land of fluffdreams.
Though you're still under the effects of a CHERRY COKE, you're going to need a some more DRUGS if you want to go to the LAND OF FLUFFDREAMS!
Though you're still under the effects of a CHERRY COKE, you're going to need a some more DRUGS if you want to go to the LAND OF FLUFFDREAMS!
>KT: Remove your helmet. Show us your true identity.
You never take off your HELMET, because you can't let any lurking MUSLIMS learn your identity.
You've heard stories. You know, of what they'd do to KNIGHTS they could identify. They've got INFILTRATORS all across EUROPE; if they found who you were, and you didn't have a FAMILY, they'd send one to burn your HOUSE, raze your FIELDS, and massacre any PEASANTS under your protection. If you did have a FAMILY? They'd mount their heads on pikes, then stick them in the smoldering ruins of all your worldly possessions.
"War. War never changes." - The legendary diplomat, Pope Urban II
You never take off your HELMET, because you can't let any lurking MUSLIMS learn your identity.
You've heard stories. You know, of what they'd do to KNIGHTS they could identify. They've got INFILTRATORS all across EUROPE; if they found who you were, and you didn't have a FAMILY, they'd send one to burn your HOUSE, raze your FIELDS, and massacre any PEASANTS under your protection. If you did have a FAMILY? They'd mount their heads on pikes, then stick them in the smoldering ruins of all your worldly possessions.
"War. War never changes." - The legendary diplomat, Pope Urban II
>KT: Launch a Holy War against the Illuminati/Assassins/Dirk Pace's family.
Well...don't get the wrong idea! You're a huge fan of HOLY WARS! It's just, you know, you're a little concerned that starting between one and three new ones might distract from the current, more pressing HOLY WAR against all things NON-CHRISTIAN. But you would've already known that...is this mysterious suggestion implying, then, that the ILLUMINATI/ASSASSINS/DIRK PACE'S FAMILY are MUSLIMS? Because if so you are totally down with getting your murder on.
Well...don't get the wrong idea! You're a huge fan of HOLY WARS! It's just, you know, you're a little concerned that starting between one and three new ones might distract from the current, more pressing HOLY WAR against all things NON-CHRISTIAN. But you would've already known that...is this mysterious suggestion implying, then, that the ILLUMINATI/ASSASSINS/DIRK PACE'S FAMILY are MUSLIMS? Because if so you are totally down with getting your murder on.
>MN: Crawl to nearest payphone, call the only friend you've ever known.
You sincerely doubt there's a PAYPHONE within a 1-mile radius of DIRK'S HOUSE! This is the TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY, everyone uses CELL PHONES! Except you, because your CELL PHONE BATTERY is dead, as usual. You could always try to communicate over your COMPUTER, as is the norm, but your COMPUTER is pretty far away to crawl to.
And even then, you'll have to find some way to avoid the POLICE! Not to mention that, more importantly, you need to do something about the gaping hole in your TORSO before you BLEED OUT!
But...you're just so very TIRED. The PAIN of the GUNSHOT, the HOPELESSNESS of ESCAPE...you want nothing more than to take a nice, long NAP, and think of a solution afterwards.
You sincerely doubt there's a PAYPHONE within a 1-mile radius of DIRK'S HOUSE! This is the TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY, everyone uses CELL PHONES! Except you, because your CELL PHONE BATTERY is dead, as usual. You could always try to communicate over your COMPUTER, as is the norm, but your COMPUTER is pretty far away to crawl to.
And even then, you'll have to find some way to avoid the POLICE! Not to mention that, more importantly, you need to do something about the gaping hole in your TORSO before you BLEED OUT!
But...you're just so very TIRED. The PAIN of the GUNSHOT, the HOPELESSNESS of ESCAPE...you want nothing more than to take a nice, long NAP, and think of a solution afterwards.