Most hilariously awful quotes.

[Vim-Hogar]

"Well from my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

That movie might have been good, if it hadn't been for that line.

 

[Haddi]

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Go have some cerials or something... and bring me some while you're at it. Me hungry.

Yay cereal!

What about my bowl? I have to get it myself or what? What kind of closet-stalking cereal-killer are you that you don't even bring me some serials?

All of these homophones are getting my antsy.

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Go have some cerials or something... and bring me some while you're at it. Me hungry.

Yay cereal!

"You know what I dont hate. I dont hate vests."

Anyone who hates vests is a sinner, and also ugly and smelly.

I dont hate vests if thats what you are getting at, but the line is awful.

I know, I was agreeing with the awful line.

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Builds scars too.

That's what I meant.
Scars look badass, and they build your character.
So instead of a flat boring character, you're a flat badass character with manly man scars.

These scars, are they also manly man scars of MANLINESS?

ARE THERE ANY OTHER KIND

Maybe?

 

[Specter_]

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Go have some cerials or something... and bring me some while you're at it. Me hungry.

Yay cereal!

What about my bowl? I have to get it myself or what? What kind of closet-stalking cereal-killer are you that you don't even bring me some serials?

All of these homophones are getting my antsy.

Ok, that's it. No more Box o' Porn for you in the closet!

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Builds scars too.

That's what I meant.
Scars look badass, and they build your character.
So instead of a flat boring character, you're a flat badass character with manly man scars.

These scars, are they also manly man scars of MANLINESS?

ARE THERE ANY OTHER KIND

Emo-scars?

 

[josh797]

All of that horrible, stupid song at the end of Portal. Ruined the game for me...

Heresy!

burn the witch!!

 

[Specter_]

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Go have some cerials or something... and bring me some while you're at it. Me hungry.

Yay cereal!

What about my bowl? I have to get it myself or what? What kind of closet-stalking cereal-killer are you that you don't even bring me some serials?

All of these homophones are getting my antsy.

Ok, that's it. No more Box o' Porn for you in the closet!

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Builds scars too.

That's what I meant.
Scars look badass, and they build your character.
So instead of a flat boring character, you're a flat badass character with manly man scars.

These scars, are they also manly man scars of MANLINESS?

ARE THERE ANY OTHER KIND

Emo-scars?

NO. OTHER.
KINDS.
OKAY?
OKAY.
Also you can't take my porn away from me!
(And I meant to say "making ME antsy," not "my" which just proves I'm tired.)

It's still my closet and my Box o' Porn...

 

[Specter_]

killing for peace is like fucking for virginity. i heard someone on this site say it. honestly it's the stupidest thing i've ever heard.

Stupid? That quote is so positively fucking Zen that my nipples have begun seeping three different oriental languages and rose petals are blowing out of my ass.

Quoted for awesomness

My pick for a hilariously funny slash awful quote,

"theres never going to be a Chinese version of the YMCA"

Name that quote and win a cookie.

Russell Peters

 

[NeoAC]

My pick for a hilariously funny slash awful quote,

"theres never going to be a Chinese version of the YMCA"

Name that quote and win a cookie.

Russell Peters

Russell Peters is epic. "Hey lady, where is your punani! My boy is sick! He needs some punani right now! Give me two! Is it ripe, let me squeeze it. No, no, no seeds!" Cracks me up everytime.

 

[v3cks]

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. It's like a book of bad quotes!
"Die monster, you don't belong in this world!"

 

[KungFuMaster]

What is the worst quote you have every encountered. Mine is "I'll kill you, I'll kill you to death!" Superman in countdown I think.

I had a kid tell me once "I'm going to kill you so bad, you're going to be dead." We were around eight years old, but still.

 

[sneakypenguin]

"The snake is unstoppable!"

Sci-fi original movie. Dont remember title but as you can kinda gather its about a giant snake. And like four minutes later afformentioned sake gets killed. By a pistol. In three shots.

Ha I love sci fi originals, just because they are ungodly horrible. It's always something like Raptorconda or some other genetically modified critter. That the hot chick and some guy have to hunt/fight/runfrom/kill, all other characters are critter food.

 

[Musical-Wheelchair]

"You got whacked 'cause you're weak."
-Magus, Chrono Trigger

He says this in the older version of the game, seems they needed at least one more member on their translation team before shipping it out of Japan. You hear it after a certain character is killed and later revived. They replaced it with "Your death was owed to weakness." in the DS port, though.

 

[Haddi]

"How can you love her if you can't even eat her poop?"

I forgot where it came from.

Mostly-dead webcomic "Sexy Losers", later reposted in demotivator style on various chansites.

killing for peace is like fucking for virginity. i heard someone on this site say it. honestly it's the stupidest thing i've ever heard.

Stupid? That quote is so positively fucking Zen that my nipples have begun seeping three different oriental languages and rose petals are blowing out of my ass.

Don't think on my comments too much, it hurts the brain.

My pick for a hilariously funny slash awful quote,

"theres never going to be a Chinese version of the YMCA"

Name that quote and win a cookie.

Sexy Losers....Oh yeah, the bad porn comic. hahaha. That was disgusting.

Good times.

Goood times.

 

[placeboeffect]

"Not only is he my lightning rod, he is my sounding rod as well." President Bush speaking about one of his cabinet members in an interview. I don't even know what the hell that means......any ideas?

 

[gamegod25]

All of that horrible, stupid song at the end of Portal. Ruined the game for me...

Are you insane thats the best part of the game!

 

[Adam Jenson]

"You know what happens to a toad when its struck by lightning. The same thing that happens to everything else"

Storm, X-Men

 

[TLMG]

"Smoking kills. If you're dead than you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields (or whatever her name is) for an anti-smoking group.