Most hilariously awful quotes.

[Booze Zombie]

"I'm going to stab you. With bullets."

 

[Sewblon]

It's stuff like this that makes me think think what I do of mankind...

Is that horrible quote intentional?

 

[Specter_]

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Go have some cerials or something... and bring me some while you're at it. Me hungry.

Yay cereal!

What about my bowl? I have to get it myself or what? What kind of closet-stalking cereal-killer are you that you don't even bring me some serials?

All of these homophones are getting my antsy.

Ok, that's it. No more Box o' Porn for you in the closet!

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Build character like a... brick wall... around a brick wall or something.

Meh, it's 5 o'clock in the morning, brain not working, serial killer nagging me...

*nag nag nag*

Truly you are the master of unlocking. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XyghKl72R0]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Never again! If that's what I think it is, burn it. Burn it right goddamn now.

I laughed until I stopped.

Shaped like itself.
Okay so I finally got the video to load and I swear to god it was the MOST CRINGE-WORTHY dialog EVER.
I am seriously in pain.

I think it killed my father and raped my mother. IT WAS THAT BAD.

I wish that's all it had done.
Sadly, not.

See, this is why we can't have good things.

Because awful quotes destroy them?

........Yes.

The only obvious recourse is to murder everyone who produces bad dialog.

Harsh, but fair.

You may not think it fair once you see the method of their demise.

Meh, I'm pretty sadistic. I dream of throwing rocks at my future grandchildren. Gneee....

Psh, rocks? You big softie.
I throw knives at my nephews and nieces and such.
Builds character.

Builds scars too.

That's what I meant.
Scars look badass, and they build your character.
So instead of a flat boring character, you're a flat badass character with manly man scars.

These scars, are they also manly man scars of MANLINESS?

ARE THERE ANY OTHER KIND

Emo-scars?

NO. OTHER.
KINDS.
OKAY?
OKAY.
Also you can't take my porn away from me!
(And I meant to say "making ME antsy," not "my" which just proves I'm tired.)

It's still my closet and my Box o' Porn...

Seriously, this quote tunnel is about to collapse the waveform or whatever nerdy shit you care to say.
TOO DAMN LONG.

"I'm going to stab you. With bullets."

You're a madman. That is an awesome quote.
(Also Specter are you really going to tell a psychotic person who lives in your closet what he can and cannot do with a box of porn.)

Totally. Just because you are mad doesn't mean I'm sane.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

"In my travels round the world I have always been surprised that no matter where I go people recognize and know me, from Europe, Australia and India to the Philippines and the Zulu Nation in South Africa. This got me thinking... I realized that while two people from two entirely different countries and backgrounds may seem to have nothing in common, the only thing they might have in common is me..."

David Hasselhoff.

 

[nathan-dts]

What is the worst quote you have every encountered. Mine is "I'll kill you, I'll kill you to death!" Superman in countdown I think.

Really? That sounds awesome.

 

[are.you.the.god.its.me.vader]

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush

 

[Johnn Johnston]

"Hey, Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?"

I'm not going to complete the quote; you'll just have to see it for yourself [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBtpyeLxVkI]. It's an example of over-the-top, terrible voice acting, that also manages to be brilliant.

Also, the quotes at the end of this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxkr4wS7XqY]. Worst fight scene ever, worst quotes ever, but they fall into the category of "So Bad It's Good".

 

[Bertruam]

"The snake is unstoppable!"

Sci-fi original movie. Dont remember title but as you can kinda gather its about a giant snake. And like four minutes later afformentioned sake gets killed. By a pistol. In three shots.

Ha I love sci fi originals, just because they are ungodly horrible. It's always something like Raptorconda or some other genetically modified critter. That the hot chick and some guy have to hunt/fight/runfrom/kill, all other characters are critter food.

There was one movie they had called "Scarecrow" that was pretty good. It was about a kid who had a had a horrible life that went on until a bunch of jocks strangled him to death with the the burlap sack head of the scarecrow. A year later his angered soul got strong enough for him to control it and he went on a killing spree.

Now I told you that so I can tell you this. When he goes to kill the lead jock, said jock picks up a lit tiki torch and says "How about a little fire Scarecrow?"

The scarecrow replies "Dude, that just sucked", pulled a pistol from his chest, and unloaded a clip in him.

Moral: Dont quote wizard of oz in a fight our your enemy gets a free pistol.

 

[Epifols]

It's stuff like this that makes me think think what I do of mankind...

Is that horrible quote intentional?

Would you kindly tell me how that is a quote?

 

[DI7789]

"MIIIIIIIIIKE!" -Leon in Resident Evil 4, reacting to the death of a character who was on screen for all of two minutes. In a helicopter.

"WELCOME TO FUCKING BOATMURDERED!" (Apologies for the caps lock in both of my quotes) - A Dwarf Fortress Let's Play [http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Boatmurdered/chapter1-16.html]

 

[Christemo]

IM IN UR BASE, KILLING UR DOODZ

 

[Elite L Dizzy]

Keanu Reeves in Point Break: "I am an F.B.I. Agent!"

 

[the protaginist]

From a game: "I've covered wars you know."
About a game: "Okay so i went to that one town, killed every one there, blowered it up, went to the tower and killed every one there except for the chinese dude,what now?"

completely unrelated to a game: Marty Mcfly yelling, "BASTARD(S)!"
I love that movie, but that line was terrible.

 

[Sewer Rat]

I'd have to go with this one by EX president (so happy to be saying that ) Bush
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

From a game: "I've covered wars you know."

I could be wrong but Frank West from Dead Rising said that right??

 

[Hallow'sEve]

"You did all this to become immortal, WHY?!
"TO LIVE FOREVER!"

~House of the Dead

XD
Man that made me crack up

 

[jockslap]

it would have to be either "LISTEN" from navi in ocarina of time, or "You are running low on health, do you have any potions, or food?" from the guildmaster in the original fable...i was murderous after the third time.