Open Relationships, what do you think?

[Zersy]

Love is lust and Lust is sex.

It may work for some people but in general it doesn't work,

(I'm saying because my open relationship didn't work for shit ! )

 

[MelziGurl]

I think open relationships are pathetic, plain and simple. If you love someone, you love everything about them including the sex and should see no reason to get it from someone else.

 

[spartan231490]

I disagree, mostly. I think that if you and all of your partners are ok with that, then it's your call. Personally, I wouldn't do it. I don't see any reason to seperate sex from emotion. Without emotion, sex is just physical gratification, which you can accomplish without the added complication of another human being. That's just the way I see it, to each his/her own.

 

[Jark212]

Would never work out for me, I'm the jealous type...

 

[Kragg]

There is no point of being in a relationship if you're going to be sleeping around. Sex is, whether you like it or not, a display of love. It's a physical way to display love and commitment. To think of it as nothing more than reproductive recreation is to deny one of the things that makes humanity civilized rather than animalistic. If you actually love someone, you won't want to be screwing other people.

I just don't like the feel of this post. Mainly the "Sex is, whether you like it or not, a display of love" part is throwing me off. Why? Is that an absolute for everyone? I'm calling bullshit.

I suppose I should have worded it differently. The point was that, culturally, sex means something (or at least it should: it's been defiled plenty in recent years, but the idea is still that sex means love). Point being, you'll be hard-pressed to find someone who wouldn't think you're a douche if you're married and sleeping around, let along a wife who'd be okay with it. It may be an area where you have to decide whether your own views are worth being estranged from society as such, but sociologically the idea doesn't work out either. The "family unit" is an incredibly important part of any society, and is absolutely vital to the functionality of any society. To take the exclusivity of sex out of that concept would be a huge blow. Things like this are the things that separate us from animals: we are cultured, and can create a society in which we can all coexist. The family unit (and thus, sexual exclusivity) is one of many things that, if eliminated from society, could cause a complete collapse of it (I know it sounds melodramatic, but I cannot stress the importance of this concept to a working society).

So it's not necessarily an absolute for everyone: I believe it is, but I don't expect everyone to go by the same belief system as I. Point is, you may think like this, but society as a whole has an extremely good reason to disagree.

Fair enough. Thanks for clearing up your point for me. You make a good point. "Human Nature" is pretty important. It's a bit like the whole communist thing (going against human nature). I'm just saying, I think the social causes are greater than the genetic ones. It may have started out as people being jealous but it has evolved to the point where it's, as you said, the social norm to not have an open relationship.

that and the love bond you make during sex is an actual evolutionary process to protect the offspring, keeping a couple together to increase survival rates

even so, the male will try to breed more and spread his genes, but never sustained over longer periods of time that makes no sence and makes the family bonds with the different wives and/or offspring much less tight. we are human after all, not lions.

 

[spartan231490]

Also, I think it would complicate my relationships with my friends more than I can handle. For me, it's hard enough to go through life with an extremely clear line between a friend and a girlfriend. I can imagine that at least half of the friendships I have with women would be destroyed if I entered an open relationship.

 

[Pegghead]

Nowadays sex is a big part of a relationship, in the old days it was a HUGE part of a relationship.

I don't believe that sleeping around is morally sound as it is, doing that while in a relationship (Ultimately defying the afforementioned place intercourse has always had in relationships) is just wrong in my book.

 

[spartan231490]

on a side note, one night stands are also off limits for me personally, but like I said: to each his/her own.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

Well I believe sexual intercourse is one of the strongest displays of emotion

Pretty much this. Sex is one of the most amazing things a couple can experience. Good sex should always be more than just physical; it has the potential to be a phenomenal emotional and spiritual connection. As such, it should be reserved for someone you actually care about rather than someone you just met.

Bloody 'eck. Word for word that is exactly what I would have said.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

I would like to say that the maturity and insight of The Escapist forums is quite pleasing to watch. And yes, monogamy for me, though the option for a threesome and a dedicated third partner is possible:

Basically, neither I nor my girlfriend are allowed to have sex without both of us being involved. It's pretty much monogamous but with a little more fun.

 

[Neikun]

Well I believe sexual intercourse is one of the strongest displays of emotion, therefore just screwing around with anyone you want is rather deceitful to me.

So monogamy for me

o-o;
*swoon*

 

[Jaranja]

I think open relationships are pathetic, plain and simple. If you love someone, you love everything about them including the sex and should see no reason to get it from someone else.

Not everyone gets what they want. If you can find someone that is the only person, in the world, that you need; more power to you. I mean, it's not like everyone's going to find someone they love and settle down. People will die alone, sadly.

 

[Veleste]

You can love someone and not have them satisfy you sexually so I can understand an open relationship but the medical and emotional complications would prevent me from ever perusing one. Sleeping around increases the chance of diseases and it's hard to find a long term partner to 'hop on board' while you're in a committed relationship with someone else so long term I can never imagine it working. Eventually you will choose between the two.

 

[Zwilorg]

Absolutely not on my part! if my gf asked how i would feel about it and that she wanted to do it, i would leave her...

but she doesnt so every1 is happy ^^


has someone always says only 1 key to a (dunno the word) (hole in the door, to insert the key mencioned before ).

Keyhole. Sometimes the word is more simple than you think.

OT: Women tend to dissaprove of infidelity. You may find your girlfriend leaving you if you start sleeping around.

thank you ^^ yes english language has some perks to it

 

[FourEyedPandora]

Personally, I get jealous easily, so I can't deal with an open relationship. My friend, on the other hand, is in one and he and his partners are happy (there's one boy and two girls in this relationship). So, it depends on the person.

 

[SimuLord]

I was all set to say something moralistic and self-righteous and the whole nine yards, but I looked at your profile first.

You're 16. That explains everything.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I would be extremely jealous in a relationship like that. I'd much prefer monogamy.

Imagine, if you will, you're with someone you love in an open relationship and they, by chance, have a child that's not yours. Would the open relationship stay? How would it affect the child? Maybe it's just me (I know it's not) but I would hate to have the thought of my girlfriend having a child that wouldn't be mine and knowing that it might not have a good affect on his/her life.

Too each their own, though. If a people can be happy in a relationship that way, then great.

 

[Adventurer2626]

Call me selfish but I want my woman all to myself. If you want an open relationship go for it, but I think it's a bad idea because of the risk of STDs, kids growing up with two parents that have never even lived in the same household, swelling of orphanages, and greater risk of overpopulation. I believe we need to use the brain between our ears, but that's just me.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I'd want to try it if the people involved seemed willing to not be jealous and share the love if you know what I mean.

Otherwise, it would fail pretty quickly.

 

[nothinghere]

A lot of people keep saying no because sex is a loving act when it is only a reproductive act. The emotions you place in an action do not define that action. If me and someone else were watching paint dry and he just started crying at how beautiful the act of it changing was, that wouldn't make Paint drying a dramatic and emotional act. If someone were to go outside and rape someone I doubt there would be love in it. I could see how this would be a problem if its only about the sex but if you actually love all the people in the relationship then that would be different. All in all, its not my life so i couldn't care less.