Poll: Abortion : Should men get a say?

[Russel1]

The man shouldn't be forced, but it's his child and he should make SOME room in his life for it. How much of his life he gives up is up to them to discuss. Since she is the one who wants to keep it then she probably won't expect much from him if he didn't want her to have it.

In all situations like this I'd say the dad must be involved is some way, and they should find a way to make it work.

I hope that most dads would WANT to be involved with their kids..

 

[annoyinglizardvoice]

Someone else on these forums had a good point a fair while ago.

S/he said that if both parents want to abort, fine. However if say the man wants to keep it but the woman does not he should be able to keep it. That he should be able to go to the courts and stop her having an abortion however he must pay for her living during the 9 months and for a while after until she is fit to work again, pay a fee for the child, pay for any medical bills and such. Also he may have to pay for cosmetic surgery for the woman as who wants a sagging gut and stretch marks?
If the woman wants to keep it but the man wants to abort. He should have no legal obligations to either of them. Abortions are relatively safe right? She could have it removed but chose to keep it. Why should that tie a man to her for the next 18 years because she wants to be selfish? [Edit]But that should only apply when it is still in the first trimester. Don't want a guy planning on having a baby with a girl, waiting till it is too late to have an abortion then backing out and leaving the chick with the problem.[/end of edit]

The original posts points may have been different as this is just running from memory but you get the point.
(Also, side note. You may want to run the original post through a spell checker. People are fussy about that.)

I'm sorry but I must seriously disagree with this (particularly the first part). Childbrith is one of the most painful things a human being can go though, so I don't think that it can be justified for a woman to be forced to have a kid that she doesn't want. The conditions you (or the person you're refferencing) suggest, while cushy and generous, still imply that the woman in question is being forced to exist according to someone else's will rather than living her own life, which to me too closly resembles slavery to be justified.
If a man is clear that he has no interest in the fetus while it is still abortable, then he should not have to pay anything towards the kid if the woman does decide to keep it, as the choice to keep it has clearly been her's alone, so he should not be penalised for her refusal to abort.

I would also like to comment that I believe that a) a persons pro-life beliefs should not be allowed to cause problems for anyone other than themselves and b) that the time limit for abortions should be increased for reasons of convenience and practicallity (the misanthopic part of me says to 1000 weeks ).

 

[Russel1]

[accidently double post]

 

[Epitome]

To all the people saying its her body, she can do whatever the fuck she wants with it. No, you're wrong. Its her body, with something of mine in it.

In my opinion, within the first month of a pregnancy there should be made a clear choice about what each party wants. If the man doesn't wish to, and the women does then the man should be able to come to an agreement that the man isn't responsible if she wishes to keep it. He would be able to choose how much she can say about the true father and such.

If after a month the father hasn't made his views on the matter aware he should be held responsible in full.

A month from when though? A month form onception many many women wouldnt even know themselves they were pregnant and after that many will take tme to tell the father often telling their own friends first? so a month from when she tells him? Thats open to abuse, very open

 

[GloatingSwine]

To all the people saying its her body, she can do whatever the fuck she wants with it. No, you're wrong. Its her body, with something of mine in it.

And if you're agreeing to have it transplanted into your body, to have it hijack your metabolism for nine months, and to have a baseball pulled out of your asshole at the end of it, then you can get a say.

 

[Epitome]

To all the people saying its her body, she can do whatever the fuck she wants with it. No, you're wrong. Its her body, with something of mine in it.

And if you're agreeing to have it transplanted into your body, to have it hijack your metabolism for nine months, and to have a baseball pulled out of your asshole at the end of it, then you can get a say.

How colourful.....

 

[The Bandit]

I'm astounded by this poll. Really. It's the epitome of arrogance to tell a woman what she should do with her body. No, the man has absolutely no say in the matter. I believe the couple should try to reach a consensus together, but ultimately it's her body, her decision.

Her body yes, but half his kid, dna half his a biological link to the father, so its not entirely her body.And if is your position that it is her choice no matter what should the father be able to sever legal ties completely if he wishes it?

Absolutely. If she gets pregnant, and he says "look, I don't want this kid" and she says "tough shit" then he shouldn't have to put up with it. He's not enslaving her to some financial doom. If she's against abortion, put him up for adoption.

Adoptions always seemed cruel to me though, you hear teh occasional horror story of foster kids who have the shittest run of things? Could you be hapy knowing you may have condemened your child to that and never be able to check in?

I agree, but I said IF you're against abortion. If it were my choice, I would much rather just kill the stupid thing and move on with my life. But, the point being, it isn't my choice.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

Yes. After all he was involved in it, and it effects the man too.

But I don't think the male should be able to flat out say to the woman, "Your getting an abortion. That's final. Now lets go."

They're called couples, so both get a say.

 

[Rimefrost]

My friends have recently had an argument over something like this. Most of the girls I know want it to be a women-only decision while the guys I know are kind of divided. I do feel I have to vote the case by case option, because in the instance of rape, it should be a women-only decision, while if it's a couple then the child in question is just as much the man's as it is the women's.

If its rape the fathers hardly gonna show up and lay claim to the, unlikely but i suppose all eventualities must be accounted for, i agree in this case that the woman should have total say, but you would have problems with accusations of rape from women who wanted to keep the child. now i want rapist to have their balls removed and sent to general population in teh penal system with nothing but an empty jar of ky. But i feel bad for the guys who get accused of rape by woemn for whatever reason as your rep never gets back from that. So imagine woman finds out shes pregnant before man (likely), and comes "forward" and says she was raped, so as to in her mind protect her unborn son/daughter from the father who she would know would want it terminated. How do we prevent this?

I may have misspoke … However, if a man is fighting so hard for the woman to abort the baby that the woman has to cry rape to get her way, then the couple in question does not have much of a future together and the man might as well leave the child to her. I was thinking more along the lines of if the man wanted the child and the woman didn’t. It should not be a woman only choice, but this does not mean that it is a man only choice either. If there can be no agreement made between the two then perhaps the issue can be taken to court, similar to a couple fighting over a child’s custody.

Another reason I figure this issue is a case by case scenario is that if the woman is proven to be in bad physical condition to have a child, then the decision should rest more with her, as it is not only the child that is at stake, but her own future as well.

 

[Seanchaidh]

To all the people saying its her body, she can do whatever the fuck she wants with it. No, you're wrong. Its her body, with something of mine in it.

So if I were to pleasure myself in your car, I'd have a claim to the seats? I guess that brings a whole new meaning to marking one's territory.

 

[Epitome]

My friends have recently had an argument over something like this. Most of the girls I know want it to be a women-only decision while the guys I know are kind of divided. I do feel I have to vote the case by case option, because in the instance of rape, it should be a women-only decision, while if it's a couple then the child in question is just as much the man's as it is the women's.

If its rape the fathers hardly gonna show up and lay claim to the, unlikely but i suppose all eventualities must be accounted for, i agree in this case that the woman should have total say, but you would have problems with accusations of rape from women who wanted to keep the child. now i want rapist to have their balls removed and sent to general population in teh penal system with nothing but an empty jar of ky. But i feel bad for the guys who get accused of rape by woemn for whatever reason as your rep never gets back from that. So imagine woman finds out shes pregnant before man (likely), and comes "forward" and says she was raped, so as to in her mind protect her unborn son/daughter from the father who she would know would want it terminated. How do we prevent this?

I may have misspoke … However, if a man is fighting so hard for the woman to abort the baby that the woman has to cry rape to get her way, then the couple in question does not have much of a future together and the man might as well leave the child to her. I was thinking more along the lines of if the man wanted the child and the woman didn’t. It should not be a woman only choice, but this does not mean that it is a man only choice either. If there can be no agreement made between the two then perhaps the issue can be taken to court, similar to a couple fighting over a child’s custody.

Another reason I figure this issue is a case by case scenario is that if the woman to be not in good physical condition to have a child, then the decision should rest more with her, as it is not only the child that is at stake, but her own future as well.

In Ireland here we had that case to set precedent, the womans health was at risk if she had the child so court okayed travel to the UK (though the whole thing was a fuck up start to finish). I can see the arguemnet for the man wanting to have the child teh woman not, but really i cant see a way for the man to win that one, if she dont want it the best a court could do is an injunction against an abortion and then she either does it anon and claims miscarrige while truth is dr patient seceret, or abuses her own health to the point of forcing a miscarrige. My point is i dont see teh father winning many cases where he wants to keep the kid

 

[Nmil-ek]

No the more abortions the better we are already vastly pushing acceptable numbers of humans, hell go adopt some poor kid whos going to end up in a shithole if you dont all the joys of having a child minus the poop and vomit years win/win.

 

[Rimefrost]

My friends have recently had an argument over something like this. Most of the girls I know want it to be a women-only decision while the guys I know are kind of divided. I do feel I have to vote the case by case option, because in the instance of rape, it should be a women-only decision, while if it's a couple then the child in question is just as much the man's as it is the women's.

If its rape the fathers hardly gonna show up and lay claim to the, unlikely but i suppose all eventualities must be accounted for, i agree in this case that the woman should have total say, but you would have problems with accusations of rape from women who wanted to keep the child. now i want rapist to have their balls removed and sent to general population in teh penal system with nothing but an empty jar of ky. But i feel bad for the guys who get accused of rape by woemn for whatever reason as your rep never gets back from that. So imagine woman finds out shes pregnant before man (likely), and comes "forward" and says she was raped, so as to in her mind protect her unborn son/daughter from the father who she would know would want it terminated. How do we prevent this?

I may have misspoke … However, if a man is fighting so hard for the woman to abort the baby that the woman has to cry rape to get her way, then the couple in question does not have much of a future together and the man might as well leave the child to her. I was thinking more along the lines of if the man wanted the child and the woman didn’t. It should not be a woman only choice, but this does not mean that it is a man only choice either. If there can be no agreement made between the two then perhaps the issue can be taken to court, similar to a couple fighting over a child’s custody.

Another reason I figure this issue is a case by case scenario is that if the woman to be not in good physical condition to have a child, then the decision should rest more with her, as it is not only the child that is at stake, but her own future as well.

In Ireland here we had that case to set precedent, the womans health was at risk if she had the child so court okayed travel to the UK (though the whole thing was a fuck up start to finish). I can see the arguemnet for the man wanting to have the child teh woman not, but really i cant see a way for the man to win that one, if she dont want it the best a court could do is an injunction against an abortion and then she either does it anon and claims miscarrige while truth is dr patient seceret, or abuses her own health to the point of forcing a miscarrige. My point is i dont see teh father winning many cases where he wants to keep the kid

This is true, and no matter what kind of laws are passed it is always going to be true. Fact of the matter is if the woman wants the abortion bad enough, there's really nothing the man can do to stop that, considering she is the one carrying the child. I just think the man deserves his fair say despite the fact that ultimately, the decision rests with the woman (if she is willing to go to such drastic measures) whether the man likes it or not.

 

[Azraellod]

i think that it should work like this:

the woman decides if she wants to keep the child or not. however, if the man does not want the child, he can leave the proceedings and avoid paying child support but in the process he relinquishes all rights to the child. he has no right to see it, or the right to know where it is.

i believe that some other people voiced this opinion on a previous thread similar to this one.

 

[park92]

they should both agree on something if not well your screwed

 

[pompom8volt]

I believe that if the man wants her to get an abortion and she dosen't then ether A) he has to pay for it. or B) He has no legal tie to the mother or child.

 

[MelziGurl]

You cannot expect a woman to have an abortion simply because her stance is opposite to the mans. Ultimately, it's her choice. Life's not meant to be fair, deal with it. Men don't carry babies, and some think they can root whoever, however and whenever they want. Smart men would actually make sure they are using condoms and THEIR condoms only, there are women out their that would do ANYTHING to trap a guy. Know the person you are sleeping with, be sure about their stance on abortion. If you are going to have a one night stand with a complete stranger to who's background you have no idea about, you deserve whatever consequences you might get from it.

Great in theory but what about defective condoms, like all things mass produced there will be some quality control issues, and een thne they are far from failsafe outside lab conditions i thin kthey fall to 95%ish, of course tahts not the only factor ttom etc all have a role to play. But if your condoms fail do you really deserve an 18 year (minimum) responsibility?

True, I didn't think of defective ones. But it's still a risk you're taking. That's why I said, you should know the person you are sleeping with or at least where they stand, rather than a stranger you know nothing about. I made it a point to let my boyfriend knows 3 years ago when we started going out that I would never abort. Luckily he shares my view, but mainly because of his religion.

See you two are in the position where protocal has been established and you both agree on the course of action, which is great. But imagine for the sake of arguement it happened to you, birth control fails nobdoys to blame just a shit happens situation. Imagine he gets cold feet and wants you to have the abortion (hypothetical i dont wanna cause offence with this) You that have been with him 3 years you must love him, so you must care for his feelings and in this case his fears yes? or is he to blame for chickening out? and if he didnt want it could you knowingly bring a child into the world who is never going to have a biological father, could you fincially support this child without him (again hypothetical). Is it responsible here to ignore the fathers wishes and bring a child into a world that you may not be able to provide for? One last disclaimer i wasnt trying to offend in anyway just painting the situation.

Hypothetically, if he chickened out then there isn't much that can be done. Yes, I care about his feelings, but the matter was discussed that I am not under any circumstances having an abortion. My feelings have to be taken into account also and I would honestly be selfish enough to put them first. If he wanted to relinquish his rights as a father, then so be it, I wouldn't want to force him into paying for a child he didn't want. I have also discussed this situation with him and he has told me he would still take responsibility for the child even if I told him he didn't have to pay. But, because neither of us is in a position to care for a child financially, we try to be extra cautious. And don't worry, I don't take offence to things so easily

Some men want to be fathers, not all men run from fatherhood, even on accident, most of you assume all men hate the idea of having kids.

Most of you assume all men love it.

I made it a point to let my boyfriend knows 3 years ago when we started going out that I would never abort. Luckily he shares my view, but mainly because of his religion.

I love how so many women are against abortion for religious reasons, but aren't so religious when it comes to premarital sex.

I will say it again, HIS religious views. I don't view abortion on a religious scale. I am religious, but it's something I'm not devout about. Please read things more carefully.