I wasn't going to do this. I really wasn't, but I have to point out that raising a kid isn't black and white. Every kid, for lack of a better term, is an individual snowflake and thus is going to respond differently to different methods of parenting. Assuming one way of raising a child is "better" per sec, than the next is simply an act of ignorance. This, of course, is assuming that the line between discipline and abuse is not crossed, whether it be emotionally, verbally of physically.
I like to use myself and my 2 years younger brother as an example on how each child is different and how different circumstances can lead to different outcomes, even if its something as small as a personality difference. My brother has ADHD and other various personality disorders. I, though I have not seen a psychologist, for the most part do not exhibit serious mental or personality disorders. My parents did the basic corporal punishment in extreme situations, and only as a last resort. Breaking a vase, or roughhousing in the house got a stern talking to; talking back to my parents resulting in either a mouthful of soap, or a trip to the corner and hitting my parents or others resulted in a spanking with a wooden spoon, belt, or willow switch that you had to go and pick yourself. This was the escalating sequence of punishment.
As most kids do, we all found ourselves getting into some sort of trouble and we were punished according to the hierarchy of punishments. I learned from the talking to, the corner and spanking. It was easy for me to put together the idiocy= Punishment and so my punishments were lesser than those of my brother, who took a little longer to "submit" per sec to the way that my parents wished things to be done. In my opinion this was an efficient way to parent, but then you look at my brother who does have a severe learning disability when it comes to this kind of thing. We have to ask; was this the best way to raise him? I am inclined to say no in his case. Why is this? When you have a stubborn personality, mixed with a learning disability, perhaps it is less effective, and in this case proved to be so, as opposed to my quicker learning.
Moving away from the corporal side of this. We look at the less physical examples of parenting. Do you have people that this would work for in terms of parenting? Yes we do, but you also have those who abuse the parents lack of physical discipline, as you have abusers of any system. In my opinion it isn't about the methods you discipline your child with, but instead the tone that you take with the raising of the child. Something that has been proven to be effective in raising most children, of course there being exceptions, is the idea of "authoritative parenting." This does not mean corporal punishment, but instead is the tone you use that establishes that you are the parent of this house and have certain standards and rules set. The difference between this and the "Authoritarian Parenting" that is inflexible and rigid, is that you are willing to talk and compromise and discuss with your children, rather than being a dictator in your own home. The problems with authoritarian parenting can be contrasted with the "dismissive parenting" that sets the tone of uncaring and can lead to unruly kids as fast as the authoritarian does.
In conclusion I must say that the tone you set with raising your child is more important than the methods you go about setting the tone. If a stern talking to is enough to prove that you are in charge, or a swat on the ass does the trick, then who is to say that the other methods are wrong. If your kids can respect you without fearing you, then I believe that you are going about the right way of parenting your kid. the problem again comes down to each child being different and this is why flexible parenting is the best way about raising them. You need to be able to adapt to each kid's personalities and quirks and treat them as such. Every kid is a gamble and like all games of chance, sometimes you're lucky enough to win, sometimes you lose badly, and hopefully, most of the time you end up breaking even.
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