If your fiancee is cool with this, go ahead. You're not cheating on her since she consented. I see no reason not to.
Poll: Looking for real advice not moral zealots
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She says its something she would never be interested in, she likes the idea of the girl cause we can share her, we wouldn't be able to share a guy so to speak. I told her if she wanted to with a guy one day, to be fair I would do it, and she said she never thinks she will. Cross that bridge when we get to it.(benefit of dating an open minded girl, semi-bisexual girl)sallene said:
I'm going to say lay back and let what happens happen because yes it could complicate things but at the same if it doesn't and the event goes off without a hitch you have not only an amazing night but a story for the ages. Not worth the deliberate risk but that doesn't mean you should destroy the possibility.
Well, there ya go.VitalSigns said:
But I will repeat my advice from before, any chick(even a good friend) you ask you should ask to get tested before bringin them into your bed. Its not about paranoia its about sexual responsiblity, even if you are going to use a condom you should still cover all your bases before committing to anything.
I numbered your list for my convenience. I hope you don't mind.VitalSigns said:
Point #1 is okay. If you're both okay with it, that's a green light. Point #2 isn't really worth commenting on. Point #4 ties back into point #1. If you're up for it, that's a green light. If you're not, red. Point #5 is just silly bravado. Of course there are men, who are interested in sex, who wouldn't want to have a threesome, inside our outside a relationship. The stereotype of all men being sex driven frat boys is unbecoming. (Yes, I'm aware that Freud's my avatar.)
Do you want it? You shouldn't care about what "every guy" would want.
Now, point #3 should give you some concern. You want to have a sexual relationship, with your friend who you have feelings for. You have to ask yourself: Is this really about a threesome, or is it about the girl? What's going to happen after the threesome? Will things change between you and your girlfriend? Will things change between you and your friend?
If you don't like the answers to these questions, and your girlfriend isn't clear on any of these points, don't do it. Otherwise, have fun.
Fair enough. I continue to disagree in many respects. I will grant the point on some grounds, however, with the necessity of having a stable job being at the top of the list...Propagandasaurus said:Actually, I didn't just mean sexually.pwiggi said:Well, not really. It was just a convenient excuse.AC10 said:did you really join the forums to post this??
It's good advice it just seems unusual for a first post
I keep seeing threads I would reply to, if I had an account. My possibly misplaced desire to spew advice about the possibilities of open sexuality just overcame the inertia.
As someone who is both married and polyamorous (I think it safe to say polyamory implies a certain adventurousness of spirit, in this context), I respectfully disagree.Propagandasaurus said:
(Edit to add: note that polyamory doesn't necessarily equate with casual sex, and in fact doesn't in my case... but there are lots of ways to do it, so to speak)
I'll go with my normal attitude and say screw worrying and plans! The fact that you've seen the problems coming says to me that you're savy enough to deal with any that might ariseVitalSigns said:
Also, I'm gonna spout some religion on you, not because I actually believe it, but because it's logical and makes sense. Here goes:
Buddhists reckon that even a 'wrong' action can be good for your karma, because there's more than just the act itself. I can't remember the others, but one of them is the intention. If the intention is good, then it can make a morally questionably act OK
In this instance, the threesome has possible problems, but you're not doing this to cheat on your fiancée, are you? Your intentions are good, and no one is thinking 'bad' thoughts, so I think the result should be good, no?
VitalSigns said:
Do it, if the three of you want it, and can approach it as adults what is holding you back? Don't listen to the haters on here, they can't comprehend this situation as adults and most likely have never been in a situation like this. My advice is to agree to do it, but let your fiancee get the ball rolling, let her lead, and go off of her. The rest will work out naturally.
Couldn't you have named this thread something more appropriate? Like... "Hey everyone, I'm going to have a threesome".
If that's not the case, and you're actually uncertain as to whether or not it's a good idea I've got to say that running the risk of messing up a seemingly serious relationship should be a strong deterrent.
Felt like I had to add the second part so I wouldn't seem like a complete troll =P
If that's not the case, and you're actually uncertain as to whether or not it's a good idea I've got to say that running the risk of messing up a seemingly serious relationship should be a strong deterrent.
Felt like I had to add the second part so I wouldn't seem like a complete troll =P
Stop complaining and bonk them already. Two hot girls? I cant even get one. Consider yourself lucky that you manage to even get yourself in this pickle.
Or is this just an offhand way for you to brag? The topic title is suspicous and smells of trolldom to me.
Or is this just an offhand way for you to brag? The topic title is suspicous and smells of trolldom to me.
Make it clear with the other girl that whatever happens, you will always stay with your fiancée. If you and her can be clear on that, go for it. It's a one in a lifetime experience. So if she understands, and if you are absolutely sure you will still stay with your fiancée, you should go for it and I hope that it'll be fun.
Then again, I don't know much about threesomes, some say it's great, some say it's an over -hyped meaningless thing. Ask for some advice from those who've had one(and aren't stupid).
Then again, I don't know much about threesomes, some say it's great, some say it's an over -hyped meaningless thing. Ask for some advice from those who've had one(and aren't stupid).
ok,
1. make sure you give both of them a good time
2. prob spend most of your time pleasing your fiancee
3. enjoy it!
i was lucky and had the same sort of experiance will never regret it good times good times.
although i do know a few girls who have given ther bf a threesome and they said it was horrible coz one of them felt left out... another one was the guy blew his load far to early hahaha
1. make sure you give both of them a good time
2. prob spend most of your time pleasing your fiancee
3. enjoy it!
i was lucky and had the same sort of experiance will never regret it
good times good times.although i do know a few girls who have given ther bf a threesome and they said it was horrible coz one of them felt left out... another one was the guy blew his load far to early hahaha
I don't think you should do it. The girl who has expressed emotions for you will only be intensified. It's a bad deal dude.
Find someone with no emotional attachment to either of you, then wrap it and tap it.
Find someone with no emotional attachment to either of you, then wrap it and tap it.
You do realize there's more to sex than, "penis goes in vagina," right? You have hands and a mouth. You can do a lot with those.3.141592654 said:
Talk about being stck between a rock and a sexy place! While a threesome would be AWESOME, there is still to consider what there is to lose... Afterwards your fiance' could be weirded out because she wasn't as open minded as you think, or your friend will become too clingy and even more emotionally attatched to you (especially if you're sexually compatable!) afterwards they could both feel alienated and both not anything to do with you afterwards, then there's the final possibility that everything goes over smoothly, and no complications arise from it! Those are the cards you have on the table right now, but I can't tell you which one to pick...
I wonder how many people who have had a threesome in a serious relationship would actually recommend it?
Basically parts of this thread sound like geeky, horny young men talking about something they have no idea about. It sounds like you want something more practical than "threesomes are awesome (even though I've never had one)" bs that seems to spill from guy's mouths. The only advice I'll give is Dr. Drew from Loveline doesn't think most relationships survive a threesome. I'm not sure if that is true, but if you really don't want to screw things up with your fiancee (like if she is rich), I wouldn't do it. But, if you think you'll wind up doing it later, might as well get it out of the way now.
Basically parts of this thread sound like geeky, horny young men talking about something they have no idea about. It sounds like you want something more practical than "threesomes are awesome (even though I've never had one)" bs that seems to spill from guy's mouths. The only advice I'll give is Dr. Drew from Loveline doesn't think most relationships survive a threesome. I'm not sure if that is true, but if you really don't want to screw things up with your fiancee (like if she is rich), I wouldn't do it. But, if you think you'll wind up doing it later, might as well get it out of the way now.