Poll: Looking for real advice not moral zealots

[NoNameMcgee]

I definitely love her, A lot. that being said if we did break-up I would be able to go on.

I don't get you man. You obviously know there is a risk of this messing your relationship up, but you are willing to take the risk, and even go as far as to say "you would be able to go on" as if you're preparing yourself for the potential consequences. Seriously, a loving relationship is hella more important than fullfulling a sexual desire. I know you want to 'be a man' here and do the thing you can brag to your friends about, but look at the bigger picture, please. Don't take the risk.

If the other girl didn't have feelings for you I would say, go for it, it's just fun; but this isn't the case and there is a risk of some nasty complications.

By the way, threesomes are alright, but overrated. It's just another thing guys want to do, but in reality is awkward. It's not about your sexual abilities but simply the fact of there being three people. 2 is good, 4 is probably good, 3 doesn't work so well.

 

[VitalSigns]

I definitely love her, A lot. that being said if we did break-up I would be able to go on.

I don't get you man. You obviously know there is a risk of this messing your relationship up, but you are willing to take the risk, and even go as far as to say "you would be able to go on" as if you're preparing yourself for the potential consequences. Seriously, a loving relationship is hella more important than fullfulling a sexual desire. I know you want to 'be a man' here and do the thing you can brag to your friends about, but look at the bigger picture, please. Don't take the risk.

If the other girl didn't have feelings for you I would say, go for it, it's just fun; but this isn't the case and there is a risk of some nasty complications.

By the way, threesomes are alright, but overrated. It's just another thing guys want to do, but in reality is awkward. It's not about your sexual abilities but simply the fact of there being three people. 2 is good, 4 is probably good, 3 doesn't work so well.

Haha considering were all friends, I wouldn't be telling my friends about it at all. Don't need the judgement and having to constantly explain it to people. As for the risk I know its there and I do love her, but im not going to pretend i'd kill myself if I lost her. Im not sure what I'm gonna do to be honest, im gonna talk to both girls a lot more. I'm not doing this too brag or feel like I'm a man im doing it because im generally interested.

 

[PyriteOkio]

Just think of it as last party b4 marriage.

 

[VitalSigns]

Also to clear some stuff up.

-NOT TROLLING
-Me and my girlfriend are not in an open relationship, we just want to try this at least once.
-I will be explaining the friends feelings to my girlfriend to see what she says.

 

[magnuslion]

Yeah id dodge this one not on moral implications, but based on the headache its likely to cause you down the road. what may be acceptable to your fiancee now could become a sticking point depending on what happens at the actual event. so id just say no to all the drama and crap that is likely top come from this. if it wasn't a serious relationship, i would say go for it.

 

[Rigs83]

"It's a trap!"
General Ackbar

 

[Rigs83]

I have been with my Fiancee for 2 and a half years, our mutual friend is coming up to stay the weekend and visit, our friend was talking to me in private and made a "joke" about a threesome. Girlfriend found out and to my surprise said she would be cool with it. So this should all be good right? The Catch: this other girl has expressed to me a few times that she has legitimate romantic feelings for me, and I once actually told her I had them back but I wasn't going to leave my Fiancee. I'm scared this could also complicate things, that being said both girls are stunningly attractive, smart, fun etc, and I want to do this pretty bad. Is it worth the risk of the complications to have a wicked and memorable night?

EDIT*** Clear up some things

-Me and my fiancee are very open minded.
-This is not something She is doing just cause she thinks i'd like it, we have talked about the idea of a threesome for a while now
-Other girl (the friend) said that any feelings she may have for me are under control and would not let this become a problem. (she could just be saying that however)
-I am confident in my sexual abilities and truly don't feel this would be either awkward, or laughable.
-Any guy with a libido would want this to happen.

Be careful what you wish for?
Old Chinese Proverb

 

[Avatar Roku]

Also to clear some stuff up.

-NOT TROLLING
-Me and my girlfriend are not in an open relationship, we just want to try this at least once.
-I will be explaining the friends feelings to my girlfriend to see what she says.

That last bullet point was going to be my advice at first, but honestly, it might be better to get a different third, someone who isn't emotionally attached to you or your fiance at all. There's just too much potential for it to go awry as it is.

 

[phwbt]

The potential for EXTREME amounts of drama far outweigh the rewards. If your fiance was just some girl you happened to be going out with and your friend's friendship didn't really mean anything to you I'd say "Go for it". But as you explain it, it's a powder keg of potential kicks in the ass down the road.

 

[lizards]

hell ya

 

[phwbt]

the other girl (Shouldve mentioned this) said that any feelings she has are under control and she would not let them become a problem.

Ha ha ha ha ha....ahhhhhhh. That's what she says before your pet rabbit goes missing*.


*see "bunny boiler"

ps. When did feelings become something that we "let" happen?

 

[theSovietConnection]

Judging by the fact that two beautiful women want to have sex with you, I'm assuming that the guy in your avatar isn't you?

I got ignored.

No you didn't, thats the best thing on this thread right now.

*resumes cleaning up milk*

Fuck it, I voted yes. If it works out, you've had an amazing experience, if not, we get to watch you crash and burn. It's really win-win, isn't it?

 

[tsb247]

I'm scared this could also complicate things

The fact that you uttered this statement and made this thread with this poll should answer your questionjust fine. You already know there are some huge risks here, and it sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to do something that you really don't want to do (even if it is only a tiny voice in the back of your head telling you not to).

I would say not to. I know... I turned down a threesome myself because I did not want the drama (and some other reasons as well). I have thought about what it would have been like from time to time, but ultimately I am happier where I am now. One of the girls that was potentially involved has stated that we would not be together now if we had gone through with it, and we have been together for over a year. We are quite happy too!

You really need to ask yourself, "Is it worth throwing away two years for maybe a few hours of fun?"

I think you already know the answer.

 

[PirateKing]

I remember hearing a so called "sexpert" talking, and she said that it's best if you and your partner don't know the third person very well.
I don't think you should do it.
(Not speaking from experience)

 

[tratorix]

It is your duty as a man to do this.

 

[tsb247]

snippity snip

I'll go with my normal attitude and say screw worrying and plans! The fact that you've seen the problems coming says to me that you're savy enough to deal with any that might arise

Also, I'm gonna spout some religion on you, not because I actually believe it, but because it's logical and makes sense. Here goes:
Buddhists reckon that even a 'wrong' action can be good for your karma, because there's more than just the act itself. I can't remember the others, but one of them is the intention. If the intention is good, then it can make a morally questionably act OK
In this instance, the threesome has possible problems, but you're not doing this to cheat on your fiancée, are you? Your intentions are good, and no one is thinking 'bad' thoughts, so I think the result should be good, no?

There's a problem here... That logic can be used to justify ANYTHING (stealing, murder, punching puppies, etc.). I'm no Buddhist, but my Buddhist friends would probably question that statement if they posted here.