SEX!!!

[Vondrakenhof]

Sex is important. It's not the most important thing in a relationship by far, but it is still important. Orgasms make people happy, and making your partner happy is what a relationship is all about. Not to mention how much closer the two of you feel after sex.

Now to address a few ideas brought up on this thread:

A relationship based entirely on sex is not doomed to fail. It is just as likely to change as to end. I know a couple whose relationship started out just for the sex. It's two and a half years later and they're still together and madly in love.

Sex is not disgusting. It is as natural as breathing, eating and drinking. It is one of the most wholesome and natural experiences in the world.

All those things sex causes? Diseases and pregnancy? That's what condoms are for!

Humans are animals. We may have a higher functioning brain but we're still animals, still victims to instinct. The only difference is we can choose to ignore those instincts if we wish.

And that's about it...

 

[Xanadeas]

Well, I really don't understand why people care about it so much, or even want to have it, for that matter. It is disgusting, in actuality. I mean, all the bodily fluids, disease, and proximity to the anus 'n what not...
I'm stayin' a virgin until I find a lifelong mate who can make that sound appealing. (among other qualities of course.)

Let's see:
It feels great/second only to hard drugs
It is intimate.
Surely if you loved someone you'd want to be intimate?
No offence, but saying it's disgusting is more telling of your age than any actual truth of the matter.

No, you cannot deny that sex is disgusting. The only thing is, you have hormones that tell you to ignore that fact and enjoy it anyway. I don't take kindly to ageism, and considering your reasons for why sex is good, I stand by the idea that maturity is more important than age.

Alright you've explained this person's reason for feeling that sex isn't disgusting but what about mine? I have never had sex once in my life yet I feel that if the right person came by I'd be more than willing to have sex with them. Sex, in my eyes, is an act of passion and of love. How do you justify saying that sex is disgusting? Do you dislike the fact that there's a form of fluid exchange? People do that just KISSING. It seems to me you've got a very narrow minded view of the whole thing.

 

[Xanadeas]

Well, I really don't understand why people care about it so much, or even want to have it, for that matter. It is disgusting, in actuality. I mean, all the bodily fluids, disease, and proximity to the anus 'n what not...
I'm stayin' a virgin until I find a lifelong mate who can make that sound appealing. (among other qualities of course.)

Let's see:
It feels great/second only to hard drugs
It is intimate.
Surely if you loved someone you'd want to be intimate?
No offence, but saying it's disgusting is more telling of your age than any actual truth of the matter.

No, you cannot deny that sex is disgusting. The only thing is, you have hormones that tell you to ignore that fact and enjoy it anyway. I don't take kindly to ageism, and considering your reasons for why sex is good, I stand by the idea that maturity is more important than age.

Then why did you say that you "really don't understand why people care about it so much, or even want to have it, for that matter" if you realize that people "have hormones that tell you to ignore that fact and enjoy it anyway"?

Also, many women enjoy the proximity to the anus...and I've heard gay guys are kinda big on that bullet point too.

Yes, yes we are quite big on that whole anal sex thing, aren't we?

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Is this thread taking place on Bizarro World?

This site apparently takes place on bizzaro world.

 

[Erana]

Well, I really don't understand why people care about it so much, or even want to have it, for that matter. It is disgusting, in actuality. I mean, all the bodily fluids, disease, and proximity to the anus 'n what not...
I'm stayin' a virgin until I find a lifelong mate who can make that sound appealing. (among other qualities of course.)

Let's see:
It feels great/second only to hard drugs
It is intimate.
Surely if you loved someone you'd want to be intimate?
No offence, but saying it's disgusting is more telling of your age than any actual truth of the matter.

No, you cannot deny that sex is disgusting. The only thing is, you have hormones that tell you to ignore that fact and enjoy it anyway. I don't take kindly to ageism, and considering your reasons for why sex is good, I stand by the idea that maturity is more important than age.

You talk about maturity yet are saying that a man putting his penis into a woman's vagina is disgusting. If you can't see past that then you have a lot of growing up to do.
Learn a little about biology. How is sex, the one thing that creates life, disgusting?
Personally, I think that having a hole that runs through my entire body is somewhat disgusting. But that's life. Disgusting is subjective anyway.
And how the ***** can you seriously say that being intimate is an immature view on sex?
You are going to look back at this in a few years and realise how absurd & immature what you are saying is.
I'm not ageist, but don't be conceited.

I took a course on women's biology. It was disgusting. And I wasn't talking about being repulsed by intimacy or the creation of life, I was talking about the fact that you would compare something to hard drugs.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great. It is about eleven minutes worth of something that may or may not be pleasurable, and is often awkward. Our society has further laden sex with shame, and you may have well ruined the relationship you once had with someone you care about. And people don't always have sex for sex, it is a filler, an attempt to deal with real life problems, much akin to worry-eating or drinking away one's cares.
Its like Disneyland. Everyone practically worships it as the ideal place for bliss and togetherness, but really, you're just sweaty, dirty, out a few hundred dollars, and you could have had as much fun from staying home and watching a movie.

 

[ElephantGuts]

As a stereotypical horny teenager, I can certainly appreciate sex. If only I ever had any to appreciate...

 

[vede]

Casual sex, I don't see the problem with. Are the people who are against casual sex here also against masturbation? Because really, that's the point of casual sex. It, in the psychological realm, is basically like extremely enhanced masturbation. You've got two people who are sort of friends, both find themselves wanting sexual release (the reason we masturbate), why would they use their hands when they could just as easily use each other? As long as both parties realize that it only is just super-masturbation they should be fine. And those two people have probably mutually agreed that they're okay with it, in which case people who argue against it are just trying to force their morals into other people's faces.

It's disappointing you don't understand how "use each other" is the reason why casual sex isn't the same thing as masturbation or sex in a relationship.

Why is using another person worse than using yourself, though...? I mean, if that's what you're each doing, then there should be no problem.

Ravensheart, note that I said that psychologically it is the same as masturbation. The two people aren't looking for any emotional baggage, just sexual release. We do it for the exact same reason we masturbate.

 

[Xanadeas]

Well, I really don't understand why people care about it so much, or even want to have it, for that matter. It is disgusting, in actuality. I mean, all the bodily fluids, disease, and proximity to the anus 'n what not...
I'm stayin' a virgin until I find a lifelong mate who can make that sound appealing. (among other qualities of course.)

Let's see:
It feels great/second only to hard drugs
It is intimate.
Surely if you loved someone you'd want to be intimate?
No offence, but saying it's disgusting is more telling of your age than any actual truth of the matter.

No, you cannot deny that sex is disgusting. The only thing is, you have hormones that tell you to ignore that fact and enjoy it anyway. I don't take kindly to ageism, and considering your reasons for why sex is good, I stand by the idea that maturity is more important than age.

Alright you've explained this person's reason for feeling that sex isn't disgusting but what about mine? I have never had sex once in my life yet I feel that if the right person came by I'd be more than willing to have sex with them. Sex, in my eyes, is an act of passion and of love. How do you justify saying that sex is disgusting? Do you dislike the fact that there's a form of fluid exchange? People do that just KISSING. It seems to me you've got a very narrow minded view of the whole thing.

It isn't all that clear, but I think the guy (girl?) means more how messy it is (I mean, the arse is pretty unclean), you know, things squirting all over the place...

And fair enough,it is pretty disgusting if you look at it THAT way. I guess that is what is meant by 'you [i/]cannot[/i] deny...'

Well if you look at anything from that point of view it can be called disgusting. The human body in and of itself is kinda gnarly. XD

 

[Willwillwritehiswill]

Sex and love...

It's like the graphics vs gameplay discussion all over again...

God, i'm such a huge nerd.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

I took a course on women's biology. It was disgusting. And I wasn't talking about being repulsed by intimacy or the creation of life, I was talking about the fact that you would compare something to hard drugs.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great. It is about eleven minutes worth of something that may or may not be pleasurable, and is often awkward. Our society has further laden sex with shame, and you may have well ruined the relationship you once had with someone you care about. And people don't always have sex for sex, it is a filler, an attempt to deal with real life problems, much akin to worry-eating or drinking away one's cares.
Its like Disneyland. Everyone practically worships it as the ideal place for bliss and togetherness, but really, you're just sweaty, dirty, out a few hundred dollars, and you could have had as much fun from staying home and watching a movie.

Which of course spontaneously leads to this question: Have you ever had any?

 

[Erana]

I took a course on women's biology. It was disgusting. And I wasn't talking about being repulsed by intimacy or the creation of life, I was talking about the fact that you would compare something to hard drugs.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great. It is about eleven minutes worth of something that may or may not be pleasurable, and is often awkward. Our society has further laden sex with shame, and you may have well ruined the relationship you once had with someone you care about. And people don't always have sex for sex, it is a filler, an attempt to deal with real life problems, much akin to worry-eating or drinking away one's cares.
Its like Disneyland. Everyone practically worships it as the ideal place for bliss and togetherness, but really, you're just sweaty, dirty, out a few hundred dollars, and you could have had as much fun from staying home and watching a movie.

Which of course spontaneously leads to this question: Have you ever had any?

No! Why the Hell would I go and loose my virginity at 17?
Why would I want to subjegate myself to something like that? I don't find joy in sexual activities, nor even the thought of it.
And I've seen the people who are having sex at my age. With few exceptions, they are making some of the worst choices in their life, without even addressing the intercourse.

I don't want sex to be something about pain, poor decisions, or risking diseases. It will come when it comes. At some point, I may find someone I fall in love with, and they may be right for me. If so, we will have a relationship. Sex may very well occur. If that happens, nothing will change on my opinion of sex as a disgusting, dangerous act, I will just (possibly) enjoy it anyway.
It seems so wrong to me that people raise sex to be the zenith of sensual experiences, without giving it any caution or respect.

And have you ever considered the idea that I am repulsed by sex and drugs not because of my age, but because I've seen some of how horrible and destructive both can be?

I don't get signals that tell me that there is goodness to be had in sex. All I see is the potential for pain, betrayal and heartbreak, which is a necessary toll for procreation. Sex can be intimate, but intimacy itself does not have to be sexual.

There's plenty of pain, betrayal, and heartbreak in *love* too.

Maybe you're just an asexual person--they exist--and you're explaining your orientation to yourself this way because it's easier to make sense of it this way. If your issue is with pain heartbreak and betrayal, you're *way* better off avoiding love than avoiding sex, so, this doesn't have to do with sex itself, it has to do with *your* sexual identity.

And sex is rarely a fit of passion. Don't lie to yourself and say such things. From what I have found from second-hand sources that don't rose-tint everything, its not really that great.

So if a source say sex is great, they "rose-tint everything" while if they say it isn't, they're reliable?

You're basically just disqualifying sources because they disagree with you.

At this point in my life, I am asexual. As a matter of heartbreak, I don't date and I don't invest too much of myself into other people. Whenever I think I've found a lifelong friend, I find that they think nothing of me.
I don't really trust people.

And I didn't mean that anyone who says that sex is great is wrong, I meant that... Well, the people I've found who are honest about sex have explained to me their experiences. The first time was so awkward, they had a hard time figuring out what really stimulated them, things like that. They described their best moments of intercourse. Some spoke of it as wonderful but fleeting, others lingered on the topic a little too long for my comfort. Of the women I talked to, a frequent problem was that no one told them that during sex, the clitoris would need to be stimulated, so they had gone decades without having had an orgasm during sex. Another person had had many partners, and had mostly good experiences with his sexual career.

I'm sorry, but the people who just say that all sex is the most amazing sensual experience in the world are... Well, I don't have any faith in broad, extreme generalizations.