The most horrific thing that has happened to your nobler parts

[D-Ballz]

I was in a theme park, wearing loose, baggy trousers, as I often do. I decided to go on a ride called the Terroriser, which you get strapped into, with a cage over you, etc, and then it spins upside down. Now, while the cagee ramming itself into my nuts was painful, that was just a precursor to what happened next.

As the ride started, I realised there was a problem. One of my nuts was stuck somewhere it shouldn't be, mainly on the wrong side of the cage (which was very, very close, obviously). When we went upside down, I also realised the belts strapping me in were a bit loose. They weren't loose enough for me to fall out, but they were loose enough for me to move a bit in my chair, which is unfortunate because my trapped testicle had no room to move.

I ended up hanging by one solitary gnad as I was flipped upside down on this ride. Again and again and again. This ride went on for about 5 minutes. I was screaming the entire time, solely because of the pain. When we got off, I somehow managed to hobble over to the nearest seat and sit down, discreetly massaging myself. (Gotta be discreet, don't want people to get the wrong idea!) It was about this time that the girl who was sat next to me on the ride came over and called me a pussy for screaming on it.

 

[E-Hybrid]

Got hit by a spear in medieval re-enactment, not a good session

 

[Distorted Stu]

On my bike, cat came outta fucking nowhere - slammed the front breaks (back ones broke), bike went forwards - i shifted my weight back to stop me going over the handle bars - slip off seat due to the speed - balls slam into the cross bar - BLEEDING - TEARS - SHAMEFUL 10 MINUTES CLUTCHING BALLS ON TOILET CRYING LIKE A *****.

I was gratful i still had two left, literally torn my scrotum. Lucky i didnt need stiches or out.

EDIT: I would like to add: Ladies, please be aware of your teeth.

 

[Sonicron]

Basically this.

Painful stuff, I kid you not. x_x

 

[Distorted Stu]

I was in a theme park, wearing loose, baggy trousers, as I often do. I decided to go on a ride called the Terroriser, which you get strapped into, with a cage over you, etc, and then it spins upside down. Now, while the cagee ramming itself into my nuts was painful, that was just a precursor to what happened next.

As the ride started, I realised there was a problem. One of my nuts was stuck somewhere it shouldn't be, mainly on the wrong side of the cage (which was very, very close, obviously). When we went upside down, I also realised the belts strapping me in were a bit loose. They weren't loose enough for me to fall out, but they were loose enough for me to move a bit in my chair, which is unfortunate because my trapped testicle had no room to move.

I ended up hanging by one solitary gnad as I was flipped upside down on this ride. Again and again and again. This ride went on for about 5 minutes. I was screaming the entire time, solely because of the pain. When we got off, I somehow managed to hobble over to the nearest seat and sit down, discreetly massaging myself. (Gotta be discreet, don't want people to get the wrong idea!) It was about this time that the girl who was sat next to me on the ride came over and called me a pussy for screaming on it.

Oh dear lord i hated the Terroriser. The same goes for the Verlocity ride due to its sheer ball crushing powers. Me and 6 other guys came of that ride walking liek cowboys and 1 on them couldnt get to the exit beause he was in so much pain.

MESSAGE TO THEME PARKS - PAD YOUR SAFETY EQUITMENT SO OUR EQUITMENT CAN BE SAFE.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

Does the word "zipper" mean anything to you?
Yeah, that happened to me once.

 

[Stephanos132]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.236492-Testicles-Lets-talk-about-em#8431887

Spoke on this already.

 

[IsraelRocks]

Long story short... got Ben-gay on my balls. the worst part of it all was the realization that its only going to get worse any minute

I WIN

 

[sharpshooter188]

Fortunately for me it was the standard punch to groin a couple times and a girl who was going down on me didnt retract her teeth until I said "OW." twice.

 

[D-Ballz]

When we got off, I somehow managed to hobble over to the nearest seat and sit down, discreetly massaging myself. (Gotta be discreet, don't want people to get the wrong idea!) It was about this time that the girl who was sat next to me on the ride came over and called me a pussy for screaming on it.

Oh dear lord i hated the Terroriser. The same goes for the Verlocity ride due to its sheer ball crushing powers. Me and 6 other guys came of that ride walking liek cowboys and 1 on them couldnt get to the exit beause he was in so much pain.

MESSAGE TO THEME PARKS - PAD YOUR SAFETY EQUITMENT SO OUR EQUITMENT CAN BE SAFE.

Definately... Ball crushing rides in theme parks are horrible. They should also make rollercoasters long-legs-friendly. I have long legs and dodgy knees. I went on the Wild Mouse in Flamingo Land. Pain ensued.

 

[My name is Fiction]

A girl bit me... I now have a scar...

Took nearly a month to heal...

"Well if you didn't use it so much maybe it would have healed faster" :3

 

[Griphphin]

Also, getting smacked in the nuts by a 8 tonn crane was kinda painfull

I'm surprised you didn't run away in terror when you first saw it.

Spoiler: It must have been huge

Badum-tish

A+
If I could package and sell that, I would xD

OT:I was playing baseball, and a fast ball pitch went so, so awry on the one day I forgot to wear a jockstrap >_<

 

[DudeistBelieve]

I got circumcised a few years ago. It wasn't pleasant.

 

[Sneeze]

Nothing major but once I was zipping up my laptop bag which happened to be on my sofa and with that at crotch level, my hand slipped off the zip but it kept moving; I effectively punched myself in the dick with quite a notable force. It made me feel funny. :c

 

[ShadowsofHope]

..Reading this thread.

Does that count?

 

[Evilsanta]

Wow...Reading some of this that has happend...I only gotten hit by some fotballs or basketballs.

 

[Saint_Zvlkx]

Soccer ball to the groin. I was playing goalie, and our school's resident amazing soccer player delivered a power shot into my groin, which, somehow, cut my hand on the way in. I was bleeding (from the hand, genius) and in serious pain for quite a while. For some reason, my playing got better immediately after that, dunno why.