U.S. Air Force Wants Soldiers to Be Like Batman

[Tom Phoenix]

Can real-life soldiers really compare to Batman? Short answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *gets hit by a brick*

But anyway, it is nice that they are taking inspiration from a fictional character in order to improve the lives of soldiers.

 

[Heatray]

The military has and always will be about a numbers game. Why train an equip one super-soldier for two million dollars when you can train and equip twenty reguluar soldiers for the same price?

 

[holographicman]

air force troopers of the future

fly in on a disposable plastic jet/glider
jump out and skydive down to the badguys
use light weight weapons like a 3 pound collapsable assualt rifle
and a grappling hook

and kick ass

 

[aussiesniper]

The military has and always will be about a numbers game. Why train an equip one super-soldier for two million dollars when you can train and equip twenty reguluar soldiers for the same price?

There is only a finite pool of men avaliable for combat, and given the ridiculous budget of the US military, they can afford to spend a small fortune on each soldier (think about the cost of a single javelin missile - $40,000 per shot). Plus, after they've made all of the high-tech prototype stuff, it's only a few years until it's mass-manufatured on the (relatively) cheap.

Also, the morale of the side with soldiers armed with batman-style equipment will probably be higher than the poor buggers who have to fight them.

 

[kanomi]

"Well-informed cynicism is only another mode of conformity." -Horkheimer, Eclipse of Reason

And quoting philosophy books isn't? The only difference is who you're conforming with.

As opposed to writing entire articles based around quoting Air Force press releases? If you can't see a distinction, well, here is a nice cover-shooter game for you.

A distinction between starting a conversation about an amusing but otherwise unimportant news story and acting elitist when people are amused by it? Yeah, I think I see one.

When an influential gaming site dresses up Air Force garbage as something newsworthy, that's not important? Oh sure, that's fine. Same Air Force blindly massacring civilians with their brave robot drone attacks. Just fine. Let's all giggle about Batman instead.

And you're saying I'm elitist? You're saying I'm out of touch? Your system of priorities is fundamentally broken, your view of the world is narrow and heartless.

 

[LightOfDarkness]

That sounds really cool, but I think I'd be able to take this article a lot more seriously if Adam West wasn't standing next to it hamming things up.

Hey now, Adam West is a badass. Even if he only can show it on Family Guy now.

All in all, as a general concept I think it would be neat for our soldiers to be more versatile, but I was under the impression that they received quite a bit of training to handle a lot of different situations anyways...so I'm wondering, if that's true, what more could they be taught?

They're not being taught much, I think it's a program that focuses more on hardware.

 

[cobrausn]

"Well-informed cynicism is only another mode of conformity." -Horkheimer, Eclipse of Reason

And quoting philosophy books isn't? The only difference is who you're conforming with.

As opposed to writing entire articles based around quoting Air Force press releases? If you can't see a distinction, well, here is a nice cover-shooter game for you.

Good God you're a self-assured fucking elitist little prick.

Here, I'll explain my earlier stance to you since you obviously need some explanation. Trust me, you are not more intelligent than I am, though you can obviously quote more intelligent people pretty well.

Imagine, for a split-second, you are a soldier. I know this violates much of your deeply-held sense of entitlement of having protection without having to do the dirty work yourself, but bear with me. The article clearly states that the average soldier lugs around over 160 pounds of gear, which is probably twice what you weigh. The goal of the program is to reduce the payload of the soldier without reducing his combat effectiveness.

You, as the soldier, would no doubt approve of this 'waste' of tax money. If we live in a society that regularly expects it's soldiers to fight (and we do, rightly or wrongly, under both party's flags), then you would see the benefit. The fact that they are using 'Batman' as a comparison is only because he exemplified the goal of the program, which was fast and nimble yet not without effective technology to help him perform his job.

No doubt you'd rather be spending it on some government funded art grants or some STD treatment drugs and child welfare checks for the 'hopelessly' less fortunate, but in the meantime you'll just have to settle for a smug sense of satisfaction knowing you know what the proper thing to do is.

 

[aussiesniper]

"Well-informed cynicism is only another mode of conformity." -Horkheimer, Eclipse of Reason

And quoting philosophy books isn't? The only difference is who you're conforming with.

As opposed to writing entire articles based around quoting Air Force press releases? If you can't see a distinction, well, here is a nice cover-shooter game for you.

A distinction between starting a conversation about an amusing but otherwise unimportant news story and acting elitist when people are amused by it? Yeah, I think I see one.

When an influential gaming site dresses up Air Force garbage as something newsworthy, that's not important? Oh sure, that's fine. Same Air Force blindly massacring civilians with their brave robot drone attacks. Just fine. Let's all giggle about Batman instead.

And you're saying I'm elitist? You're saying I'm out of touch? Your system of priorities is fundamentally broken, your view of the world is narrow and heartless.

You do realise that the air force is actively trying to reduce the number of civillians killed, right? They're not some kind of evil force of puppy-murderers who sit down behind the controls of a UAV thinking "Man, I'd really like to blow up some innocents today" (that would be Blackwater, but that's an issue for another day). In fact, I'm pretty sure that killing a civillian for no good reason is a war crime.

 

[Aidinthel]

When an influential gaming site dresses up Air Force garbage as something newsworthy, that's not important? Oh sure, that's fine. Same Air Force blindly massacring civilians with their brave robot drone attacks. Just fine. Let's all giggle about Batman instead.

And you're saying I'm elitist? You're saying I'm out of touch? Your system of priorities is fundamentally broken, your view of the world is narrow and heartless.

Take a look at your own words. "Gaming site." If you want serious real world commentary there's a separate forum for that. Or maybe try CNN or something.

There's another discussion to be had about the phrase "blindly massacring civilians" but I get the feeling your world view is pretty set in stone so I won't bother.

In any case, this isn't a story about drone attacks. It's a story about some sort of harness with a silly acronym. Does everything have to be Serious Business to you? Have you ever done something unproductive simply because it's fun? Do you ever smile? I'd try it if I were you.

"A little nonsense now and then is valued by the wisest men." - Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

 

[Judgement101]

Well, it looks like the army may get a few child molestation cases against them...

 

[Ze_Reaper_Of_Zeath]

Imagine the Army's entry music.

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN BATMAN

 

[ryukage_sama]

It is just me, or do some of these sound like they would be great in a video game?

 

[lacktheknack]

But here's MY question:

Will there be Bat Nipples?

 

[742]

i always knew the airforce was the coolest branch of the US military.

space cyberwarfare stargates and now batman? seriously? okay this just isnt fair to the other four.

you can argue whether its right or not, but you cant argue the coolness.

 

[Logic 0]

I can't wait to see if this pans out if it does I'm joining the air force.

 

[KeyMaster45]

General- "Sir our soliders are having a hard time fighting insurgent, any suggestions?"

Pres- "Be more like Batman!"

Thats how I imagine it went down.

Hold on I think I can enhance this imaginary scenario.

[Interior: The War Room...on a Tuesday (because shit like this always happens on a Tuesday)]

Army General: My boys are getting their asses whipped by those sandy bastards! They're like less stealthy ninjas with IED's and rocket launchers!

Marine General: The Marines aren't faring any better, things just haven't been the same since Mr. Rogers retired. Now that was a man who knew how to skin an enemy of freedom.

Navy Admiral: Why don't you guys just use warships? Any problem can be solved using a warship with guns so big it's almost comical!

Air Force General: *smacks the Navy Admiral* You idiot they're in the middle of the desert; boats don't work there remember?

Navy Admiral: Well I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to develop some sand boats would it?

*The other generals groan in aggravation*

Marine General: Mr. President, our scientists and strategists are out of options that don't include the phrase "Nuke them into the stone-age"; what do you suggest we do?

*The President looks up from his morning news paper with a smirk on his face*

The President: I'm glad you asked. You see gentlemen when all reasonably sane options have been exhausted and our superior technology and resources are put to shame there's only one thing to do.

*The President reaches into his suit and produces a thin paperback book. The generals lean forward in their chairs to examine it*

Army General: Is that..?

Marine General: You couldn't possibly mean...?

Navy Admiral: OOO! Does this mean we're getting new warships!?

Air Force General: You aren't suggesting that...?

The President: Yes gentlemen. The solution to our problem is simple. We need to be more like Batman!

[Roll campy batman intro. End Scene]

 

[Mcupobob]

General- "Sir our soliders are having a hard time fighting insurgent, any suggestions?"

Pres- "Be more like Batman!"

Thats how I imagine it went down.

Hold on I think I can enhance this imaginary scenario.

[Interior: The War Room...on a Tuesday (because shit like this always happens on a Tuesday)]

Army General: My boys are getting their asses whipped by those sandy bastards! They're like less stealthy ninjas with IED's and rocket launchers!

Marine General: The Marines aren't faring any better, things just haven't been the same since Mr. Rogers retired. Now that was a man who knew how to skin an enemy of freedom.

Navy Admiral: Why don't you guys just use warships? Any problem can be solved using a warship with guns so big it's almost comical!

Air Force General: *smacks the Navy Admiral* You idiot they're in the middle of the desert; boats don't work there remember?

Navy Admiral: Well I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to develop some sand boats would it?

*The other generals groan in aggravation*

Marine General: Mr. President, our scientists and strategists are out of options that don't include the phrase "Nuke them into the stone-age"; what do you suggest we do?

*The President looks up from his morning news paper with a smirk on his face*

The President: I'm glad you asked. You see gentlemen when all reasonably sane options have been exhausted and our superior technology and resources are put to shame there's only one thing to do.

*The President reaches into his suit and produces a thin paperback book. The generals lean forward in their chairs to examine it*

Army General: Is that..?

Marine General: You couldn't possibly mean...?

Navy Admiral: OOO! Does this mean we're getting new warships!?

Air Force General: You aren't suggesting that...?

The President: Yes gentlemen. The solution to our problem is simple. We need to be more like Batman!

[Roll campy batman intro. End Scene]

I tip my hat to you sir *tips no-existan hat*

EDIT: I would love to see a comic based around this, call it the war room or something.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

Or they could, alternatively, take cues from other armed forces about how to properly supply soldiers with equipment during operations by improving their vastly outdated logistical systems that haven't really changed in 30 years.

 

[aussiesniper]

Despite the fact that you are completely rude, I will answer you.

You want soldiers not to get shot up, mutilated, or lug 160 pounds of gear around? I want that too. I don't hate the enlisted personnel, I feel pity for them. Misguided or forced by poverty, they are citizens and deserve a lot better than what they have now.

So let's get them out of Afghanistan and Iraq. And Somalia, Bosnia, Japan, Germany and the 400+ other military bases and countries they are stuck in around the world. What the fuck are they doing there? "Protecting our freedoms", uh huh, sure. Protecting the corporate interests of the elites, actually. And as soon as any soldier gets out, with PTSD or without, yeah good luck getting anything from the Veterans Administration. Do they get job assistance? No. Does Blackwater get billions of dollars? Yeah. How ignorant can you be? Where do you get your news, Fox? The system chews these people up and throws them away. If you actually knew anything about the military you would be ashamed of your simplistic jingoistic trash.

Maybe you should stop worrying about Duke Nukem Forever or whatever and read a fucking book. The only one benefiting from these pointless, unwinnable wars are defense contractors who make millions of dollars every day, overcharging the government for everything from Blackwater bullshit to Halliburton base crap to Predator kill drones.

If you're happy with that, go ahead and suck some military industrial cock and get a job rooting for the Pentagon and global imperialism. I chose otherwise.

Making stupid aspersions and ad hominem attacks about what you imagine I would think the money should be spent on just makes you look stupid, by the way. As if the rest of your post didn't already accomplish that.

In bold is what I think is wrom with your post. In Italics is the blatant trolling in your post.

First of all, the army is not "protecting the corporate interests of the elite". They're following orders from the American government. You will not find a halliburton executive on the other end of a seargeant's radio. All the corporations are doing is making massive profit from the war, they have basically no influence on anyone in the field.

Secondly, your post is full of ad hominem attacks on everyone that doesn't agree with you. You're coming across as a psychotic anti-capitalist, extreme anti-militarist.

You do have a point with the mention of blackwater and halliburton profiteering from the war, but you're presenting the entire war as if it were a conspiracy from the capitalist pig-dogs, rather than as a very stupid foreign policy decision from years ago that we're still trying to get out of.

The next few lines of bolded text are just... stupid. Calling out other people for making an ad hominem while making an ad hominem yourself.