What is the weirdest thing a boy/girl said to you?

[Loiosh91]

wasn't directed at me but i was watching The Lion King with this girl and at the part thats showing simba growing up he(the lion) starts to walk away and she says "oh my God, he's so hot"

remember this is both and animal AND a cartoon

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

wasn't directed at me but i was watching The Lion King with this girl and at the part thats showing simba growing up he(the lion) starts to walk away and she says "oh my God, he's so hot"

remember this is both and animal AND a cartoon

Furentai?

 

[Loiosh91]

wasn't directed at me but i was watching The Lion King with this girl and at the part thats showing simba growing up he(the lion) starts to walk away and she says "oh my God, he's so hot"

remember this is both and animal AND a cartoon

Furentai?

for those of you who didn't get that i think he was trying to make a combination of "Furry" and "Hentai" BulletInMyBrain dude correct me if i'm wrong

also i just thought of one, a few days ago my ex sent me a text that said "omg your such a loser"...five minutes later same girl sends me a text saying "omg i miss you so much!"...
needless to say i feel i'm recieving mixed signals

 

[bowserboy26578]

My ex used to tell me in detail whenever she'd fart and explained to me how her PMS is brown and smells coppery.

I felt sick.

Been there too...

ditto...

 

[Loiosh91]

I say all the weirdest shit to my friends... I once said I had a forked penis (as in it split into 2 about half way down, not with a fork stuck in it") but my favourite moment went a bit like this...
Set up: standing by the bus, really ugly girl comes up to my friend who shes being trying to hit on for the past week
to my friend she says "are you going out with Shona (another girl we got the bus with)?"
I say "Oh yeah, she was totally sucking him off just yesterday in his bedroom"
Shes a bit shocked and says "How would you know that?"
I say "I was sitting in the corner masturbating"

She never talked to me or my friend again...

that's beautiful *tear*...do i have your permission to use that oh wise one?

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Yeah pretty much spot on. Furry cartoon porn.

 

[Berethond]

I say all the weirdest shit to my friends... I once said I had a forked penis (as in it split into 2 about half way down, not with a fork stuck in it") but my favourite moment went a bit like this...
Set up: standing by the bus, really ugly girl comes up to my friend who shes being trying to hit on for the past week
to my friend she says "are you going out with Shona (another girl we got the bus with)?"
I say "Oh yeah, she was totally sucking him off just yesterday in his bedroom"
Shes a bit shocked and says "How would you know that?"
I say "I was sitting in the corner masturbating"

She never talked to me or my friend again...

that's beautiful *tear*...do i have your permission to use that oh wise one?

That is so beautiful...
I must remember that.

 

[Mindex]

I was just relaxing with a friend at her apartment when all of a fucking sudden she said
*will you shit on me"
My reply was
*im sorry i don't think i heard you correctly, can... can you run that by me one more time?"
she said it once more and then added
"or piss on me or BOTH"
I said uuuhhhhhh... for like 2 minutes before she finally said
"I thought you loved me... GET OUT!!"
It was the strangest day of my life and she knew that i didn't love her... or at least i thought she knew.

We may have a winner people^

I think we do, when i saw this i was just like WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

 

[Daveman]

I say all the weirdest shit to my friends... I once said I had a forked penis (as in it split into 2 about half way down, not with a fork stuck in it") but my favourite moment went a bit like this...
Set up: standing by the bus, really ugly girl comes up to my friend who shes being trying to hit on for the past week
to my friend she says "are you going out with Shona (another girl we got the bus with)?"
I say "Oh yeah, she was totally sucking him off just yesterday in his bedroom"
Shes a bit shocked and says "How would you know that?"
I say "I was sitting in the corner masturbating"

She never talked to me or my friend again...

that's beautiful *tear*...do i have your permission to use that oh wise one?

That is so beautiful...
I must remember that.

Sure, use it and abuse it. Just like a woman... oh ho.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

I was just relaxing with a friend at her apartment when all of a fucking sudden she said
*will you shit on me"
My reply was
*im sorry i don't think i heard you correctly, can... can you run that by me one more time?"
she said it once more and then added
"or piss on me or BOTH"
I said uuuhhhhhh... for like 2 minutes before she finally said
"I thought you loved me... GET OUT!!"
It was the strangest day of my life and she knew that i didn't love her... or at least i thought she knew.

Are you making that up or did it really happen? If it did, sorry man. There are some really nutty people out there.

 

[Dapsen]

i was once walking home with one of my friends (a dude for all the ppl who just confused)and suddenly he just said "dude... i just shit my pants" and then he hurrys home

 

[Ranooth]

Well i was walking out of Greg's (a bakery) with a pack of 5 doughnuts me and my mate got for 1 pound!!

Walking down the road with them in my hand trying to eat my sandwhich and i random guy comes up to me and says "You'll get fat eating all those" and walks off.

Im starting to think it was Captain Obvious.

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

"Twilight is good."

 

[Straiffi]

This just happened last friday. I was in a bar and this random girl comes to me and asks:
"Are you a boy or a girl?"

I was kinda confused of course, so only thing I could answer was something like:
"Umm.. boy"

Then she just said: "Oh, if you were a girl you would be really cute." and walked away.

Needless to say, this was pretty weird. I don't even look like a girl

 

[kkthegrunt]

Its bleeding! What do we do?!

 

[MasterMuffinMan]

I was talking to this girl in a minibus on the way back from a school trip, which is pretty unusual for me (the talking to girls bit, not the school trip bit), and we start talking about musicals.

I say that I really want to go and see Avenue Q (mainly because I want to see "The Internet is for Porn" live), and she goes "My favourite musical's Beauty and the Beast". I reply with something along the lines of that of all the things Disney mullered, that was one of the better ones, especially a couple of the songs.

She goes: "I really only like it for the bestiality."

I'm pretty sure she was kidding...

 

[ace_of_something]

Since this has kind of degenerated to weird phrases in general things i've heard before.

"It's my hand and it's my ass, I can do what I want with it." (he was do exactly what you think he was doing)
"I don't want any nazis in my soup. You keep those nazis out of my soup and I'll eat my soup, we got a deal?" (ad nauseum) - in regards to not wanting to eat his dinner (noodles and beef)
"No please, the government will find me in there" - in regards to taking a shower
"I CAN'T FIND THE HIDDEN PANEL WILL YOU TELL ME WHERE IT IS?" - in regards to spreading feces all over his walls

In context these are things I've heard at the jail in which i work when i'm working in the 'confinement' housing unit... many who end up there have done so many drugs they are completely batshit insane permanently.

 

[Beffudled Sheep]

I was just relaxing with a friend at her apartment when all of a fucking sudden she said
*will you shit on me"
My reply was
*im sorry i don't think i heard you correctly, can... can you run that by me one more time?"
she said it once more and then added
"or piss on me or BOTH"
I said uuuhhhhhh... for like 2 minutes before she finally said
"I thought you loved me... GET OUT!!"
It was the strangest day of my life and she knew that i didn't love her... or at least i thought she knew.

Are you making that up or did it really happen? If it did, sorry man. There are some really nutty people out there.

It really did happen. Our conversions after that were also quite awkward. I have plenty more where that came from.
(sigh) I always end up with the crazy ones.

 

[Sarcastic Chimp]

I had a random girl once tell me my voice almost made her orgasm...

Holy shit, its Sean Connery!

 

[eagle270878]

A girl at the bus stop said I looked like Chris Rock. I'm white. Plus I don't look anything like him in any way.