What is the weirdest thing a boy/girl said to you?

[lapan]

My ex told me she dreamed that we were in a zombie apocalypse and I abadoned her, leaving her for the zombies to eat.

We were still together at that time and i am generally a very nice guy...

 

[Noamuth]

I was giving a woman I'd just been introduced to a hug-hello at a club:

*mid-hug* "Wow, I love your boobs!"

.. I took it as a compliment. XD

 

[Dhell]

Can i touch u?

 

[ZP---Fanatic]

My Girlfriend Said..."Hey Could you do me a favour?,touch my boobs and tell me if they feel
right"...WTF??

i think i've already wrote on this thread,Cant remember

 

[Corpse XxX]

I say all the weirdest shit to my friends... I once said I had a forked penis (as in it split into 2 about half way down, not with a fork stuck in it") but my favourite moment went a bit like this...
Set up: standing by the bus, really ugly girl comes up to my friend who shes being trying to hit on for the past week
to my friend she says "are you going out with Shona (another girl we got the bus with)?"
I say "Oh yeah, she was totally sucking him off just yesterday in his bedroom"
Shes a bit shocked and says "How would you know that?"
I say "I was sitting in the corner masturbating"

This must be the winner!
I nearly pissed my pants when i red this.. That some funny shit right there.. ROFLMAO!

 

[AlphaOmega]

Girl: you are perfect for me, and I want to be with you. but I wont

Me:

 

[manicfoot]

Me and my friend were pretty drunk and walked into a pub, headed straight to the bar when this happened:
Woman: HIIII
Me: ...Hi?
Woman: You... You look like Angelina Jolie!
Me: Really? Must be the beard, huh?
Woman: *running her fingers through my hair* AWWWW YOU LOOK SO INNOCENT
Me: .....

Also, one time I was walking past this club with a massive queue of people outside so I pretended to be on the phone and decided to pretend to be a cockney gansgter. So I got my phone out and yelled "Look! I don't care if he has the bloody money - BREAK HIS FACKIN LEGS" as loud and menacingly as I could. Everyone turned round and I burst out laughing and ran into the night ^^

 

[Caimekaze]

Apparently, I have a nice back. This is confirmed by about 7 of my female friends.

The conversation actually went like this.
"Hey, can I see your back?"
"Uuhhh... yes?"
"Wow, it's really nice. Hey everyone, look at his back!"
"Wow, that's a nice back!"

... I then huddled into a corner for a while.

 

[Ranooth]

Random women in pub: OMG! YOUR HAIR IS INSANE! Remember son, shag the impure leave the innocent to be raped.

I think she was drunk.

 

[Zephirius]

"I really want to stick a gerbil up your butt"

I was...confused.

There's one reply for that...But how would you get it past the other one? People try to freak me out, I flip it and watch them almost fall over.

"Look man, no vacancy." "Sorry, the guestbook is full."

On actual things people have said to me...Well, it wasn't to me, but there was this one time where we were in a toy store on a school trip and we were joking about stealing a big pricey lego truck, and the other guy was like "That'll really stand out if I put it under my T-shirt.." so he walks up to one of the girls we were with and he was like "See, I really want that cool truck, but people will notice if I put it under my shirt, but then I thought, your uterus might be able to hold it..." don't remember the rest he said but that was the shocking part and we spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and making uterus jokes in poor taste.

 

[DND Judgement]

I have lots of female friends, and an evil, evil older sister. I match Locusts contributation on a daily basis.

same it really blows...

 

[henrebotha]

"When we make love, I want you to pretend you're raping me, and choke me while you're doing it."

It was that day I found out that many women have a rape fetish. This disgusted me because rape is up there with murder and slave trading in my list of unforgivable crimes and the fact that women apparently secretly want it turned my fucking world upside down.

Fantasy != fetish != reality. I have a "rape" fantasy (more accurately, a "girl resisting but secretly wanting" fantasy). However, while I sometimes act rough with my girlfriend, or even lightly choke her, I would never take it any closer to real rape than that, as she narrowly escaped rape about two years back and is consequently suffering from depression. If it got too real she might legitimately kill herself.

 

[VaioStreams]

about 7 or so months back. I was talking to our audio guy here at work. we were talking about how single i am and he tells me "you should be more of an asshole. women like that kind of thing" that's not the weird thing. I told him it's not in my to be an asshole. i'm just too nice. he replys

"that's just it' you're so nice you're almost gay"

my mouth just kinda dropped. i looked at him blankly and just had no idea what to say to that. i still have no idea what to say to it. now i just laugh

 

[Matija442]

well few weeks ago at school (im 17 years old and in 3rd grade of highschool) a girl that sits in front of me out of nowhere in the middle of the class shouted "Matija was caught jerkin off my his mom"... needless to say i was shocked and speechless... the thing is i was never caught by my mom and she had no way of knowing that.... weird *****

 

[wewontdie11]

Well I've got two new ones.

Spoiler: Yea this one is a little explicit so the easily offended might not want to read.

"You know those dolls where they wee and cry, well when I was 14 me and my friend put some milk in it to see if it looked like it was cuming, but when it cried it just looked wrong..."

"Well my plan is to dress up as a wolf, go hunting in the forest for pixies and when we find them steal their pixie dust. We'll then go to Arabia and find a camel to sprinkle it on so then it can fly. Then once we've done that we can use the camel to fly to Neverland."

Both the same girl and she wasn't even high or drunk when she said these things. Crazy, crazy girl...

 

[KeithA45]

"When we make love, I want you to pretend you're raping me, and choke me while you're doing it."

It was that day I found out that many women have a rape fetish. This disgusted me because rape is up there with murder and slave trading in my list of unforgivable crimes and the fact that women apparently secretly want it turned my fucking world upside down.

Alas, it's true. My ex liked it when I held her down, and my ex before that liked it when I pushed and threw her (that one was bad). I read somewhere that being forced into sex is the most common fetish among women. Of course everything is circumstantial, but one of my ex's (who I still talk to) has this bad habit of dating abusive guys because she likes when they force her into things (she is a slightly more extreme case). It's strange, bizarre, and sometimes unhealthy but true.

 

[Elurindel]

"When we make love, I want you to pretend you're raping me, and choke me while you're doing it."

It was that day I found out that many women have a rape fetish. This disgusted me because rape is up there with murder and slave trading in my list of unforgivable crimes and the fact that women apparently secretly want it turned my fucking world upside down.

Fantasy != fetish != reality. I have a "rape" fantasy (more accurately, a "girl resisting but secretly wanting" fantasy). However, while I sometimes act rough with my girlfriend, or even lightly choke her, I would never take it any closer to real rape than that, as she narrowly escaped rape about two years back and is consequently suffering from depression. If it got too real she might legitimately kill herself.

It's not actually that bizarre a facet of the human psyche. According to wikipedia, more women have rape fantasies than men (one in ten men, as opposed to fully half of women, if I remember rightly). A lot of it comes from hormonal reactions to confident, dominant men, and some of it from the primitive desperations and needs to reproduce of our prehistoric ancestors. Even primates have been known to force themselves upon each other. I'm not saying that such acts are acceptable, just understandable that they could be fantasies.

 

[Ionami]

*apologies for the double post*

*Disregard this first one*

 

[Ionami]

"When we make love, I want you to pretend you're raping me, and choke me while you're doing it."

It was that day I found out that many women have a rape fetish. This disgusted me because rape is up there with murder and slave trading in my list of unforgivable crimes and the fact that women apparently secretly want it turned my fucking world upside down.

No, many women do NOT have a rape fetish. Women with a history of sexual abuse often re-enact that trauma with their partners. It's not a fetish. It's a subconscious self defense mechanism designed to help the abuse victim cope with the trauma. That woman you were with should start going to therapy sessions. Obviously, someone abused her as a child and she deserves help with that.

Do NOT go around thinking that "Some chicks are just into that stuff". That's not how it works.

Fantasy != fetish != reality. I have a "rape" fantasy (more accurately, a "girl resisting but secretly wanting" fantasy). However, while I sometimes act rough with my girlfriend, or even lightly choke her, I would never take it any closer to real rape than that, as she narrowly escaped rape about two years back and is consequently suffering from depression. If it got too real she might legitimately kill herself.

You're simply recreating that trauma for her. You're preventing her from ever getting better. She needs to see a counselor.

It's not actually that bizarre a facet of the human psyche. According to wikipedia, more women have rape fantasies than men (one in ten men, as opposed to fully half of women, if I remember rightly). A lot of it comes from hormonal reactions to confident, dominant men, and some of it from the primitive desperations and needs to reproduce of our prehistoric ancestors. Even primates have been known to force themselves upon each other. I'm not saying that such acts are acceptable, just understandable that they could be fantasies.

Again, they're not "fantasies" in the typical sense. Women with this particular "fantasy" have undergone severe trauma and abuse in childhood, and they have been conditioned into believing that this is normal behavior. It's a sub-conscious self defense mechanism that the human brain uses to cope. Therapy and counseling is the only way we have to date of effectively helping people to deal with this.

 

[damselgaming]

I was in my Uni accomodations hallway talking to my friends (both male) about our sex lives when this took place:
1) So is sex better when you're more turned on or she is?
2) Oh her- because when she's turned on and on top she 'drips all over me'.

... ... I can now slosh any liquid at friend number 1 and cause nausea.

Vaginal discharge is not a cnversation enhancer.