What is the weirdest thing a boy/girl said to you?

[pyrojam321moo]

Our art teacher in high school was high most the time. Her room smelled of pot, and no one cared. One day she walked up to me and said, "You look exactly like my daughter's brother-in-law, Big D, which is weird, because I've never seen anyone that looked like him before. So if I scream, 'Hey! Big D!' at you randomly one day, you know why." She then preceded to wander off. I never heard from her again.

 

[AdjectiveAnimal]

A few weeks ago a girl told me that she had a dream where I was having sex with another girl.
And that she was there watching.
And that it was hot.

 

[Daezd]

With suitably wild and crazy eyes, a friend once proclaimed:
"I AM AT ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE! THE PAIN IS SO UNBEARABLE YET SO MAGNIFICENT!"
He'd just had a hamburger, apparently the spiciest in the world. You have to be over a certain weight to eat the thing, otherwise you could die. Yarp. That spicy. He was actually hullucinating because of all the spice. Oh, plus he's lactose intolerant and they gave him milk and yoghurt to try to sooth the burn. Yaaaaaa, he was pretty loopy.

Another time with a coworker, after he'd just smacked me over the head for a dirty joke I'd made. "You think that's bad? That was only a soft bash! Wait until you feel my malicious bash! It has an area of effect and kills everyone within a five kilometer radius! Which is slightly different to my malicious bass, which is my large disgruntled fish. Not to be confused with my delicious bass, the meal I intend to be cooking tonight." this train of thought continued on until we both almost passed out from laughing so hard (and head trauma).

Laughed for about five minutes straight. Thanks.

 

[Lusperus]

Girl: does my hair smell like smoke?
*smells*
Me: no but it smells like drinking

 

[drummersbangharder]

"When we make love, I want you to pretend you're raping me, and choke me while you're doing it."

It was that day I found out that many women have a rape fetish. This disgusted me because rape is up there with murder and slave trading in my list of unforgivable crimes and the fact that women apparently secretly want it turned my fucking world upside down.

I don't have a rape fetish but once I was choked, (not hard), he just squeezed my neck. I never knew it could be so glorious. I ask every guy if they will do that from now on.

 

[kizzneth]

when a girl asked me to jiggle her "thingie" one more time

you hear some strange things working in an amusement park...

 

[Dastardos]

That she was taking off her pants...

 

[Insomniaku]

My ex used to tell me in detail whenever she'd fart and explained to me how her PMS is brown and smells coppery.

I felt sick.

WHAT THE FUCK

 

[Insomniaku]

That she was taking off her pants...

love the avatar

 

[VonVirgo]

"I love you"

 

[Ichimaru]

"I'm looking to lose my virginity to someone, are you going to stay here awhile?"
or from a girl I didn't know had a boyfriend....
Her: "I need to have sex"
Me: "I'm not-"
Her: "Hold my coat"

 

[Next Chewbacca]

My chiropractor told me that I had beautiful eyes. Needless to say, I was incredibly uncomfortable.
Especially since it was a guy. No more money for you.

 

[wbf_shez]

"Do you want me to suck the blood off your penis?"

To which the reply was: "Just get me a fucking tissue, you broke my dick".

 

[Vrud]

"When we make love, I want you to pretend you're raping me, and choke me while you're doing it."

It was that day I found out that many women have a rape fetish. This disgusted me because rape is up there with murder and slave trading in my list of unforgivable crimes and the fact that women apparently secretly want it turned my fucking world upside down.

A lot of men have it, too. I've had three different guys ask me to fuck them in the ass and make them my little bitches. Lesbian, so... no go. XD

It's all fantasy, though, so it doesn't matter. Submission and domination are just hot buttons for a lot of people in sex.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Your glasses make my pussycat tingle... yeah I get a healthy dose of prank phonecalls.

 

[Vrud]

I had a guy burst open the door to his house and holler across the street as I was crossing the sidewalk "Can I walk with you?"

The content isn't that weird, but the context sure was. Well, maybe more scary...

 

[Ushario]

I had a girl I met on the bus turn up at my house.

She talked to my Dad, and he let her inside. So I was sitting in my room, with this girl on my bed, talking to me about us dating.

My girlfriend wasn't very impressed when she found out about this. I found it hilarious, although very creepy.

 

[Booze Zombie]

"I'm looking to lose my virginity to someone, are you going to stay here awhile?"
or from a girl I didn't know had a boyfriend....
Her: "I need to have sex"
Me: "I'm not-"
Her: "Hold my coat"

Ha, ha, ha, ha! I'm sorry, that was just hilarious.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

That she was taking off her pants...

I believe I could top that, I was at a friends house.. A girl that has known him for a long time comes in outside from the rain.. She takes off her pants, and climbs into a bed with about 4 guys.

Sausage-fests are fun.

 

[Darth Revan 192]

"I love you but I'm not in love with you."

or the better example

Monday "I love you."
Tuesday "I met this boy and we are dating now."

Happened to me about 4 months ago. But my example would be: "If you really love me like you say you do' you'll help me." She wanted me to set her up with my best friend... Who DID end up dating her while knowing I'm crazy about the girl. (This next one being from a guy.) My friend then dumped her and said: "My bad."

I hate people.