What would you buy to make the cashier wonder what the hell you're into?

[Bob the zombie]

1. Condoms 2. Styrofoam beans 3. gallon of gasoline 4.a lighter 5.twist-its 6. fuse 7. a whole fish 8. marshmallows

That avatar looks strikingly familiar...

well, i edited this in like five minutes. yours makes mine look like crap XD! good job, man

 

[Sigel]

lube, a shovel, duct tape, black garbage bags,and a "thinking of you" greeting card.

 

[Flig]

A Plunger
Seven boxes of condoms(Trojan ultra-ribbed)
Two bottles of Tylenol
Industrial Disinfectant
An American Flag
Four Hunting Knives
A bowling ball
Three packs of gum
A fishing pole
Two heads of lettuce


Really just items that came to mind as I was writing this. I don't have any plan thought up that these could be used for, that's the cashier's job.

 

[RivFader86]

that's easy....an axe, duct tape and a roll of big blue trash bags^^

 

[Disaster Button]

30 dildos! Hurr hurrdily durp

Marshmallows, jelly (fruit lumps optional), ligher fluid, an extension cable, a giant teddy bear, candles and a rubber ball. T'would be a glorious night.

I see your thirty dildos and raise you forty-seven dildos.

53 dildos and an antique radio.

 

[sabbat]

Right, first off, I have a sick and twisted sense of humour. I'm saying this to stress the point that you should read on ONLY IF YOU HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS!

Spoiler

1 box of condoms
5 tubes of lube
1 CHILDS nurse costume (Fancy dress kind of idea)
1 bag of sweets (Candy, for american readers)
rope
a ball gag
1 pair of childs underwear.

Only do this if you are seriously ballsy enough and can think of LAGITIMATE reasons to buy all these things. Or just tell them the truth. Getting arrested for wasting police time is WAY better than the alternative. The first thing the cashier will do is call the police on you.

 

[Chancie]

Well me and my best friend both bought condoms at the same time (2 different boxes!)
and the cashier lady thought we were gay together so she asked how long we've been together.

most awkward moment of my life

That made me laugh. xD I'm sure that would've been awkward as hell, but I find that really funny.

 

[shadyh8er]

A video camera, a copy of Street Fighter 4, a carrot, KY, a sledge hammer, and a bible.

 

[Tinneh]

30 dildos! Hurr hurrdily durp

Marshmallows, jelly (fruit lumps optional), ligher fluid, an extension cable, a giant teddy bear, candles and a rubber ball. T'would be a glorious night.

I see your thirty dildos and raise you forty-seven dildos.

53 dildos and an antique radio.

Oh, you're playing hardball, eh? 59 dildos, seventeen antique radios, and nineteen thousand Girls Gone Wild DVDs.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/collecting_double_takes.png

 

[Skuffyshootster]

1. Condoms 2. Styrofoam beans 3. gallon of gasoline 4.a lighter 5.twist-its 6. fuse 7. a whole fish 8. marshmallows

That avatar looks strikingly familiar...

well, i edited this in like five minutes. yours makes mine look like crap XD! good job, man

Nah, I didn't do anything.

[user]Fanboy[/user] did all the work. I just requested it.

 

[Disaster Button]

30 dildos! Hurr hurrdily durp

Marshmallows, jelly (fruit lumps optional), ligher fluid, an extension cable, a giant teddy bear, candles and a rubber ball. T'would be a glorious night.

I see your thirty dildos and raise you forty-seven dildos.

53 dildos and an antique radio.

Oh, you're playing hardball, eh? 59 dildos, seventeen antique radios, and nineteen thousand Girls Gone Wild DVDs.

Damn. 62 antique dildos, 1000 wild radios, 18 Girls and 7 DVDs and 41 pieces of broken furniture.. and a gag ball.

 

[DarkRyter]

Condoms and a flare gun.

Tonight's gonna be a fun night.

 

[The Eggplant]

1. A box of condoms.
2. A Snickers bar.
3. A pair of pruning shears.
4. An issue of "Better Homes and Gardens."
5. A jumbo-size container of diapers.

That just about covers it, I think.

 

[Tom Phoenix]

You guys and girls are overcomplicating matters. I would simply do what George Carlin said you should do (at 4m 39s):


Too bad the Escapist doesn't support the time code. =(

 

[HotBoxedPinata]

Apparently a dude came into the store I work at when someone else was working wielding a Baseball Bat with Inch Markings. He was also more than happy to explain how everything worked...sorta glad but also sorta jealous it wasn't my shift so I could call it my own...

 

[sabbat]

30 dildos! Hurr hurrdily durp

Marshmallows, jelly (fruit lumps optional), ligher fluid, an extension cable, a giant teddy bear, candles and a rubber ball. T'would be a glorious night.

I see your thirty dildos and raise you forty-seven dildos.

53 dildos and an antique radio.

Oh, you're playing hardball, eh? 59 dildos, seventeen antique radios, and nineteen thousand Girls Gone Wild DVDs.

1 cup and toilet paper. I'll buy it while two slutty girls stand behind me whispering about how they aren't sure weather my plan for them is sanitary. I dare you to wager higher.

 

[Dogstile]

Well me and my best friend both bought condoms at the same time (2 different boxes!)
and the cashier lady thought we were gay together so she asked how long we've been together.

most awkward moment of my life

So, you're still in the closet, then.

I kid. Been in simalar situations myself. I even went along with the charade, once.

Me and my friends actually kissed in front of a cashier once Funny stuff.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Item number 1: Home pregnancy test.
Item number 2: A single wire coat hanger.

Too late. I beat you to it.