Why is Male gayness "worse" than Female Gayness

[theguiltyone]

It's worse because everyone loves to see lesbians, and noone apart from gay dudes want's to see gay dudes, in porn anyway.

...okay, have you NEVER heard of yaoi? Slash? Gay erotica made in majority by and for straight women? No? Well you learned something today!

I didn't, but I always asked girls if they like gay porn(under the assumption it's like lesbians for us), not one of them sofar confirmed it.
Then again they are girls and the truth seems to elude their lips quite often.

Oho! So now "everyone" loves lesbians, "no one" aside from gay men approves of gay men, and now girls are liars! Clearly this can only end well...

 

[Freechoice]

Can we cut the "men are perverted" horseshit? Stop holding women up on a pedestal and maybe some fucking gender equality might happen.

God.

Ask a typical man to reveal his porn stash to you, then ask a typical female to do the same. Most of the time the man will not only have a larger stash, but in some cases will have a much wider variety of stuff. Just look around sometime at your local drug store at all the available porn and try to count how much gay/female magazines there are compared to the number of heterosexual male magazines.

It's less about holding women up on pedestals and more quoting decades of proven fact.

So can you explain to me why the male libido has to be considered perverse in comparison its female counterpart?

Mainly because males are more prone to pursuing their libido?

Seriously, look it up. Google anything you like about the subject. "Masturbation", "Libido," "Sex Drive", just add "Male versus Female" and most of the sites that come up say the same thing. Men masturbate more than women, both in number of times in a lifetime and in overall percentage. Men are also more prone to having "quick" sex, where there is little to no foreplay, whereas women greatly value foreplay.

Anecdotal data may say otherwise; maybe you see a lot of horny women trying to bang men, while the men are typically cupping their balls in fear of being raped. But history and scientific studies have shown that males typically have the "stronger" libido, so they are more prone to being "perverse" and actively pursue sex, possibly to a greater extent than females.

So why are you using history to qualify heightened libido as "perverse"?

Merriam-Webster:
per·verse/pərˈvərs/Adjective
1. (of a person or their actions) Showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable or unacceptable, often in spite of the consequences.
2. Contrary to the accepted or expected standard or practice.

Heteronormativity. Servicing mankind since before the internet.

 

[Danglybits]

As a Lesbian myself, I hold no ill will towards gay people, but recently I've been noticing that in most media, It is more acceptable for a woman to be gay that it is for a man. For example the possible relationship in Mass Effect (No I love those games. I'm not criticizing them). Can anyone think of a reason this might be =/ ? knowing myself this is probably something that everyone noticed ages ago lol.

Pretty much all gay-hate stems from gender roles and politics. The complaints are really coming from 'men do this; not that, women do that' not this. Think about the questions gay couples get about their sex lives. "Which one is the girl (or boy)". They're ascribing what role someone plays sexually (active/passive or give/receive) to gender standards. A man who is the receptive partner is playing a 'female' role.

The reason people tend to be more accepting of queer women (assuming we're 'pretty' enough) is that women taking on a male role makes sense. Why would anyone want to be the passive one? Why would someone want something inserted into their body? Men have power. A man taking on a female role makes no sense; it's a down grade. Gender standards are way more strict for men than they are for women. Think about how much easier it is for a woman to wear pants or a tux than for a man to wear a dress. There's also this censoring of the male naughty bits. Full-frontal male nudity is really rare (at least in America) so I think that male-body phobia has something to do with that. Women's bodies are every where and have been codified for pleasure so I think that the idea of someone liking those bodies is more acceptable. All queer relationships cause people with really strict ideas about who does what and why to question how they relate to people.

Of course gender and sex are related and sex hormones influence personality traits. Testosterone tends to make people and animals more aggressive, boy infants like looking at things more than faces and girl infants are the opposite. But cultural attitudes also shape how people of sexes and genders act (they aren't the same thing). Its easy to say that men do this sexually and socially because they are more aggressive but when you have two men or two women, the defining factor in their balance of power can no longer be sex. So it has to be more complex than that; like people are individuals and work out their relationship roles on the basis of more than just chromosomes.

The other part is that people think that if it doesn't involve a penis it isn't sex. Cunnilngus doesn't count for some reason, and neither does fingering (I've never seen someone dispute the sexual validity of lesbian fisting though). So it's less 'wrong' when two women are having sex because its not as much sex as penis-sex is. Being a bi-female I also see that exploitative attitude some people (men and women) have toward lesbian sex. Some people think that a man could improve the situation. "Look at those women -- they're so lonely their practicing kissing each other" Most woman/woman sex is also portrayed as really soft, and feathery, and chaste with lots of petting (of all kinds) and hair smelling.

Lesbian's Brother: I don't think you can really call it sex; I think it's closer to cuddling.
Lesbian: Well, she cuddled the shit out of me.

BTW: The technical definition of "sodomy" is 'non-procreative sex'. So fisting, fingering, oral, anal, titty fucking, mutual masturbation and tribadism are all very naughty. We should all stop immediately.

 

[Agayek]

As a Lesbian myself, I hold no ill will towards gay people, but recently I've been noticing that in most media, It is more acceptable for a woman to be gay that it is for a man. For example the possible relationship in Mass Effect (No I love those games. I'm not criticizing them). Can anyone think of a reason this might be =/ ? knowing myself this is probably something that everyone noticed ages ago lol.

Primary modern reason: The overarching influence of the male psyche on our culture. To put it bluntly, men like watching/hearing about women having sex with women. Men do not like watching or hearing about men having sex with other men. Thus, a fairly prevalent general negativity has become engrained in our society towards homosexual men.

There's a root cause of this thought in general as well, starting way back when we were hunter/gatherers. Gay men could not contribute to the next generation, thus they were shunned. This idea became deep-rooted out of necessity over several generations until the aforementioned events occurred.

 

[LuckyClover95]

Because a lot of straight guys are into lesbians, and not gay guys. Yeah, that

Because a lot of media panders to straight males and they think lesbians are hot while gay men are gross and possibly intimidating. Maybe I'm oversimplifying it, but that strikes me as the obvious answer.

This.

Also, straight men tend to find homosexuality frightening. There's this idiotic idea that you can become gay by associating with gay people - which is entirely untrue (believe me, I wish I could turn certain hot straight women gay - mental note, acquire magical gay powers).

Further, I think there are a lot more bisexual or bi-curious men out there who are utterly terrified of their feelings and hide them behind a knee-jerk reaction against anything that hurts their masculinity.

I wish magical gay powers existed...

 

[Danglybits]

It's worse because everyone loves to see lesbians, and noone apart from gay dudes want's to see gay dudes, in porn anyway.

...okay, have you NEVER heard of yaoi? Slash? Gay erotica made in majority by and for straight women? No? Well you learned something today!

I didn't, but I always asked girls if they like gay porn(under the assumption it's like lesbians for us), not one of them sofar confirmed it.
Then again they are girls and the truth seems to elude their lips quite often.

Many women like male/male porn. Women just tend to prefer story based stuff while men are usually interested in the part where they get to the fucking. LOTS of lesbians like gay male porn and no one knows why. Yaoi is weird though because a lot of its fans are attracted by the sexuality without having to relate it to themselves (women). I'm pretty sure most yaoi is made by and for women. There's another genre that's made for and by men but I don't know the name.

 

[quhouv vhqwiufv qwiu]

Because our society is very straight male dominated (not attacking you straight guys ) and some straight guys will be turned on by lesbian activity but repulsed by gay male activity as they are of the same sex.

/2cents.

 

[Lavi]

As a Lesbian myself, I hold no ill will towards gay people, but recently I've been noticing that in most media, It is more acceptable for a woman to be gay that it is for a man. For example the possible relationship in Mass Effect (No I love those games. I'm not criticizing them). Can anyone think of a reason this might be =/ ? knowing myself this is probably something that everyone noticed ages ago lol.

The answer is simple, my fellow lesbian: all that which is associated with being female is undervalued and oppressed in our society (based off of Greek and Roman). A gay man has for thousands of years been associated with the undesirable feminine. In the past, the passive male was feminized and seen as dishonored whereas the active male role had no stigma. So the hatred for gay men is the hatred for men becoming less than men by becoming women.

Lesbians have it that no one actually considers us legit, so it is okay for us to fool around.

Yeah ><

 

[Danglybits]

There's a root cause of this thought in general as well, starting way back when we were hunter/gatherers. Gay men could not contribute to the next generation, thus they were shunned. This idea became deep-rooted out of necessity over several generations until the aforementioned events occurred.

Not always, there are some cultures that have more than just the binary gender system we all know and love. There was a place for males who (for want of a better phrase) acted like women. They were secondary caregivers; valued because they were like aunts but not sexually threatening or competition. Of course this has more to do with trans-people than homo/bi-sexuals but I think that there is some similarity in the part where they are contributors but not sexual competition.

 

[Dags90]

There's a root cause of this thought in general as well, starting way back when we were hunter/gatherers. Gay men could not contribute to the next generation, thus they were shunned. This idea became deep-rooted out of necessity over several generations until the aforementioned events occurred.

That's entirely baseless speculation. We don't have any records of what gay people did or how they were treated in our hunter-gatherer prehistory because it's pre-fucking-history. We barely know anything about pre-civilization culture, hell, we don't know much about various groups' post civilization culture.

 

[Danglybits]

As a Lesbian myself, I hold no ill will towards gay people, but recently I've been noticing that in most media, It is more acceptable for a woman to be gay that it is for a man. For example the possible relationship in Mass Effect (No I love those games. I'm not criticizing them). Can anyone think of a reason this might be =/ ? knowing myself this is probably something that everyone noticed ages ago lol.

The answer is simple, my fellow lesbian: all that which is associated with being female is undervalued and oppressed in our society (based off of Greek and Roman). A gay man has for thousands of years been associated with the undesirable feminine. In the past, the passive male was feminized and seen as dishonored whereas the active male role had no stigma. So the hatred for gay men is the hatred for men becoming less than men by becoming women.

Lesbians have it that no one actually considers us legit, so it is okay for us to fool around.

Yeah ><

Pretty much. Except that female as mother is highly valued. Just not much else.

 

[General_Potatoes]

Some guys may hate me for this but, There is nothing wrong with gay men. Im not gay but they are still human beings and they deserve as much respect as any other person. Man, people don't like other people that are different.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

Two sensual female forms rubbing against one another is the ultimate image of passionate love in my mind. Men just have more rigidness to them than women, and I don't really see the smoothness between two male bodies as much as I do females. Neither is "ugly", just I'm the target demographic of one in adult films and not the other. And, no, I don't watch lesbians because I want to join them. I watch it for assistance and fantasy (if misguided, but whom gives a fuck) alone. I don't want to interrupt them.

Call be perverted and a bit sexist if you want, but I'm fine with that this time. ^^

 

[Danglybits]

A little basic anatomy is called for here.


Also, why does everyone assume anal is only for gay men, especially when so much straight porn is about men 'pitching' to women? Statistics say about the same percentage of straight couples as gay ones participate in anal sex.

Thank you! Anal is like straight-sex's dirty little secret. Lots of people do it but they all pretend they don't or think its just plain gross. Then use it as a defining characteristic of sex that they (the homophobes) don't like.

 

[Agayek]

That's entirely baseless speculation. We don't have any records of what gay people did or how they were treated in our hunter-gatherer prehistory because it's pre-fucking-history. We barely know anything about pre-civilization culture, hell, we don't know much about various groups' post civilization culture.

It's not entirely baseless, actually. I will readily admit there's nothing in the way of direct evidence. There's at least a few primate societies that both contain homosexual animals and will act as I described, presumably for the reasons I described.

In addition, there is recorded evidence of a number of "primitive" human tribes behaving as such as well. I doubt I'll be able to find the article I read about it, so believe it or not, I don't particularly care, but that's what I based my statements on.

 

[Danglybits]

What's weird about that? A lot of woman are more comfortable around gay/bi men because they see them as less threatening and not completely sex crazed like the stereotypical male.

That's precisely the part I don't get. I get why gay guys come across as less interested in sex with the women in question, but unless we're working with entirely different definitions of bisexual here, being a bi male still means I want to have sex with attractive women. It also does not, for unexplained reasons, make me less "sex crazed" than straight men.

No, the prevailing "wisdom" on bisexuals says it makes you more sex crazed. Or that as a bi man you don't exist; you're just a gay man in denial. Aren't stereotypes fun?

If people think that women are more able to relate to bi men they're dead wrong. Women (even bi women) are just as likely to judge a bi man on the basis of his sexuality as anyone else. Yes he likes men; straight women like men. But he also likes women -- which means that he might have two different sexual roles (active/passive). What if he's a passive with women? Or not? People don't like things they can't easily categorize and women are just as responsible for reinforcing male-gender roles as all the cowboys, football coaches and drill sergeants in the world.

 

[Optimystic]

The opposite is true! Look:



Note: This is a joke. I don't believe this.

This made my entire night. GUILTYYYYYYY!!!

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Because I'm not gay, so therefore I'd rather not see men in my porn.