How to ask a girl out (Operation 7)

[Phoenix Arrow]

I have some advice. Stop being a knob and ask her out.
I really like helping people with relationship problems because god knows I've been through everything. But I'm bored of answering this question. I'm also pissed off because I can't get to sleep over the sound of the rain. But just do it. But ok, I'll give you a generic format.

Say how you feel about her. Keep it on the mellow side, she isn't dying. Then, say "would you like to go on a date with me some time?" If she says yes, say "are you free on x? Perhaps we could do y." Pick a day you already know she's not doing anything. Pick a normal date thing, something enjoyable but nothing too dramatic. If she says no, drop it. If she says maybe, drop it. If she says she really likes you, but she wants to just be friends, laugh because it's bullshit.

I can't tell you're a shy person, because if you weren't you'd have done this ages ago. I don't think you'll do it now tbh. Prove me wrong.

And for the love of god, do it in person.

Oh, before I forget, the next person who says anything about being confident should get a slap in the face. I've never met anyone who reckons the secret of getting girls is to stare at her shoes and say "umm". Trying to be confident when you're clearly not makes you look like a douche.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

MY PLAN NOW (Revised):
Engage in conversation, near the end, ask if she would like to get some lunch/dinner on meh... it must works!

 

[Kittenmauler]

Well you could always give hints that you like her until the point where she is sure you do, then wait for her to ask you out.....LOL j/k women never do any of the work. Just gotta learn to man up.

 

[Jon Ohlhauser]

Get a rose a box and a note for a movie with your name on it
get some else to give it to her cause you lack coarge

 

[Tdc2182]

Getting up the courage to ask is 9001x more difficult than actually asking.

Exactly this.

Plus, just act like its no big deal if she says no. It helps.

I learned the hardest way.

 

[coldshadow]

important thing to remember is that the perfect moment wont just come around, you either make that moment happen or you work with what you have.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Get a rose a box and a note for a movie with your name on it
get some else to give it to her cause you lack coarge

Where did you compile this retarded mash of fake information?

 

[LittleChone]

Just try and be friends for a bit and then see where it goes.

 

[Shuswah_Noir]

My theory:
Blurt it out.
The worst that can happen is she says no. Move on. I know that's easier to say than to do.
Blunt honesty is the best policy.

 

[Canid117]

Getting up the courage to ask is 9001x more difficult than actually asking.

"Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee/lunch/dinner" is all you really need.

huh, that ones new. I think I might use that on other girls if I can't get her, right now I am sort of leaning toward "Hey, would you like to see a movie with me sometime?"

To quote my Business Writing professor: "Don't ever give the other person an easy way to say no."

"Would you like to see a movie with me sometime" gives her PLENTY of opportunity to string you along---and it shows NO confidence at all from you. It's a no-balls question.

If you're going to ask a girl out, you give her a concrete set of things you intend to do (I usually ask girls out fairly spontaneously, but if I've the future in mind, I'll append a date and time, like "Let's go out for coffee. 2:30, after class tomorrow sound good for you? Coffee's on me.") I find that women are far less likely to say no if you put them on the spot, and once I have the girl in the Starbucks I make with the jokes and the charm and lo and behold, I'm starting to think I couldn't stay single if I tried.

Its probably the goatee. Chicks dig the Goatee amiright?

 

[Good morning blues]

Serious advice: don't ask her out, ever. You have too much invested in this, which a) sets you up for a more substantial disappointment and b) is both noticeable and unattractive.

You have put far too large an emotional investment into this girl that nothing has ever happened with. It is completely impossible that you will not be disappointed, either by the relationship not happening, or by the relationship not living up to your expectations.

Asking someone out isn't something you prepare yourself for; if you find someone attractive, you ask them out, and you do it before you get to be friends with them. Yes, you will get shot down. Pretty quickly, you'll realize that when you get shot down, you're no worse off than you were before you asked.

 

[NoblePhilistineFox]

...this forums full of intelegent people...

as if XD
seriously?
do you honestly believe that?

OT:
2 things,
1.)by the time you ask her out, another guy will have already taken that "rebound opportunity" before you could.
its called Murphey's Law and its a *****
2.)prioritise, would you rather kill zombies or date girls?
Im not saying you cant do both, but im saying you should focus on one and in your free time try to focus on the other.
so, which one is more important at this point in time of your life?
did you learn somthing about yourself?
or am I just asking stupid questions to f*ck with your head?
the world may never know...

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Getting up the courage to ask is 9001x more difficult than actually asking.

"Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee/lunch/dinner" is all you really need.

huh, that ones new. I think I might use that on other girls if I can't get her, right now I am sort of leaning toward "Hey, would you like to see a movie with me sometime?"

To quote my Business Writing professor: "Don't ever give the other person an easy way to say no."

"Would you like to see a movie with me sometime" gives her PLENTY of opportunity to string you along---and it shows NO confidence at all from you. It's a no-balls question.

If you're going to ask a girl out, you give her a concrete set of things you intend to do (I usually ask girls out fairly spontaneously, but if I've the future in mind, I'll append a date and time, like "Let's go out for coffee. 2:30, after class tomorrow sound good for you? Coffee's on me.") I find that women are far less likely to say no if you put them on the spot, and once I have the girl in the Starbucks I make with the jokes and the charm and lo and behold, I'm starting to think I couldn't stay single if I tried.

While I certainly find the immense confidence of making such a statement, admirable. I cannot imagine it being overly successful. Granted, my experience in the subject is nonexistence, however of the girls I know, there is only a couple I would be capable of using such a phrase without incurring a slap, and that is primarily because I have known them for years and they would presume I was teasing them... since I am notorious for doing so.

In regards to the the TC, confidence mate. It is the essence of a successful courting, this alongside simplicity. You needn't a ridiculously elaborate, meticulously crafted strategy. Simply ask her to coffee, lunch or a movie. Now if I could convince my brain to not be so exceptionally analytical, I would be golden. Unfortunately, such fortune is beyond my reach, xD

 

[Kris015]

The real problem isn't asking her out, it's the date itself.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Serious advice: don't ask her out, ever. You have too much invested in this, which a) sets you up for a more substantial disappointment and b) is both noticeable and unattractive.

You have put far too large an emotional investment into this girl that nothing has ever happened with. It is completely impossible that you will not be disappointed, either by the relationship not happening, or by the relationship not living up to your expectations.

Asking someone out isn't something you prepare yourself for; if you find someone attractive, you ask them out, and you do it before you get to be friends with them. Yes, you will get shot down. Pretty quickly, you'll realize that when you get shot down, you're no worse off than you were before you asked.

To be fair, this is heavily dependent upon the individual. Some are readily capable of having harbored significant interest toward one person, yet remained completely rational and nonchalant in the process. In the majority of cases, we are in agreement. I only seek to attach the aforementioned because it has been my experience. Of course, it is a rarity, and in regards to the TC, I am not certain it relates to his scenario.

 

[Horned Rat]

How well do you know this girl? If you know her well, then next time you're talking ask if she wants to grab dinner or lunch or something.

Pro tip: NEVER ask for movies on a first date. The point of a first date is to get to know her so she wants to go on a second. You can't do that sitting in silence for 2 hours. Ideal first dates... dinner, lunch/coffee, a concert (smaller bar gig not something as huge as Metallica).

If you don't know her well, strike up a conversation. If the conversation is going well then say "Sorry I've got to {insert something here, haha, that's what she said} but you want to carry this on over coffee?"

 

[Broken Orange]

Ah, asking out your crush. I had a crush in high school. In senior year, she was one of my classes and I wanted to ask her out. But the problem is that I am painfully shy. I regret not getting up the courage to just ask her out.

So, next time you see her, start up a short conversation then ask her "Want to meet me up for dinner/coffee/lunch." If you do go see a movie, take her to lunch/coffee/dinner before or afterwards. Movies don't provide enough opportunities to chat.

Don't waste this chance kid. Better getting rejected then not ever knowing. I am still trying to track this girl down.

 

[SimuLord]

Getting up the courage to ask is 9001x more difficult than actually asking.

"Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee/lunch/dinner" is all you really need.

huh, that ones new. I think I might use that on other girls if I can't get her, right now I am sort of leaning toward "Hey, would you like to see a movie with me sometime?"

To quote my Business Writing professor: "Don't ever give the other person an easy way to say no."

"Would you like to see a movie with me sometime" gives her PLENTY of opportunity to string you along---and it shows NO confidence at all from you. It's a no-balls question.

If you're going to ask a girl out, you give her a concrete set of things you intend to do (I usually ask girls out fairly spontaneously, but if I've the future in mind, I'll append a date and time, like "Let's go out for coffee. 2:30, after class tomorrow sound good for you? Coffee's on me.") I find that women are far less likely to say no if you put them on the spot, and once I have the girl in the Starbucks I make with the jokes and the charm and lo and behold, I'm starting to think I couldn't stay single if I tried.

Its probably the goatee. Chicks dig the Goatee amiright?

I look at it this way...I've dated enough women in my 33 years (and successfully gotten enough to sleep with me in the 16 years since I lost my virginity in the summer of '94) that I have a large enough sample size to know what's worked pretty consistently.

The women on this forum may argue the point to hell and back (I know a fair few of them wouldn't sleep with me if I were the last man on Earth, and I wouldn't have it any other way---I'd rather be successful in my niche than unsuccessful with everyone), but here's what's worked for me:

1) A simply ridiculous amount of confidence (and yes, I've had to fake it sometimes.) Women may say they don't want arrogant guys, but alpha males get chicks. It's part of our caveman programming (and is at the root of the "chicks want bad boys" cliche. Bad boys tend to be cocky.)

2) I'm great with children and animals. Play with her 3-year-old nephew and you know what she's gonna think? "Wow, he'll make a great dad someday". Doesn't matter whether you're 15 and kids are the furthest thing from your mind or 33 and looking for a potential mother for your own kids. Being good with animals means two things---one, you're a kind soul (make no mistake about it, animals know this instinctively), and two, awww wookit the kitty. So cute. ^_^

3) Honesty is the best policy. Successful relationships are based on trust, so make damn sure she can trust you. More than a few girls out there have MAJOR trust issues---even they will come around once they see that it's worth it to them to let you into their heart (and they tend to hold you closer once they do.)

4) Having a way with words is never a bad thing. Tell her something she's heard before in a way she hasn't. Any idiot can tell a girl she's beautiful. It takes a special kind of guy to tell her she's beautiful by focusing on something specific to her (not the T&A, you dog---save that for when she's shown an interest in that sort of thing, because sealing THAT deal takes a whole different skill set.)

5) Pay attention. If she tells you something about her life and you bring it up in context later, that shows her you're really interested...and that you're able to look after her (even a "strong, independent woman" type likes to know that someone will know where her keys are when she loses them!)

6) And yes. My goatee has magical powers. ;-)

 

[Canid117]

snip

I was making a light joke to loosen up the thread but sure go for the super serious advice if you want.

*reads the rest of the post*

Gotta love the Goatee man as long as its not on a scraggly hipster.