The Killer Rabbit

[Zombie_Fish]

WTF?! Wrong forum.

Anyway, I grab the shield and bash the rabbit's head in with it.

Next weapon: Blink 182

 

[Neonbob]

FUCK! FUCKFUCKfuck...fuck. I hate doing that.
I drop the band on the rabbit and it dies...fuck.

Next Weapon: Frustration.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I get frustrated and go on a mad killing spree, killing the rabbit. As well as everything else. But it was a necessary sacrifice.

Next weapon: This thread.

 

[Neonbob]

The sheer epicness of this thread utterly destroys the rabbit.

Next Weapon: Time.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Hmmm.... I use my time manipulation abilities to accelerate the rabbit's aging process, thus turning it into a pile of dust in a matter of seconds.

Next Weapon:
Me. (I know I'm just going to regret this.)

 

[Neonbob]

oooh, this is gonna be good!
I grab your ankles, rip you apart at a seam, and beat the rabbit to death with the two halves of you, before stringing it up with your entrails!

Next Weapon: Earwigs.

 

[TheDoctor455]

I smother the rabbit with them.

Next Weapon:
Sarge from Red vs. Blue (he's unarmed and too lazy to use his bare hands... and he's the only one anywhere near the rabbit)

 

[Neonbob]

His bumbling, overbearing idiocy forces the rabbit to stuff its own ears inside its canals to block the sound of his voice. It dies of blood loss.

Next Weapon: A stapler.

 

[TheDoctor455]

I staple the rabbit's ears together (which is where most of their major blood vessels are), so again, the rabbit dies of severe blood loss.

Next Weapon:
Those guys from Unskippable.

 

[Neonbob]

I make them comment on the rabbit's life, and it gets depressed. It signs up for an experimental antidepressant, but has suicidal thoughts, shoots at a cop and is killed. It was given the placebo.

Next Weapon: A cardboard box.

 

[TheDoctor455]

I put the rabbit in the box, seal it with duct tape, and throw the box into a vat of wet cement.
I'm not entirely sure of what the rabbit actually died of at that point, but I do know that it died because several weeks later, they removed the rabbit's corpse from the site.

Next Weapon:
My snarky forum posts. (feel free to quote me)

 

[Neonbob]

I tell the rabbit that all 404(at the moment) of your posts are directed towards it, and it just gives up.

Next Weapon: Budget Cuts.

 

[TheDoctor455]

The budget cuts are so severe, that the next time the rabbit needs to go to the vet, it's health insurance can't cover the costs. So the rabbit dies of... some disease that is deadly to rabbits.


Next Weapon:
My craptacular printer.

 

[Neonbob]

I open a document, cue a print, and shove the rabbit into the printer. It is strung out as it is rolled through the printing process. I laugh the whole time.

Next Weapon:
A pane of glass.

 

[Timewave Zero]

I faithfully re-enact the scene from 'The Omen' where the reporter gets his head sliced by said pane of plass, then I re-attach the head in time keep the little bastard alive and then I use the shards of glass to painfully sodomize the rabbit who then implodes for no particular reason.

Next weapon: A Non-Euclidean object.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I explain this to the rabbit and he just gets bored, confused and decides to kill himself.

Next weapon: A bag

 

[Neonbob]

I fill the bag with pennies, offer it to the rabbit, and when it opens its mouth to speak, force-feed the bag to it. The weight makes it impossible for it to chase me, and it dies from a horrible copper overdose.

Next Weapon: Rocket Engine.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I tell the rabbit that there is a penny stuck in my rocket engine and offer him money to fetch it out. He does, and whilst he's inside the engine I switch it on.

Next weapon: Crazy Taxi

 

[Neonbob]

I get him the hardest fare ever and lock the machine. He goes batshit and smashes his face into the glass so hard his skull shatters.

Next Weapon: a nail.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

I bet him chree fiddy he can't eat the nail. He does and I give him the chree fiddy. The loch ness monster then kills him and takes the chree fiddy and walks off.

Next weapon: Left 4 Dead