UPDATED!!!! Is she being selfish to want a baby??
- Thread starter DemonicVixen
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- Mar 31, 2010
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Its her choice... but I think tricking her boyfriend is a very hurtful thing to do, I very much want a child of my own but I would feel betrayed if I had a girlfriend who secretly stopped taking contraceptives in order for me to impregnate her. It could easily destroy their relationship. They should wait until they have finished uni and he has a secure job.
Yeah I have read your post. What you neglect to realise is that you don't need to use a condom when you and your partner agree she takes the pill. If she wants to stop taking the pill, that's perfectly fine, but she can inform her partner so he can start using the condom again. Blaming the guy for not using a condom when the girl says she's using something else that makes the condom essentially useless is either you trolling (likely by seeing your previous post that earned you a well deserved probation) or somehow (and I really don't understand the mechanics of it) widely missing the point.Cyberwulf said:
You want the truth?
Your friend is a fucking idiot. She's had barely enough life experience to land a long-term job, I'm guessing, and she wants a damn child? This sort of thing should be reserved into their late twenties/thirties. Children before that is ridiculous.
How long did you say the couple have been together, nine months? Yeah, that's not long-term. And she went off the pill without him knowing? Then she is merely a manipulative *****.
That's my two cents, anyway.
Your friend is a fucking idiot. She's had barely enough life experience to land a long-term job, I'm guessing, and she wants a damn child? This sort of thing should be reserved into their late twenties/thirties. Children before that is ridiculous.
How long did you say the couple have been together, nine months? Yeah, that's not long-term. And she went off the pill without him knowing? Then she is merely a manipulative *****.
That's my two cents, anyway.
Why is all the blame put on the girl? The guy is spineless and can't make a decision. Likely scared he'll loose her and says he's ok with accidental pregnancy.
I don't think they should have kids, but if he's just going to let her do what she wants then that's their problem. Be a good friend give your 2 cents and let them do what they want as stupid as it may be. It work itself out. I think most people don't plan pregnancy anyways.
I don't think they should have kids, but if he's just going to let her do what she wants then that's their problem. Be a good friend give your 2 cents and let them do what they want as stupid as it may be. It work itself out. I think most people don't plan pregnancy anyways.
I think she is being a bit selfish, they have not been together long enough to have a baby together, and should finish their education and get a good stable job before thinking about having a baby. She should not lie to her partner as nothing good would ever come out of it. You should talk to both of them,see if you can put a stop to it, in my opinion, it can't end well if she is deceiving him like that. she has put you in an awkward position aswell and that is not fair on you, so talk to them, but don't get too involved with it yourself
Yeah deciding to stop taking the pill and not telling him is not a good idea. Haven't you seen She's Having a Baby?
9 months is not a long term relationship.
Ultimately its both of their choices but i would suggest living life a bit before jumping into something that will rule the way the entire rest of you life will play out.
And if she stops taking the pill without telling the guy she is fucking evil
Ultimately its both of their choices but i would suggest living life a bit before jumping into something that will rule the way the entire rest of you life will play out.
And if she stops taking the pill without telling the guy she is fucking evil
and what about the babys life?silasbufu said:
No its not her choiceJoJoDeathunter said:
If she is basically tricking her boyfriend into knocking her up, then she is not mature enough to be a mother. She should break up with her boyfriend, concentrate on school and not even think about another relationship until she is old enough to make a mature decision about life-changing event.
I would tell her boyfriend immediately about what she is doing. If she does become pregnant as a result of her immaturity, he will also have to live with the consequences. He will be forever tied to an emotionally immature girl by a baby he never wanted, for which he will have to provide financial support for at least 18 years. I would tell him about her scheme, advise him to break up with her, and never speak to her again.
I would tell her boyfriend immediately about what she is doing. If she does become pregnant as a result of her immaturity, he will also have to live with the consequences. He will be forever tied to an emotionally immature girl by a baby he never wanted, for which he will have to provide financial support for at least 18 years. I would tell him about her scheme, advise him to break up with her, and never speak to her again.
Bad move, for two major reasons.
One, I think it's way too early to consider having children. Apart from the fact that it could well be kinda cruel, as you don't have a secure job or a nest egg or whatever, it's a huge commitment. Especially since it seems her boyfriend isn't really ready for children.
Two, the big one, is that it's underhanded, deceptive, and frankly, really selfish. If she talks it over with him, and they decide, by all means they can go for it. However, if her boyfriend is under the impression that she can't get preganant, for good reason, and she doesn't tell him the situation changed, because she knows he'll do something about it, then she isn't telling him for entirely selfish reasons. And this goes beyond "I didn't tell you about the cupcake cause I wanted it". Seems to me that this will be something like "I'm gonna have to stay at home to care for the baby you unwittingly fathered, so you'll have to quit Uni and get a better paying job for us". Not cool.
Basically, tell her to tell her boyfriend. If she doesn't, you tell him.
One, I think it's way too early to consider having children. Apart from the fact that it could well be kinda cruel, as you don't have a secure job or a nest egg or whatever, it's a huge commitment. Especially since it seems her boyfriend isn't really ready for children.
Two, the big one, is that it's underhanded, deceptive, and frankly, really selfish. If she talks it over with him, and they decide, by all means they can go for it. However, if her boyfriend is under the impression that she can't get preganant, for good reason, and she doesn't tell him the situation changed, because she knows he'll do something about it, then she isn't telling him for entirely selfish reasons. And this goes beyond "I didn't tell you about the cupcake cause I wanted it". Seems to me that this will be something like "I'm gonna have to stay at home to care for the baby you unwittingly fathered, so you'll have to quit Uni and get a better paying job for us". Not cool.
Basically, tell her to tell her boyfriend. If she doesn't, you tell him.
Depends on where you live. In Australia, lying about not using birth control, be it pills or a condom, is illegal. Best case scenario; the father accepts repsonsibility. Worst case; he takes the matter to court, and sucsessfully renounce all claims to the baby, including child support.Pirate Kitty said:
Worst worst case scenario; he chooses to go to the police, and it becomes a rape charge.
also, I do rather love the double standard here. what if the roles were reversed, and the man secretly started not using condoms? you'd cry foul so fast we would even have time to say "dr Phil".
Shes being a twat tell her to pull her head out of the clouds and not destroy whatever chance of a future she or he might have, heres whats a 20 year old is not going to do stay with a single child, have a future, earn good amounts of money, be happy. Not going to happen he's either going to bolt at the moment she tells him, ask her to abort the thing or live an utterly miserable life because she could not be arsed waiting 10 years.